sonicallysensitive wrote:
Dreadful Dante wrote:
People seem so reluctant and defensive to let go of their tiny worlds of perfect and imaginary stereotypes. They use superficial and useless labels ALL THE TIME
Possibly the most frequently used superficial and useless label is the following:
'People'.
If you think you're over-reacting, you likely are.
It makes sense when I look at it from a "right now" point of view. When I'm not interacting with anyone, when I'm not clearly feeling bad or anything.
I was indeed "over-reacting" if I consider the moment I was writing as I was having a rush of frustration. Reading it again now, I do not believe it is "reacting" at all, the proper term would be "responding". Reaction is instant, response is somewhat guided by reason.
If I had only reacted, instead of writing or thinking through it I would have taken some stupid action that would lead to regrets. I don't regret it at all. The only thing I get now from reading that message and its answers again is clarity of thought.
I remember once I was talking to a friend many years ago and someone said (I don't remember if it was me or not) "This type of people is disgusting". He raised his hand and stated "If you talk about different people as "types", you are the disgusting one".
From that day I figured, doesn't matter how robust, pedantic or informed we are about what we talk about, there will be the limits of language, the ways people perceive it, and the inevitable emotion shaping how we talk.
Again about the over-reaction. I don't say "I must be over-reacting" or "Am I over-reacting". I think "What are the symptoms of over-reaction? Do I have them?" as a way to screen out my possible ways to deal with the situation. It's usual for me to ask myself these things. When I over-react I usually become conscious of it by questioning myself during of after the process.
I have worked on myself for years to be able to have a clearer communication. I am open to clarifying anything I say so it's not misunderstood and if I'm wrong, I need no one to needle me to change (I might need them to show me where I'm mistaken and explain why).
When I say "people", what I really mean is most of the ones who live with me and who I interact with. I have accepted they won't ever do the same thing I do which is think there can possibly be other ways or perspectives to see something. I won't ask of them, because I know how disagreeing with ourselves can be morally painful, it's cognitive dissonance, the feeling everyone runs from.
As I understand and see the world slightly differently, in order to not create a chaotic environment just for being there, I need to plunge into cognitive dissonance in order to understand their actions and beliefs. It has become something usual for me. For the majority of human beings, that is absolutely unbearable. Just like some usual things they do are unbearable to me but I inevitably go through them.
I am totally aware that my problems don't outgrow anyone else's. I'm also aware that writing and having other people comment about them help me to comprehend new ways of dealing with the issues.
That's how it works:
I write a feeling, then I name it.
Thank you for your answer, Sonically.
Peacefully,
Dante.
29 Jun 2016, 9:54 pm
