Why would my friend say that? (about finding a partner)

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i have this habit of mine of getting all philosophical and all, but, well, yeah, there's that

Now THAT would have been the "loving girlfriend" of my dreams!

Actually, my girlfriend in 2009 was kind of like that. We got super-far on our first date, and had sex on our third date, with the grand total of 10 days in-between. But there was a catch: she wanted to settle down and have a family now. So she hoped to sell me on the idea with sex. It didn't work, given how time-sensitive she made it sound.

well you did notice i said it was after two and a half years of contact, right? make no mistake, there had already been a lot of drama between me and her at that point. A LOT. we were by far each other's most intimate friends, and there were countless very stressful relationship talks. in other words, i went through all the drama of a serious relationship, at length, before i ever had sex. it was my choice though, i wasn't in it for the sex

you get a girlfriend as a means to an end, she gets a boyfriend as a means to an end... goes around, comes around

Hmm... I guess after 11 years of doing that, outside the smattering of LTR's I had, I must have forgotten how to wait, lol. After all, if alpha males like my former friend never have to wait, why should I? Even with my most recent ex, the wait time wasn't that long, at which point, I had sex enough times before to simply not bother her until she's ready. But there's no way I'd wait for someone and turn down other opportunities for two long years. I suppose if I did, what would be helping me isn't willpower/patience/whatever, but merely my age, numerous past experiences, and banal apathy.

oh. entitlement. "ain't fair" and all. good luck with that...

Ah, I knew someone would say that. I prefer to think of it as fighting back against nature. It gave me beta-male genes through a stroke of bad luck, I get it. But instead of becoming a 40-year-old virgin, I took action and made an escort $300 richer. Speaking of the movie, it couldn't have come out at a worse possible time: when I was a 22-year-old virgin.

I watched the movie in a theater not too long after the escort visit. I was laughing so hard, that my friends wondered what's wrong with me. They knew the truth, though.

don't get me wrong. it did feel really bad and demoralized for it for a long time. but i made it a point to invest my energy and determination on something that entailed give-and-take. something believable. easy come easy go, no escaping that, and no use in bellyaching about it. your life may actually suck or may have actually sucked at the time, i don't know. that's not for me to say. but the real issue there is that what you're comparing yourself to isn't real. "alphas" exist just for show, and then nothing is ever enough. it's a constant struggle to keep self-doubt at bay, with little to no self-reliance in practice. that's no life. in the end these things aren't about fairness or justice. it's math and reality. there is nothing in life without downsides

if you aspire to be "an alpha" without naturally being one, all you get is the worst of both worlds

It could be the old how do I get a job if I need experience to get a job.

Why wouldn't he have trouble lining up women if he could consistently make his partners experience multiple orgasms? Far too many American men aren't good enough at sex to do that. I would not expect him to teach you how to do that, even if you were his best friend.

My first "job" was, um..., a "paid gig" (hehe).

Wow, where did the multiple orgasms thing come from??? He picked up girls left and right for two reasons: (1) he was extremely good-looking, and (2) he knew pick-up tactics, that he refused to tell me about. I only heard about the girls he had sex with, and got to see some of them fully clothed or in a swimsuit as he was seducing them in a group setting. But their orgasms is one thing we never discussed. I wish he'd tell me how he found all those sex partners, but it'd be easier to pull out my own teeth that to pull out that information from him.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 14 Jul 2016, 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If he was really good perhaps the word got around among the ladies.

Not necessarily. Sex---an almost exclusive privilege of alpha males among men---gives you a way bigger thrill when you're an ugly beta male. Even if it's escort sex. I remember my alpha male friend telling me about his FWB's he was having sex with. (Ironically, he never talked them into having a threesome; it was always one-on-one sex.) Sure, he looked happy, but he was floating at most 3 ft off the ground. Basically, happy, but not elated.

By contrast, after I had sex with my escorts, I always floated so high above the ground, that I'd bump into low-flying planes and annoy the pilots. It'd often take me weeks to proverbially parachute down to earth. Even after I spent more time practicing my habit, the emotional high never decreased. Probably because those women are amazing actresses, many of whom made me forget I was even with an escort. It really felt like she was my FWB who invited me for sex.

What's ironic is that I've had girlfriends since then, but sex with them made me feel listless and depressed next morning.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 16 Jul 2016, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

i swear, i simply do not understand people who choose to see life as a competition

to each their own, i suppose

This ^^^ The biggest lie about sex is that we are all more or less equal in bed.

This is just my opinion...
Alpha males do exist. In my experience, they never seemed to me to be suffering from any insecurities and can even be decent human beings. They can't teach you how to be them. You either develop into that or you don't based on nature and nurture. You may overcome your obstacles to function at a level that satisfies you but has anyone actually witnessed a beta becoming a true alpha?
Women are most assuredly on sites looking for random sex. (i. e. Tinder) I have witnessed this. Men who don't learn how to be great at sex and fail to realize many women seek and enjoy sex are the most likely the ones who can't find and/or can't keep partners easily. Not all alpha males are very good at sex but males who figure out how to seduce women AND satisfy them can be almost as successful as the alphas. You have to develop your own style. It's not a script you memorize.

Yes!yes!yes!

"What's ironic is that I've had girlfriends since then, but sex with them made me feel listless and depressed next morning."

Escorts sound like heroin. The addicts say it feels amazing but then where does that leave you? Life pales in comparison and at what cost? Do you actually just want to attain that one sided experience? Real relationships based on love, trust, respect,and great sex are like works of art that few work hard enough to achieve.

Your friend actually sounds pretty gross and I think he is lying to you about the number of sex partners he has - when I read that he had 4 FWB's and other partners "lining up" -- well, let's just say finding out a guy is a manwhore is just as unappealing as finding out that a woman is a slut. I would never date a guy who had that many "partners" and I doubt anyone with half a brain would either.

That being said - you can find better friends and ones that have slightly better morals. He sounds like a jerk and you should keep your sex life to yourself. Should have just gone to that escort, did the deed, and not even mention it to him.