Mindblindness?

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I´ve always thought of myself as reasonably good at reading faces - and I think I am, as I note the smallest changes. The problem is, that I "think", I know, what is happening in people - and very often I do.....but most of the time, I can´t imagine why.

Situation: I ask about something - the other sneers at me and give half an answer. I think a lot about that and try to ask once more, but carefully - maybe too careful. Then the s**t hits the fan.
I have tried it so often - last time with my phys, who suddenly grew mad at me, it seems, when I asked for the meaning of one poisonous remark from his colleague, that have made me wonder for years, whether I was welcome in the clinic or not.
I´m never sure of that.

I have been there a lot of times in my life, because I grow too insecure over remarks, that may have been fired off in a moment of frustration. To me, however, it becomes a grave question, which I can´t let go.
I generally don´t understand, why it is so forbidden to ask in order to stop worrying.

Additional problem - I very often have difficulty understanding what is being said (no hearing impairment), -understanding the meaning. I might have missed much of what he said.
Sometimes i feel VERY handicapped and I am very down over the present situation now - insecure - afraid to meet him in the lobby. Total cramps.

Does this ring a bell somewhere?

Yep...it's hard for me to tell if someone is being serious when they make a crude remark--or if someone is merely in a bad mood.

Yeah, and it goes on and on in the poor head - while others might just toss it away and forget.
I just talked to another collegue of his. She said: He´s not mad at you.
I´ll probably never learn.

I'm in my fifties and worked out that I was probably aspie about 6 years ago. A couple of years ago, I spent some time with those things on line that help you read emotions and faces. Didn't really notice a huge difference but last week, something happened. I had a problem with someone I know and suddenly the scales fell from my eyes.....I have spent my whole life failing to detect CONTEMPT. I thought I had made someone angry, therefore, I could probably fix it by changing something, apologising, being nicer, etc.

But you can't change contempt, you can only "not be there". Genuine anger, you won't actually see all that often out there. Rage, yes, contempt, definitely. Anger and indignation are "clean" emotions (even if the person is mistaken in their beliefs) and quite rare.

This is big for me, I hope it helps you, too. Look up how to read contempt. It is the only emotion that is asymmetrical, it shows with a little smile or twitch on one side of the face only, while the other side looks unhappy.

These remarks from your - healthcare providers? seem quite baffling and perplexing to me. Without more details I can't be sure what's going on, but I suspect you may be wrong to see yourself as to blame for those communication failures. Could it simply be that they are acting like jerks? If you're just asking civil questions of professionals who know your condition and are (presumably) equipped to communicate well with you, I don't see why they have to lose patience and give you cryptic answers at best and unbridled anger at worst. I just find it really weird, because if somebody asks me a sincere question, I don't get angry, even if it's an awkward question, I just do my best to give them a sincere, clear answer. Occasionally I come across people who act weird when I ask them things, and they make replies like "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you," and I just conclude that I've happened upon an unhelpful individual or somebody who's having a bad day and can't remain civil. Or have I completely got the wrong end of the stick here?

AS people, looking to be more effective, say to pay attention to results implied, people's social fronts, and emotional lives, which are usually considered to be shallow, along the lines of popularity contests.

It's somewhat ironic, to me, that NT people, looking to be more effective, say to pay attention to numbers, classifications, and results accomplished.

I felt that these were autistic mannerisms.

ToughDiamond. No he´s not my healthcare person. Don´t have one.
He is my physiothereapist and he is very good. He has treated me for years and is, so far, the best for my problem and a very kind man - but suddenly he seemed more and more irritated and "snappy". I thought, it was because he had been ill, but efter the last time, when he didn´t even fninish his work, didn´t want to hear, when I told him, that an ischias pain came along as he worked, but just ran - I must say, my faith has weakened. I´m paying now (pains, that used to be under control) and he doesn´t answer, when I ask him to help reestablish the balance before I start training with another in the clinic.
It would be a good starting point.

Yeah, it sucks. Letting a social/emotional misunderstanding get under our skin is no fun and our poor little brain can not let it go. Happens to me all the time.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "Nobody can hurt me without my permission." Which is much easier said than done.

I am reminded of a comedian Gallagher and his smash routine. The people in the front rows wear raincoat and umbrellas to keep all the smashed melons off their clothes. When some is projecting offensive social/emotional signal, I need to put on a raincoat and open the umbrella.