An uncharacteristic gripe post about WP

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I don't often complain about WP, preferring to just ignore things that aren't useful to me, but a recent "Maybe I am leaving" post in another section, from a longtime member, did resonate with me in one way.

There are people here who want attention and support and help, who, no matter what you say or suggest, reject that advice. There are people here who, lacking the common sense of a flea, can't accept a well-meant opinion no matter how many kind people repeat the same thing in different words. There are people here who complain about their lives but won't take the first tiny effort to improve them. And many of these same bottomless pits of neediness offer very little to others in the community.

I make a career out of ignoring these people and their posts, and similar people and situations in my everyday life. If you are wondering whether you might be such a person, or whether I might be speaking about you, feel free to check in with me. If you do recognize yourself, then this is your opportunity to justify your existence and move in a positive direction with your life. And if you don't recognize yourself, then I haven't hurt anyone's feelings.

What does it pay???

Exactly, BeaArthur,

Thank you for saying something. I've learned not to respond to certain people's posts because you sincerely try to help only to find yourself attacked. Not worth my time.

That said, there are many nice people here too, some of whom I really should reach out to more. And you're one of those.

Keep on being a sign of hope in a wise way,

~~ the phoenix

^I'm the same, except I often over do it and try to help those who don't want help, because I love everyone and want everyone to be happy and find peace.

Nothing financially . . . just the satisfaction of a job well done!

Some people wallow in a pool of self-pity so deep that...dang it, ran out of metaphors. How embarrassing...

You've become what you complained about

i stopped caring if anyone takes my advice

I actually haven't seen the post here, but I know someone exactly like this in real life.
It's difficult to judge but I came to the conclusion that this person liked being miserable, and my constantly trying to fix their problems and make their life better was actually detracting from their happiness by improving things, so they could no longer enjoy being miserable.
Nothing wrong with just suggesting something helpful on the forum, and if the person chooses not to take that advice, then that's their affair. At least you put something helpful forward that might benefit someone else.

People can be very negative sometimes, what enthuses me is that autism is still a relatively unexplained phenomenan and there is a lot of understanding on this forum about it.
People can find themselves in a hole in life and they can't see a way out, my life still has its fair share of confusions but I know if I work hard I'll be able to make some thing good out of the unpleasant parts of my life. I feel confident about that.

I used to be like that when I was younger. The phrase "misery loves company" comes to mind. It's gotten better in recent years. I don't think offering free advice to this kind of person does you or them any good, considering they seem to have their mind set on being miserable no matter what happens.

Yes, you are correct. The part that bothers me the most are the drive by shootings, the gender and neurodiversity wars. I am on a long term mission to find ways to make my life easier. Constantly, banging my head against a tree, like Charlie Brown, does not help.

Conversations about how to improve oneself and function better in the world degenerate into unpleasant bickering. One subject that fascinates me is on how to use mindfulness to improve understanding emotions. The research into TMS and the brain are full of enticing approaches. Sorry about the off subject rant.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

I have never cared. Its up entirely to them.

I have a friend like described in the first post, me and another friend of his (that i also know) have continually over the years given him advice but he wont budge from his path in life, we both think he is on a destructive path but there is little we can do since it is up to him to change his destination in life.

The problem is that he thinks he has skill to become this super games designer, but honestly he is lacking in both skill and initiative. I've tried motivating him learning programming, but he "is already an accomplished PHP programmer" which me and the other friend thinks it means nothing because we actually have worked real software development projects and our common friend have no experience at all working on a large project.

What can we do about it IRL? Nothing. What could we do if we were on a forum talking to him? Nothing.

It's the individuals choice, regardless of him being an NT or Aspie. There you go.

I got a blood cloth as mentioned in another thread (to share my experiences), i already knew what to do. Lose weight, stop drinking cola, reduce salt intake, or face an early death. I didn't have to go out on forums and get advice because 1) i already knew what to do and 2) i didn't need peoples approval to continue to do bad things to myself (mostly since i'm not self destructive).

Askhole:

A person who repeatedly asks for advice from multiple individuals, only to ignore aforementioned advice completely. The askhole will choose the least logical option (usually their own), skipping merrily down the path into unbridled oblivion, blissfully and willingly oblivious throughout the entire ordeal.

We can conclude that an "askhole" is a gaping, cavernous pit of stupidity, into which good, sound counsel is thrown and subsequently lost forever.

(from Urban Dictionary)

There are more people than the askhole that might benefit from shared information, thats a good enough reason for me to say what I believe is right regardless, but not repeatedly to the same person.

Wanting to help other people is not just for them, it makes the information giver feel good to do the right thing. The only part of your gripe that can be controlled is your own behaviour not theirs, but can you be motivated to share information without the feel good feedback?

Very clever, Raleigh, thanks for sharing that definition! I have not seen the word before.