Having Aspergers is Ruining My Life!

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I used to do ALOT of things, I was better at cleaning, organizing, taking out the trash, doing laundry, managing my money & more things. I'm Soooo different now, now that my mom is gone, she made everything better. This is my second time living on my own, but this is the first time without my mom being here, making things MUCH HARDER for me. Since I moved on my own again almost 11 months ago, my life REALLY turned upside down & I been on a roller coaster, I been very overwhelmed, have more anxiety, sometimes I been hyperventilating, having panic attacks & more things. I'm learning now on how to calm down more, I'm playing games again on my iPad, playing games can take away my stress, help with my memory, help with me being very overwhelmed in life, REALLY CALM me down & it's fun playing games. If I take things day by day, it will be easier for me. I HATE that I have to struggle in life, but I'm leaning on how to deal with life. Too bad some of my family members really don't understand me. Good thing Thanksgiving & Christmas are months away, cuz they can cause toooo much drama.

Can totally relate.

i know the feeling. when i was in high school, it seemed like i was more independent, but since i was diagnosed in 2011, it seems like there's pressure on me to be independent. people are looking over my shoulder telling me to do this or to do that.

Aspergers isn't ruining your life, your mom not being there to help you is ruining you life. You've always had aspergers, so you can't say you would have been so organized with out it. Now you just need to learn how to deal with things now that your mom isn't with you. Most people find living on their own hard at first.

I used to do better too. Now I just don't see the point in bothering. My autism isn't going to go away. And I know what you mean about it ruining your life. I feel surrounded by something that I can't enjoy or connect with. A permanent outsider.

Do you think something like this would help?

Life task flowchart (scroll down)

I used to use a day planner when I was taking classes and got too stressed out to focus. Then I saw this chart and was like, where has this been all my life? I mean, we used to use flowcharts at work for projects, but I never thought about using it for my life.

I spent years in several different homes for people with chronic mental illness, especially schizophrenia, before I was finally diagnosed with Asperger's. Being in so many homes nearly ruined my life, getting diagnosed with Asperger's and eventually moving into my own apartment probably saved it.

It's hard to believe I used to have to live with ten other people, not including at least two staff, and had to do everything they told me to do all the time. When to get up, when to eat, doing chores. I had barely any freedom or control over anything except when I wasn't there because I was actually starting to have a life *outside*. So I stayed out as much as I could to avoid the general chaos of living with ten people who were screaming, hallucinating, chain-smoking (indoors), hacking and choking and getting sick constantly. But I supposedly only had behavioral problems so everything I did wrong was completely my fault.

I still have bad dreams about suddenly being back there with no clue how or why, wanting to go back to my apartment, but someone else has already moved into it.