A good trend : Men stopped(cold) approaching women for good.

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RushKing
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11 Jul 2016, 12:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In real life, women rarely approach guys for various reasons--most of them having to do with societal expectations.

If I'm single and I like a girl, I would feel like approaching her. I might not do it owing to shyness--but I would feel the urge.

I wouldn't rely on girls approaching guys. Guys would be up Crap's Creek without a paddle.

I don't feel any urge to approach a women that wont make an equal investment.



Last edited by RushKing on 11 Jul 2016, 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

rdos
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11 Jul 2016, 12:20 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I have done the "observation" thing.

Responses have ranged from neutral to very negative.

I've had people ask me "Whaddaya lookin' at?" and threatening fisticuffs--yes, women!!

It just doesn't work for me.

Maybe I should go to Sweden and try that! :D


A lot of NDs have been accused of staring (probably mostly in relation to liking somebody a lot). That's almost a normal part of fitting in. You need to learn how much eye contact is acceptable to NTs, and then use that amount in probing people. I'm sure that if NTs hadn't reacted with anger to staring, I'd be staring a lot at people I like instead of using quick glances. So you should cope with this by practicing how much eye contact you can get away with instead of stop looking at people. Also note that NT girls will not look at you more than once unless they find you extremely interesting (usually unlikely for ordinary NDs), so you basically know that if a girl looks more than once then she is quite likely to be ND, and interested in you, so you can safely continue to look at her, giving longer glances if you like.

I'm pretty sure this works the same way in the US as in Sweden, so no need to go here. :wink:



hurtloam
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11 Jul 2016, 12:29 pm

I've heard women saying that they don't like the cold approach because the man is simply judging her on her looks and nothing more. That makes them doubt how serious the guy is in general. They think he's just after one thing.



rdos
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11 Jul 2016, 12:32 pm

Jacoby wrote:
People are becoming progressively more antisocial with the replacement of human interaction with technology. If gender roles are to be thrown out then this should be the first one since it makes much more sense for women to approach men then the other way around but of course that is not what is going to happen. We just have a more miserable, lonely, bitter population.


Yes, this is pretty weird. I don't think the largely innate courtship preferences of NDs and NTs will ever change. It's kind of strange that the NT culture (through feminists) have decided that several NT courtship preferences are not ok, and so they are trying to make them morally wrong. The good thing about it is that this does favor NDs that cannot do the cold-approaching anyway.



Sweetleaf
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11 Jul 2016, 12:34 pm

Maybe this is the case where you live, but I see plenty of guys approach females still.



hurtloam
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11 Jul 2016, 12:35 pm

In what way does this have anything to do with feminists? I'm genuinely confused here.



rdos
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11 Jul 2016, 12:40 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I've heard women saying that they don't like the cold approach because the man is simply judging her on her looks and nothing more. That makes them doubt how serious the guy is in general. They think he's just after one thing.


I can image that, and additionally, it's most likely the most attractive women that gets a lot of cold approaches that are most negative. Women that only get occasional cold approaches are less likely to see it as a problem. Because it is the group of the most attractive women that dislike it, men will listen as they desire them the most.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 1:36 pm

I just don't think I'd be a success just observing somebody for months at a time. I'd be too impatient if I have a crush on somebody. I'd want to do something about it, not necessarily sex, just companionship, being with that person, conversing with that person.

When I was 15, I had that sort of crush on a neighbor girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. I used to look at her window; not to see her naked, but just to see her. I wasn't really interested in seeing her naked. Nothing came of it, much to my frustration.

Earlier in that year, 1976, I had a BAD crush on a girl who lived in an apartment building about six blocks from my home. We had a passionate kissing session in her vestibule, where she taught me the proper way to tongue-kiss. She was 14, and much more experienced than I was. She was a Hispanic girl who had a father who didn't want her going out with a white guy. After the kissing session, I exploded many times in my bed.

I looked up at her window for about six months; then we moved away. One day, she ran out of her apartment building screaming and crying, I don't know why. I wonder if it had something to do with me (though I wouldn't necessarily conclude that).

