Need to proceed with a vacation aspie son home

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My son was supposed to be away at college but had a difficult first year so instead will be taking a semester at community college while living at home in the Fall. My husband and I planned a long awaited trip without him thinking he'd be at his college but instead he'll be at our house by himself for 12 days - we don't think that he can handle it. He has good days and bad days. what does one do with a 19-year-old adult son with ADHD and Aspergers who requires supervision? he's supposed to be working thru Labor Day weekend and Then starting community college the two days before we get home. I don't have any family who can do this for us - they work and live far away. I am thinking g about asking our good friends if they can allow him to sleep at their house - can come and go between houses, but I still feel like he needs someone to make sure he gets going in the am. Today, unexpectedly, he had trouble getting to work, refused to take his meds, breakfast or prepare his lunch until my husband forced him to.

Do we have to cancel our trip? Don't want to take him with us because he is supposed to be working (at a job he loves) and starting school.

I would appreciate suggestions from someone who has been thru this dilemma and has constructive ideas. My husband wants to cancel the trip.

What's the worse that can happen to him?

He must function at some level if you planned on him going away to school.

Will he not eat? Not get up? Burn the house down?

So he doesn't make it it to work. Many NTs have done this. That's a life lesson.

He eats junk food for 12 days, stays up all night doing computer games, and misses the first two days of school. NTs do this. Another lesson learned.

Your house looks like a frat had a party. Yeah...I know...but you really need to know how much this young man can handle.

I would go one the trip. I would have your son figure out that he needs to keep him on the straight and narrow. Daily phone check? Outline for each day so he can check off what needs to be done? Do you have a phone that you can program different alarms for different things?

What age level dose he truly function at?

If after all the planning, this turns into a tire fire, you have some proof. As of now, you only have he didn't hack school. What part of school messed him up? Was it the pressure of school coupled with anxiety and depression?

I wouldn't trust my 12 year old to stay home alone for 12 days. It might be possible (she's pretty responsible), but I would do it with my 18 year old nephew.

You gotta let him have a chance to prove himself. Have you asked him what he thinks/wants, and what it will mean if it all goes to crap?

I would go, do some brain storming with him, and let the chips just fall where they may. He needs to know what he can handle. Feeding yourself for 12 days, getting dressed, making it to work and school isn't beyond the average 17 year old.

Do you support him doing everything, like you would a younger tween/teen?

Could you do a weekend or something ahead of time to give him practice and confidence? You will either be reassured that it will be OK, or know what the issues will be and figure out if they can be scaffolded in some way.