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A good trend : Men stopped(cold) approaching women for good.

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HighLlama
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11 Jul 2016, 5:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Btw, let me tell you something regarding the manosphere, that it may shock: a lot of men do not see paying for sex workers as something for losers - this social rule you are talking about is commonly found among women, not among men.

I wanna give you a shocking reality check.

Let me give you a concrete examples:
Last year when I went to Prague for work, and at night we were wandering the old town with my coworkers; and they are from different natioalities : Lebanese, America, English and Czech.

Romance wise, I am the only one who would be considered.... a loser who can't attact women much- because I am the only one among them who isn't in a relationship while them are all in relationship (but their partners weren't with them in this trip).
My lebanese colleague is a very handsome man, very extrovert, he has a very very gorgeous gf, and I knew at least two girls who were chasing him.
The other men with us were married, some are in very senior positions too.

What happened? Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there; one of them gave up and started to talk to me about her family and she told me that I looked nervous, she was right. lol

The romance-winners on the other hand were looking, paid for a lap dance, and my colleague and another one paid for private sessions (it was full sex).

So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.

I can give you plenty of other examples.


Prostitution and stripping are not exactly dream jobs for most people. I have a feeling if a woman thinks you're a loser for utilizing either, it's because you're helping support a degrading and destructive labor system, not because they're concerned about your love life.

The women at the strip club weren't being bold, they were trying to make a living.



ShesGone
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11 Jul 2016, 5:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Boycott the cold approach, guys, boycott it. :twisted:

Umm...well, I think all guys in the world have boycotted it already without my guidance. :|


Check this article:

http://edumckaytion.com/blog/men-notice-women-anymore/

Check this thread, there are a lot of girls complaining online how no guys are just glimpsing but never making a move
http://www.girlsaskguys.com/flirting/q1 ... r-us-girls

And this is a real trend, very real - I have been subtly observing people in social gatherings, pubs, bars, gyms, activities - everywhere: The only instances where I am seeing guys talking to girls is if they are already couple coming to the place or a group of friends coming together to the place, but all guys who were not in the company of any girls (usually in a company with other guys) kept sitting there and doing their things, and I have seen no 1 guy, without any exaggeration, doing the cold approach thing to any of girls who are sitting there alone doing their things.

And this is good, men should boycott the cold approach altogether, because it's trouble, humiliating, and it simply doesn't work if you're average. Because media ridicule average guys (comedy, jokes, comics...etc) doing cold approach all the time, and no I don't mean they just ridicule the PUA and douche things - but any kind of a regular conversation initiation, so here we are, guys stopped it - bravo.

The only socially acceptable mating-approach nowadays is getting to know people through friends or when women initiate the conversation with the men.

+1


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kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 5:11 pm

She liked me, too. She initiated the kissing in the vestibule :heart:



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11 Jul 2016, 5:14 pm

^ Yesh, Sir :salut:


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Barchan
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11 Jul 2016, 11:19 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there

Did you want to do stuff?

If not; That doesn't make you a loser, that just means you wanted something those women couldn't offer you. Be proud that you didn't give in to peer pressure.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 1:52 am

Barchan wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there

Did you want to do stuff?

If not; That doesn't make you a loser, that just means you wanted something those women couldn't offer you. Be proud that you didn't give in to peer pressure.




I am no angel - but I didn't find the appeal, I am paranoid of STD too...

I was bit surprised (not much surprised, because I have seen it before since college) of the guys/ who have attractive gf/wife yet still went for it.



rdos
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12 Jul 2016, 2:57 am

Raleigh wrote:
Great. Guys shouldn't cold approach women if their only intention is to get a date.

If they approach women because they find them interesting and/or attractive and they genuinely wish to talk to them and find out what kind of person they are, then fair enough.

If you're not willing to talk to any kind of person, whether male or female, young or old, able-bodied or disabled, attractive or not so attractive, I doubt the cold approach method is for you.

I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.