A few years ago, I looked up at that same window, just to see if she was there. Nope....not even close! It would have been great, though, if I would have seen her that day! We would have been about 50 years old at the time.

After all that, I decided that observation wasn't the way to go.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 1:43 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I've heard women saying that they don't like the cold approach because the man is simply judging her on her looks and nothing more. That makes them doubt how serious the guy is in general. They think he's just after one thing.


If that's really the case then why those guys don't just pay for escorts? It's easier.

Initial attraction is always based on first impressions and mostly on looks; and this is from both sides - but by talking with the person you find out the othet qualities.

What those women are saying, this very poor assumption, is the very reason why I am saying that men should stop cold approaching women; the concept must die.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 1:46 pm

hurtloam wrote:
In what way does this have anything to do with feminists? I'm genuinely confused here.


I dunno, I didn't mention feminists; maybe you are referring to something said in the page I linked?



hurtloam
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11 Jul 2016, 1:46 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I've heard women saying that they don't like the cold approach because the man is simply judging her on her looks and nothing more. That makes them doubt how serious the guy is in general. They think he's just after one thing.


If that's really the case then why those guys don't just pay for escorts? It's easier.

Initial attraction is always based on first impressions and mostly on looks; and this is from both sides - but by talking with the person you find out the othet qualities.

What those women are saying, this very poor assumption, is the very reason why I am saying that men should stop cold approaching women; the concept must die.


Why don't they pay for escorts? It costs money. And social rules - it's frowned upon. Plus escorts are seen as being for losers, not regular guys who can actually attract women.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 1:53 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I've heard women saying that they don't like the cold approach because the man is simply judging her on her looks and nothing more. That makes them doubt how serious the guy is in general. They think he's just after one thing.


If that's really the case then why those guys don't just pay for escorts? It's easier.

Initial attraction is always based on first impressions and mostly on looks; and this is from both sides - but by talking with the person you find out the othet qualities.

What those women are saying, this very poor assumption, is the very reason why I am saying that men should stop cold approaching women; the concept must die.


Why don't they pay for escorts? It costs money. And social rules - it's frowned upon. Plus escorts are seen as being for losers, not regular guys who can actually attract women.


And dating costs money and.... time, a lot of time. :p And no guarantee for sex, in case those guys are only seeking for sex, like how your friends are saying.

I don't think guys who go for escorts would annouce it to all their surrounding, they do it secretly; and probbaly only their male buddies would know about it.



hurtloam
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11 Jul 2016, 1:59 pm

There's still an internal sense of shame that would stop them seeking out an escort. Or a feeling that they couldn't lower themselves to do it.

Some guys in the dating world do only want sex.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 2:04 pm

I'm not going to any escort. I would know that she's not into me--for me.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2016, 2:13 pm

I enjoy going to up to women and telling them they look good. I love the smiles I get.

I went up to this woman the other day in a bagel shop. She looked really elegant. I told her: "You look elegant today." She smiled and said thank you.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jul 2016, 2:14 pm

Btw, let me tell you something regarding the manosphere, that it may shock: a lot of men do not see paying for sex workers as something for losers - this social rule you are talking about is commonly found among women, not among men.

I wanna give you a shocking reality check.

Let me give you a concrete examples:
Last year when I went to Prague for work, and at night we were wandering the old town with my coworkers; and they are from different natioalities : Lebanese, America, English and Czech.

Romance wise, I am the only one who would be considered.... a loser who can't attact women much- because I am the only one among them who isn't in a relationship while them are all in relationship (but their partners weren't with them in this trip).
My lebanese colleague is a very handsome man, very extrovert, he has a very very gorgeous gf, and I knew at least two girls who were chasing him.
The other men with us were married, some are in very senior positions too.

What happened? Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there; one of them gave up and started to talk to me about her family and she told me that I looked nervous, she was right. lol

The romance-winners on the other hand were looking, paid for a lap dance, and my colleague and another one paid for private sessions (it was full sex).

So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.

I can give you plenty of other examples.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 11 Jul 2016, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.