The autistic burnout - energyblocking from others?

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I've know understood that this is what I have. I've thinking about becoming almost like a hermit. Exhausted after years of trying to get friends, caring people, etc and it's the same result 99% of the time. I will from now on focus on getting better, retreating a little bit and work on my hobbies. I am a highly sensitive person when it comes to peoples energy, it's like they consume my soul when I look into their eyes, sometimes I even get physical symptoms from it. When they leave, after having had to live w them for a while, I take days to recover. Does anyone else have the same? Have you chosen a relatively permanently life without others? I'm thinking of trying, for my sanity. I've done it halfway before and I feel psychologically better

I think it would be good for you to pursue your hobbies.

I, myself, would like to be what I call a "pleasant" hermit. Pleasant, polite, and open to people, but wanting to do most stuff myself.

This thread may interest you, OP

viewtopic.php?t=153352

There doseem to be distinct aspects to AS burnout that differ from the conventional idea of NT burnout, and this topic has not received any serious 'professional' attention and research to date so far as I know. (There are also some shared aspects - like the collapse of energy and will - common to both NT and AS forms of burnout).

Also I suspect that the midlife transition phase for AS people is one of the times that they are most likely to experience autistic burnout, the transition from late adolescence to early twenties seems another such phase of vulnerability to autistic burnout. My guess is that many professionals may be diagnosing this midlife autistic burnout as depression (the NT midlife form of depression) and offer SSRIs, the side effects of which may make the numbing out of burnout much worse.

PS Lately I find myself thinking more and more that the prevailing heuristics used to classify people in distress not only don't work for many AS people [which has been evident for a long time] but are an actual form of harm, which so far seems to lack any professional recognition or acknowledgment. There are still areas of AS reality and experience that would benefit from some light and enlightenment,,

Yes. When you are done with your hermit time, let me know and I'll speak a bit to energetics and being an empath. It's a subject outside of wrongplant's focus though. There are lots of different autistic points of view here, and many of them don't have this particular take on things. I, for one, see no reason to expose that side of myself to people who aren't really receptive to the idea. Its not that they are not worthy or something, I just prefer not to have this side of myself scrutinized by people who see things differently.

viewtopic.php?t=122615

This thread explains the reasons behind burnout to me. It seems there is no solution outside of drug use.
High doses of Xanax reverses some of my symptoms and so does sleep deprivation for some reason.

I do find that exposure to people often drains me badly, but as long as I feel safe with the people concerned, and good about them, I'm fine. I think for me it's down to confidence - both in myself and in them - or conversely, if the people aren't right for me, or if they're an unknown quantity, I become increasingly anxious that something's going to go wrong. When I feel sure I'm among like minds and kindred spirits, I can go on for ages, the only thing that makes me "need" to take a break is a "tired but happy" feeling and a growing longing for a bit of space. Sadly these days I don't know many people I feel so good with. I love being with deep, supportive, soft-spoken, non-competitive, honest, non-judgemental people who share most of my core values and tastes.

You can send me a PM with it if you want =) I will still be a hermit.

I know. They could accuse me of having bad social skills.

Ok. So, energetics lesson number one. Every interaction has a power structure. Every interaction is an exchange of energy. When it comes to finding a teacher, you have to first observe who seems to have the skills/presence that you want to have, and secondly, you almost always have to ask them to teach you. If it goes the other way, and the teacher approaches you, that seems easier, right? But that's a totally different energetic. They are approaching you, and asking you to take in what they have to offer. Its totally different than setting up an exchange where you ask, and they provide. The former has a certain amount of force to it, yes? And the later, is harder, and more subtle, but there is a different relationship between teacher and student.

So the first thing you need to do, after finding someone that you would like to teach you, is to gather yourself and ask if they teach. If they don't, ask them who taught them and if you could have their contact information.

I emphatically agree with the observations about burn-out.

Being a total hermit, however, deprives you of many social goods humans "need," like touch and validation.

What I suggest is that you get an animal friend. I used to obsess over horses, and currently live over a barn with eight. Horses are ideal if you have the space because they enjoy and can provide lots of tactile stimulus, enjoy defined social hierarchies, and you can leave them at the door of the house when you can't bear contact with anyone at all.

