West vs East : Relationship and family values.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2016, 3:37 am



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20 Aug 2016, 3:40 am

even more on-topic:


https://youtu.be/tzQuuoKXVq0

and it's all true. ask any italian, they'll confirm it. what i said about "generous exceptions" can also be reworded as "not taking things seriously"

in my experience, italy has more in common with south america than with northern europe


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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Aug 2016, 3:56 am

^ a teacher once showed us the video you posted and said "just imagine it's lebanese flag instead of Italian and it'll still be all true."

I believe there's a Mediterranean culture.



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20 Aug 2016, 4:01 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I believe there's a Mediterranean culture.

yes, i think so too (which probably has a lot to do with the roman empire and all the trade and migrations involved in it. both caused by the empire, and also what was already there and served as basis for it to thrive). and then it's combined with other historical influences (other empires/religions etc). though the "pride" thing (which you don't really see in the video), maybe it's more specific to italy/europe?


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20 Aug 2016, 4:36 am

i think, somewhere along the line, honor became pride, and then pride became vanity. and vanity is gradually becoming the norm worldwide ("the third iteration"). cycles of civilization, from communal living at first, to more and more competitiveness throughout history, maybe tied to the speed and depth at how communication needs to happen (getting faster and more shallow over time)

it is weird though how countries like japan can still be so conservative. i guess it's because of how they're so aggressive at being early adopters in other areas. they're "vain" in different ways to stay competitive while maintaining their traditions. but they're probably reaching their breaking point. i think the hikikomori phenomenon is an example of that. sooner or later there's a limit. you can't study 40 hours a day :lol:


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20 Aug 2016, 5:00 am

Not sure what you mean exactly of the pride thing, but Eastern cultures are stronly honor cultures.
I think pride is more related to "not losing face"?



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20 Aug 2016, 5:10 am

hm, no, i wouldn't use the expression "losing face". i've seen it used as a very characteristic chinese thing actually

it is hard to define what i mean. maybe i'll need some time. but it's clear to me that it's real and important as a social value. it's passed through generations. i can imagine someone's body posture when i talk about it. mussolini was a caricature of what i'm talking about. i think it's more about showing strength (while honor is more about actually having some kind of unity, and vanity is more about drawing attention)


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20 Aug 2016, 6:04 am

"Not losing face" is certainly a strong characteristic of most of the East, including China.



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20 Aug 2016, 6:29 am

i'm thinking of the two people from lebanon i've met in person (there's a significant so-called "syrian-lebanese" community here, but it's mostly third-generation and forward by now. mostly christian lebanese i think. you see them often in positions of social influence, like medicine or politics)

one was a man (store owner, probably christian), the other one was a woman (technical researcher, westernized muslim). both had a friendly "at your service" kind of attitude. that's something rare in italy. the italian way to be welcoming is to show off what they have to offer ("pride"), instead of asking you what you need

the only cultural ethnicity here that hasn't really integrated even after a few generations is japanese (the only significant "asian" ethnicity here). they still have a "japanese neighborhood" in the city, and they often go to live in japan when they're young (but then they're seen as total foreigners there despite being 100% ethnically japanese, and they're not treated well. kinda like "how dare you pretend you're japanese". while, in italy, if you look italian and you speak italian, you're italian)

oddly enough, by my last year in college, most of my pseudo-friends were japanese (yes, they are overrepresented in college). there was also a japanese girl in high school who seemed to be interested in me. but then she got really discouraged when people started to suggest she actually was interested in me. they were probably just pulling her leg, but she really didn't like it

it's too bad i didn't realize what was (probably) going on. to me she was just a friend, but, in retrospect, she was probably the one person i might actually have had something meaningful with back then. i don't even remember how i met her. she wasn't connected to my group of friends. she wasn't ugly, but she wasn't particularly attractive to me either, so i didn't really notice her that way. i was too busy being obsessed with someone else


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20 Aug 2016, 7:20 am

anagram wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Amity wrote:
Maybe the typical spatial awareness differences between men and women influence the importance some women may place on men owning a car. Whats wrong with placing value on a strength men generally have?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/ ... n-men.html

like my father says: "just ask your insurance company". old people pay more for medical insurance, women pay less for car insurance. i don't think biological differences are a major factor at that though. it's probably just that men tend to be overconfident (and so make more mistakes), because "men are supposed to be good drivers"

the op is more complex, so i'm responding to it next

Here it isn't legal to discriminate against men with regard to car insurance, due to EU rules banning gender discrimination. It meant that the cost of my policy went up while the insurance companies figured out ways to indirectly discriminate against men and still charge them more. Go equality!

I meant that from a visuospatial perspective men tend to be more adept due to how we evolved, eg men hunt, women nurture etc
I don't see any problem with people valuing traditional gender differences.



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20 Aug 2016, 10:29 am

Amity wrote:
anagram wrote:
like my father says: "just ask your insurance company". old people pay more for medical insurance, women pay less for car insurance. i don't think biological differences are a major factor at that though. it's probably just that men tend to be overconfident (and so make more mistakes), because "men are supposed to be good drivers"

Here it isn't legal to discriminate against men with regard to car insurance, due to EU rules banning gender discrimination. It meant that the cost of my policy went up while the insurance companies figured out ways to indirectly discriminate against men and still charge them more. Go equality!