I don't think that's how it works (at least for me). I can cold approach anybody if I have some reason to do it, like asking for directions, paying in a shop, or even asking for a dance. That's part of my social adaptation. What I cannot do it is to cold approach a woman I'm romantically interested in. That's just not possible, and no amount of training is likely to change that. Even if I cold approach her for a possible friendship, that will still not lead to a relationship, because friendships never change into relationships for me. Once I'm friends with somebody, the romantic dimension is lost, no matter how good match she is.



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12 Jul 2016, 6:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Check this thread, there are a lot of girls complaining online how no guys are just glimpsing but never making a move


You mean a thread with women complaining of how men stops kissing their asses?

Outrider wrote:
I blame modern extremist feminism and it making men afraid to approach.


Noone is afraid, we're just sick of wasting time feeding narcissistic behaviour.


Alliekit wrote:
Why can't both genders just approach each other?

If a girl sees a guy she like she approaches him and if a guy sees a girl she likes he approached her.


Because of stupid tradition. Men are "supposed to do the hunting". f**k that, it's 2016 already.

Jacoby wrote:
People are becoming progressively more antisocial with the replacement of human interaction with technology.


Asocial. Antisocial is harrasing, hurting and manipulating other people, like psychopaths do. Big distinction.

rdos wrote:
I can image that, and additionally, it's most likely the most attractive women that gets a lot of cold approaches that are most negative.


Can be truth in that, i went on a date with this extremely beautiful girl and when i asked her if she got compliments all the time she said "surprisingly no".

kraftiekortie wrote:
A few years ago, I looked up at that same window, just to see if she was there. Nope....not even close! It would have been great, though, if I would have seen her that day! We would have been about 50 years old at the time.

After all that, I decided that observation wasn't the way to go.


And it only took you 50 years to learn that :D

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.


Same here. I'm not interested in prostitutes either.



Anyway, reason why i give the cold approach (honestly - "dont give a damn" sounds better), is because women on dating sites have profiles that complain about: "oh noone is writing to me, only guys asking for sex all the time", yet i write to them and they dont even reply. And i'm not ugly, i know that for a fact. So i stop bothering trying to get a date and focus on my life instead instead of trying to waste mine chasing after the next idiot who will die alone with her cats.


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BTDT
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12 Jul 2016, 8:07 am

rdos wrote:
I don't think that's how it works (at least for me). I can cold approach anybody if I have some reason to do it, like asking for directions, paying in a shop, or even asking for a dance. That's part of my social adaptation. What I cannot do it is to cold approach a woman I'm romantically interested in. That's just not possible, and no amount of training is likely to change that. Even if I cold approach her for a possible friendship, that will still not lead to a relationship, because friendships never change into relationships for me. Once I'm friends with somebody, the romantic dimension is lost, no matter how good match she is.


Cold approaching a woman for a date is tough for normal NTs.

I think most Aspies are like you--acquiring the social skills for getting dates via cold approaches just isn't going to happen.



Barchan
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12 Jul 2016, 4:12 pm

I was cold-approached once. This guy just came up and started talking to me, and within about five minutes he had asked me out. I must have been pretty impressed by his boldness, because I said yes.

But... that didn't last long. We went on a few dates, and after about a week I realized he just wasn't my type. I felt kinda bad because he seemed to really like me, I just didn't like him.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Jul 2016, 4:29 pm

HighLlama wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Btw, let me tell you something regarding the manosphere, that it may shock: a lot of men do not see paying for sex workers as something for losers - this social rule you are talking about is commonly found among women, not among men.

I wanna give you a shocking reality check.

Let me give you a concrete examples:
Last year when I went to Prague for work, and at night we were wandering the old town with my coworkers; and they are from different natioalities : Lebanese, America, English and Czech.

Romance wise, I am the only one who would be considered.... a loser who can't attact women much- because I am the only one among them who isn't in a relationship while them are all in relationship (but their partners weren't with them in this trip).
My lebanese colleague is a very handsome man, very extrovert, he has a very very gorgeous gf, and I knew at least two girls who were chasing him.
The other men with us were married, some are in very senior positions too.