If you don't have lots of space (I cannot breathe in a city, though I worked as an attorney in NYC for five years before becoming in-house counsel in the boonies), then I highly recommend female Greater Vasa parrots. I live with one female and one male.

Greater Vasas are not only much more intelligent than horses, but the females like to cuddle and play (sometimes too much for me) and like schedules, so they help you get up and go to sleep on time. Unlike African Grays, which often pair bond with their human so strongly that tragedy occurs when the bond must be broken, Greater Vasa parrots breed in groups: they are both polygamous and polyandrous. I got the second parrot so that, when I die or become disabled, the parrots will have another flock member to depend upon.

My parrots are free-flying; I feel it's as wrong to cut their wings as it is to hamstring humans. I do admit, however, that you must be tolerant of messes if you live with un-caged birds (even if you toilet train them).

Of course, you could also go with a dog (IMO too clingy and unimaginative) or cat (not always available when you want them) or research other species like the rabbit varieties that were bred as companions.

I think I can explain the sleep deprivation, as I have had similar experiences.

Sleep does restore energy...but it's not restoring the parts of your brain that all that social exposure has tired out. When you skip sleep and, instead, engage yourself in your own activities and passions? It's a form of convalescence for the more ASD-aspects of your exhaustion. The trick comes in that one needs to balance their need for sleep with their need to recharge their own batteries.

I work a schedule that is seven days on, seven days off. By day 5 (or so), I'm completely exhausted; the 12~14 hour days have left me with no time to engage my brain, so I've got to choose between sleep deprivation and utter mental burnout. :/

Yes. I call it energy vamping or theft and its relatively easy for an NT to do and they do it as a second nature. No surprise that Aspies spend time on their own being creative and making sure they don't have their energy stolen, or recharging themselves after having it stolen! I used to work in a hospital and that was one of the few areas where energy was not stolen so much. Go figure!

Autistic burnout is much simpler to explain than some energy sapping from other people, certain social enviromental factors, etc etc. no need to make it sound so complicated.

The short and scientific answer is that autistic burnout is exhaustion from the absence of being able to subconsciously perform actions. An autistic person has to consciously do things in many cases a non-autistic person would not. (Temple Grandin said she has to move one lever at a time in succession when operation machinery since she cannot control then all at once, this represents a severe case of this inability).

All these things that make you feel burned out are because you have to think too much or manage them directly.
If our amygdalas weren't so defective, we wouldn't have this problem.

Burnout would largely disappear if Tony Attwood's "discovery criteria" described in this link replaced the tiresome defectiveness monologue:

http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php ... e-criteria

You seem to ignore many things, Jh, the impacts of marginalisation and stigma being just two of them, instead always emphasising defectiveness to camouflage the realities of living with the impacts of many other factors. That's what Autism Speaks does, and what its supporters do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX4UQWI6kFk

This young man is cleeaaarrrrllly upset because he doesn't have enough accommodation or understanding. YUP! It has nothing to do with being angry he was born autistic, no no! It's because not enough people are bending over backwards to make his life easier, he absolutely loves being the way he is and wants even more people to spend their tax dollars paying for taking care of autistic people all over the world!

Burnout obviously comes from people not being nice enough or making everything in our lives easier for us! It has absolutely no biological basis! All those stupid scans of brain activity and more showing underaction in parts of the cerebellum when performing many multi-tasking activities obviously is a lie! And it's a well know fact rigid thinking, difficulty with change, literal mindedness, difficulty with problem solving or performance, and difficulty with contextual communication, shades of meaning, etc. are the hallmarks of genius!

(Tony Attwood? He looks like the Jamie Oliver of autism specialists to me.)

Burnout is HARD. I've written about it quite a bit on my blog because burnout is what eventually lead me to being diagnosed. I try to stay positive and get creative when I have burnout. I limit my commitments to other people and allow myself to flake at the last minute if I need to.

Good luck - They ARE temporary.


https://anonymouslyautistic.net/?s=burnout