I meant that from a visuospatial perspective men tend to be more adept due to how we evolved, eg men hunt, women nurture etc
I don't see any problem with people valuing traditional gender differences.


If there is some superior spatial ability amongst men, whyever that may be, when it comes to driving any benefits are quickly overwhelmed by a sense of superiority. The drivers I see going at idiotic, unnecessary speeds and risking both their own lives and those of other road users are by a huge margin (easily 40:1) male. Which is borne out by the hospitalisations and deaths reported in the local news. All the spatial ability in the world isn't going to keep you safe when you take a tight, blind corner on a narrow road, drifing half into the oncoming side at 50mph and there happens to be a like-minded indiviualcoming the other way.

If I wanted to impress with my spatial ability, I'd take up juggling or darts, not rely on luck or the good sense of other road users in a game of unintentional/accidental chicken.

I think women liking men with a car is a hangover from men being allowed/expected to be more independent than women - the man can literally take the woman places - and also possibly as a status marker.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


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20 Aug 2016, 11:01 am

^Yes for sure, it all plays a part.
I agreed with the linked article about women being safer drivers too. My point is that some women choose to value traditional gender roles and that should be OK!
I've always been the driver, but I've known women that genuinely struggle with driving, whether that's conditioned or innate or both I don't know, but it's real.



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20 Aug 2016, 11:10 am

anagram wrote:
i'm thinking of the two people from lebanon i've met in person (there's a significant so-called "syrian-lebanese" community here, but it's mostly third-generation and forward by now. mostly christian lebanese i think. you see them often in positions of social influence, like medicine or politics)

one was a man (store owner, probably christian), the other one was a woman (technical researcher, westernized muslim). both had a friendly "at your service" kind of attitude. that's something rare in italy. the italian way to be welcoming is to show off what they have to offer ("pride"), instead of asking you what you need

the only cultural ethnicity here that hasn't really integrated even after a few generations is japanese (the only significant "asian" ethnicity here). they still have a "japanese neighborhood" in the city, and they often go to live in japan when they're young (but then they're seen as total foreigners there despite being 100% ethnically japanese, and they're not treated well. kinda like "how dare you pretend you're japanese". while, in italy, if you look italian and you speak italian, you're italian)

oddly enough, by my last year in college, most of my pseudo-friends were japanese (yes, they are overrepresented in college). there was also a japanese girl in high school who seemed to be interested in me. but then she got really discouraged when people started to suggest she actually was interested in me. they were probably just pulling her leg, but she really didn't like it

it's too bad i didn't realize what was (probably) going on. to me she was just a friend, but, in retrospect, she was probably the one person i might actually have had something meaningful with back then. i don't even remember how i met her. she wasn't connected to my group of friends. she wasn't ugly, but she wasn't particularly attractive to me either, so i didn't really notice her that way. i was too busy being obsessed with someone else


I think I see what you mean of pride now - I think it's something common in cultures with long imperial history.

Hmmm... if only Hannibal made it. :p Imagine how the world would have been today, would Italy and Europe have been the same?



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20 Aug 2016, 11:51 am

Amity wrote:
My point is that some women choose to value traditional gender roles and that should be OK!


I can agree with that.

Quote:
I've always been the driver, but I've known women that genuinely struggle with driving, whether that's conditioned or innate or both I don't know, but it's real.


Certainly. I think it's a mix of those and more besides, but that's what I think of most things.

I grew up in a carless household, so was (am) used to public transport and walking (and in my youth, cycling). I'd have struggled to afford a car anyway, so never bothered to learn once I was old enough. Mrs Hopper (who also turned out to be autistic) had a go not long after we first got together, but struggled - she couldn't keep up with the sequential processing. She has trouble negotiating some of the more complex pedestrian crossings at busy crossroads, so driving was pretty much right out.

I didn't fancy my chances, but tried a few years later. I did fine when it came to town driving, as it's a constant flow of information and adjustment, which I was used to from cycling. But I'd edge into panic attacks when it came to driving on fast roads - anything over 45mph and I'd get very nervy. My instructor encouraged me to take my test, but I just wouldn't have felt safe, and worried I'd do myself or somene else serious harm.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


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20 Aug 2016, 5:34 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I think I see what you mean of pride now - I think it's something common in cultures with long imperial history.

Hmmm... if only Hannibal made it. :p Imagine how the world would have been today, would Italy and Europe have been the same?

the whole world would probably have been different. though it's fun to imagine how different. because the mediterranean would still have been dominated by a mediterranean culture, not an outside force. but would europe have been the center of the world order? probably not. would we have had a punic empire reaching global influence? what cultural values would it have spread and perpetuated?

i feel like playing civ5 right now :D


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22 Aug 2016, 2:14 am

anagram wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I think I see what you mean of pride now - I think it's something common in cultures with long imperial history.

Hmmm... if only Hannibal made it. :p Imagine how the world would have been today, would Italy and Europe have been the same?

the whole world would probably have been different. though it's fun to imagine how different. because the mediterranean would still have been dominated by a mediterranean culture, not an outside force. but would europe have been the center of the world order? probably not. would we have had a punic empire reaching global influence? what cultural values would it have spread and perpetuated?

i feel like playing civ5 right now :D


I feel like playing Rome: total war. :lol: Rome 2 did have a very nice Carthage campaign, it was well done.