What happened? Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there; one of them gave up and started to talk to me about her family and she told me that I looked nervous, she was right. lol

The romance-winners on the other hand were looking, paid for a lap dance, and my colleague and another one paid for private sessions (it was full sex).

So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.

I can give you plenty of other examples.


Prostitution and stripping are not exactly dream jobs for most people. I have a feeling if a woman thinks you're a loser for utilizing either, it's because you're helping support a degrading and destructive labor system, not because they're concerned about your love life.

The women at the strip club weren't being bold, they were trying to make a living.



No, read again what hurtloam wrote:

Quote:
Plus escorts are seen as being for losers, not regular guys who can actually attract women.



What she said has nothing to do with contributing to a destructive industry, it was about the man's attractiveness capability.



hurtloam
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12 Jul 2016, 5:23 pm

Gonna be honest, my quote here comes from reading this forum.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jul 2016, 5:57 pm

No, Inchinin, I grew up and started talking to girls when I was very young.

You are cherry-picking, and looking for something to criticize. There's better ways to spend one's time.



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12 Jul 2016, 11:18 pm

Here are my thoughts on this.

Cold approaching a complete stranger in a random place is probably the method with the highest risk of rejection, and it seems that those who struggle socially are the most relegated to it, due to lack of real life social networks through which they can be introduced to people, and meet friends of friends, and so on.

If a person is terrified of rejection, and responds poorly to it, cold approaching is not a good method for them.

HOWEVER

There are two types of men when it comes to approaching women. Men who look at women and fear being rejected to them, and men who look at women and just have to go over and talk to them. These men have fundamentally different perceptions of the world. The first man focuses on the goal he might not obtain, and the second man focuses on having a good time talking to a woman.

Coming from a background where I've faced a lot of adversity, I don't think men who let the fear of rejection and failure inhibit them to the extend that they avoid the pursuit of what they want would actually make a good partner in life, because life is full of risks and rejections, and there will be times in a relationship where you have to take some risk to secure the well being of yourself, your partner or family. A person is liable to get rejected, or fail at any pursuit in life. A person can get rejected from a good job, or be rejected for a loan, or from a school they hoped to study at, or a program they hoped to participate in. A person can have a thesis rejected, a grant application rejected. A person can be rejected when attempting to rent, or even buy a house, and these days, people even get rejected from kindergartens and preschools in some areas.

I'm not saying you should tough up and go ask some random woman out even though you would be devastated if she said "no", I'm suggesting you change your views of approaching women, or maybe even people in general. If you enter into any social situation with the hope that you will be accepted at the top of your mind...if you approach a person thinking "I hope they accept me!" you are setting yourself up for some rough let downs. If you approach the person thinking "Hey, someone to talk to! I'm going to go say hi and maybe we can have some fun together!" then you are creating a much more casual situation for yourself, because you are not there to be accepted, you are there to have fun with someone, even if it's just a short, enjoyable conversation.

You have to have some nerves about you in life to pursue that which you want, or you will miss out on things you wanted and could have had.

And for the record, even though it's not as socially acceptable, and I have some reservations about it for reasons other than fears of rejection, I've approached more men than men have approached me, and I've been rejected by all of them. It doesn't bother me much as long as they are civil about it, because the way I see it is, if he's not interested in me, we are not compatible, and so I'm not interested in him.



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13 Jul 2016, 12:49 am

Why you people are assuming that asking out happens with the cold approach?
I don't think this ever happens - cold approach is usually for breaking ice; and getting contact.



Chronos
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13 Jul 2016, 12:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Why you people are assuming that asking out happens with the cold approach?
I don't think this ever happens - cold approach is usually for breaking ice; and getting contact.


Because the first thing you said in your first post on this thread was "Boycott the cold approach" and that is what I was replying to.