Fraternity Regrets?

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Has anyone who went to college here ever pledged a fraternity?

I pledged one once, and kind of wish I didn't. I was friendly with one of the leaders of it and was intrigued by the possibility of joining. I joined, but kind of hated it almost from the start. Most of the guys in my pledge class were people who were nice enough, but just didn't seem all that bright, and we seemed to have very little in common.

I was part of it for nearly a year, hoping Id "click" with the other people, but I never really did. Even though the frat as a whole didn't like me all that much, it demanded an inordinate amount of my time and money. The whole vibe of it was just kind of toxic and strange ( even though no hazing was ever involved.) They kept telling me what a privilege it was to be part of them and how I could never really "quit". Shows what they know lol Thankfully, I quit in a reasonable and civil manner, and the official I talked to was fairly understanding.

I sort of regret being part of it, but thankfully found a group of people in the Catholic youth group who I just had more in common with and were more pleaseant to be around. I guess it's lessons learned, but sort of wish I hadn't done it all the same.

Has anyone ever pledged a frat? What did you think of it?

From what Ive read it seems the opposite kind of place where people like us would be or even like at all.

Any ideas/thoughts?

Since you're Catholic and seem to want a type of fraternal org to be involved with without as many keg parties and such, have you thought about the Knights of Columbus? My husband is one. You can be as little or as much involved as you want to be and plus you get the hat and sword and can do cool honor guard. And you get to put together and run Casino Night.

If you're not Catholic then what about the Masons?

On a side note, the high school I went to had a sorority and I was in it. It was ok, and kind of fun. This was in 1980 and right smack in the middle of the preppy craze. I was also a majority and on the basketball team although I sucked at ball and only played once but I was surprisingly terrific with a baton.

Nah, Im fine actually.

At first I thought the idea was kind of alluring, but then I was part of it, and realized it really kind of wasn't. Im in law school now, and am fine with the friends I have and my faith. It is rather nice to have IMO, and has helped me through some difficult times!

No, my college banned them several years prior to my attending. But even if it hadn't I wouldn't have found the idea appealing.

No, because I don't see the need to join one.

I did in college. I regret it.

You do? Do tell!

It was really expensive. That's the biggest regret.

I don't know. I didn't really gain anything from it. I was mostly just the shy girl in the back. I guess I looked good enough to be admitted. (Seriously, that and just not being on academic probation seemed like the requirements...)

I wanted out because I couldn't really sustainably afford it and they gave me grief.

Ugh. Let me show you a video that was put out by the one I joined. I can't believe I ever did. None of that was me. At the time, I thought it would help me get jobs when I left college...the connections and all that...that's what they say.

Let me find the video. It's soooo shallow. (It's recent and not from the school I attended, but my fraternity...we were girls, but there was some reason why it was called a fraternity and not a sorority, I forgot.)

https://youtu.be/sLRvS6-oLO4

I mean...did you learn anything really informative from that video? Like how they are learning or becoming better people or how they would make good employees??

Like I said...mistake.

I still get the mail though and get harassed to go to local DG meetings (I don't and would be embarrassed to do so).

If they somehow taught us something worthy or we focused more on philanthropy (we did, a little, to be fair), I could see how you might want to be partial to someone when hiring because you know they went through some program that taught them something.

...but that's so not what it was.

I will say, I worked with fraternities and sororities at another job I had where I needed volunteers for a local title I public school.

I contacted all of the ones in town (we have 3 universities in town).

*None* of the girls did anything long-lasting. They wanted quick things, fun things, and photo ops. I knew that, so I used them that way: I called them for extra helped for field days and to come read books on particular special days to kindergarteners (MLK day, Veteren's day), etc. All good photo ops. I appreciated the help.

But...the boys I got. I had at least 12 who came 1-4 times per week to tutor the same kid all.year.long. No photo ops.

I appreciated all the help I got, obviously, but I was more impressed with the ones willing to sit with a kid and do something unglamorous.

They didn't ask, but I gave each a certificate thanking them for their long-standing service and a tally of the hours they gave (adding a little buffer for driving time or if they spent their own money to buy the kids something).




So, I'm not saying these groups can't do good. My experience inside one was just not like that. I wish it was.