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Are you married?
no im too young 12%  12%  [ 15 ]
Yes got married before 30 24%  24%  [ 29 ]
Yes got married after 30 13%  13%  [ 16 ]
Had multiple marriages 7%  7%  [ 8 ]
Have a failed marriage 9%  9%  [ 11 ]
No the idea of marriage is unappealing 18%  18%  [ 22 ]
No never was able to find the right person 18%  18%  [ 22 ]
Total votes : 123

ZombieBrideXD
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25 Jun 2016, 5:04 pm

Im 19 and in a few months ill be twenty and i really cannot understand marriage. Why on earth would anyone want to get married. I don't even believe humans are monogamous. Even if i was married i would want to have my own personal room and not share a bed, no sex, no touching, basically just have a roommate but even then it sounds so horrible. I hate it when people blame the fact that i dont want to get married is because im young (as a matter of fact people say that about nearly anything.) i believe getting married is a waste of time, pointless and you might as well give up half your life to another person.


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BTDT
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25 Jun 2016, 5:12 pm

I was married for 15 years--it was kind rough until we figured I had Aspergers, then we fixed a lot of issues and had a much better marriage until she passed away.



adoylelb90815
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25 Jun 2016, 5:52 pm

I was married, but it ended in divorce because my ex was controlling. It's a good thing I didn't get diagnosed until a few years after the divorce was finalized, as my ex would have used that against me.



Darmok
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25 Jun 2016, 6:23 pm

I would like to be.


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Last edited by Darmok on 25 Jun 2016, 7:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2016, 6:26 pm

I got married at 34. My wife is sick of my Aspie-like issues, and wishes I was "normal."

I don't see this lasting much longer.



nurseangela
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25 Jun 2016, 6:30 pm

I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. K. I thought you were happily married. What is it she isn't liking?


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Dreadful Dante
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25 Jun 2016, 6:59 pm

I think the ideal of marriage is to have long-term mutual respect, acceptance, love and sex. It would be something like having a roommate that you can share pleasure, be honest with and who can be with you through tough times.

It's very utopic, but it does happen. I think I would enjoy having someone to share my life with within my limits. I don't believe it is very probable, but it could and might happen.

I would need alone time as I always have, though. And probably wouldn't miss her. It's difficult to say if I could live happily with someone else in a relationship for too long.

My body temperature is colder for health reasons and I often get hypothermic at night so sometimes I wish I had someone warm to sleep with.

That's what I think of marriage.

Peacefully,
Dante.



Last edited by Dreadful Dante on 25 Jun 2016, 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2016, 6:59 pm

She doesn't like the fact that I like to spend the day researching things, rather than being occupied with finding the best price for things. She finds intellectual pursuits useless.



the_phoenix
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25 Jun 2016, 7:04 pm

Despite being an Aspie, I believe I could have been married,
have had boyfriends interested in me ...
but never anybody that was both a safe person to be around
and who shared, or at least respected,
my religious and political beliefs.

...



the_phoenix
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25 Jun 2016, 7:07 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
She doesn't like the fact that I like to spend the day researching things, rather than being occupied with finding the best price for things. She finds intellectual pursuits useless.


Wow ... I'm sorry to hear that.
It sounds like something that can be worked out?



nurseangela
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25 Jun 2016, 7:15 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
She doesn't like the fact that I like to spend the day researching things, rather than being occupied with finding the best price for things. She finds intellectual pursuits useless.


What does that mean? Are you researching to find the best price too?

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
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League_Girl
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25 Jun 2016, 7:45 pm

Reasons to get married:

You get more money back in taxes
You get more benefits like seeing your partner in the hospital if they have family policy only
You get to decide what to do with you partner's stuff if they die and you get all their money

But do not get married for these reasons, only marry if you love the person and want to spend the rest of your life with them and if they are the right person.


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ToughDiamond
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25 Jun 2016, 7:51 pm

Well, there's probably little point getting married if you don't want to live with a sexual partner, unless you just wanted the legal right to live in another country and that was the only way you could get it.

For myself, ever since puberty I've always felt a strong need for a faithful sexual partner who is also my best and closest friend, and I'm very attached to the idea of living together and sleeping in the same bed. I don't say it suits everybody. I've been through 3 failed marriages and a few out-of-wedlock failed relationships, but my current relationship is still very healthy after 3 years despite a lot of antagonism from external forces which we're striving to subdue, and I value that relationship very highly indeed.

As for marriage itself, I used to think it irrelevant because I think it's the way the couple feels about each other that's important, marriage has no direct bearing on that. Some folks have religious or other conformity-based reasons to marry, I don't understand those very well. But there are a few practical considerations. On the plus side, it tends to encourage the law and society in general to recognise and respect the relationship, e.g. potential sexual rivals tend to be less of a problem, people are more wary in general of trying to split you up, and if one of you dies then the surviving spouse usually gets a lot more rights to the deceased one's property and pension, and of course marriage to a foreign national gives you a better chance of living together in a country that has tight immigration laws. On the bad side, marriage can be an expensive thing especially if you opt for a big wedding with cultural expectations galore from various in-laws, and the ceremony itself could be a big strain. If you're receiving benefits, they might be cut, but in some places there's a tax break for married couples. And if the relationship finally fails, divorce is expensive too, and (in the UK at least) if your ex is likely to then suffer financial hardship, the law might decide that they can use you as a meal ticket forever after, regardless of your ex's behaviour. Clandestine affairs, desertion, even quite a lot of cruelty don't normally make a difference.

You might also want to marry so you can have children without any social stigma, though many communities these days won't judge you. Liability for child maintenance and custody / access rights are probably much the same whether you're married or not, but if you are married then arrangements for the children will automatically come to the attention of the authorities.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2016, 8:03 pm

My wife gets irritated if I point out the fact that there was a 1940s car in a movie which was supposed to take place during the Great Depression.



EmmaHyde
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25 Jun 2016, 10:16 pm

I'm not quite yet married but I am in a relationship (Long Distance, she's in Canada). Both of us discuss having a family and children, along with pets. She's got OCPD and I'm rather unorganized/ have issues with starting tasks and being motivated, which ends up complimenting/ balancing us out. There are other ways we compliment each other/help each other with how our brains wor.

Anywho, we're not engaged but we talk about/ label ourselves engaged to be engaged as we are waiting until I move to Canada to do the whole ring thing. The next time I visit, I'm more than likely going to give her a promise ring ^^;

I think marriage/ being in a life long partnership isn't for everyone. Some people are lone wolves. Some people need just one partner, some need multiple. It all depends on the person really.


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Ganondox
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26 Jun 2016, 12:16 am

I very much like the idea of marriage, as long as it's too someone I want to be with.


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