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Biscuitman
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02 Aug 2016, 3:43 am

Anyone else feel they are just wasting their years away?

I have spent the past 15 years hiding away indoors obsessively reading books. Every now and again I daydream about having adventures - cycling LE to JOG, walking up Ben Nevin, canoeing and camping out, Inter railing, running across the width of the country etc and I fear I will live to regret just hiding myself away.



auntblabby
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02 Aug 2016, 3:55 am

an outsider might look at my life and conclude with alacrity that it is a patent waste in all respects. but I took the road less travelled, actually stumbled onto it, and if I had not done this, i'd likely be just another off-the-rack human being of no discernable flair. just my opinion.



kraftiekortie
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02 Aug 2016, 7:38 pm

I often feel that I've wasted quite a bit of my life.



auntblabby
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02 Aug 2016, 8:15 pm

^^^^mebbe you just took the scenic route?



the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:09 pm

Biscuitman wrote:
Anyone else feel they are just wasting their years away?

I have spent the past 15 years hiding away indoors obsessively reading books. Every now and again I daydream about having adventures - cycling LE to JOG, walking up Ben Nevin, canoeing and camping out, Inter railing, running across the width of the country etc and I fear I will live to regret just hiding myself away.


Sometimes I am lazy and wasting my time, and sometimes I am accomplishing things.

I love reading and books.
Imaginary worlds of fiction ... some people have likely wondered if I'm "too" imaginative / involved in science fiction at the expense of reality.

That said ...
real life adventures
can be far better than
the imaginary worlds in books.

I encourage you to go out into the world
and actively pursue your dreams.
Cycling, Ben Nevin ...
Canoeing? I used to be into that big time, dressing up like a Native American as a volunteer historical re-enactor. :D
Camping, running ...
It's summer ... now's the time! :)

...



the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:12 pm

auntblabby wrote:
an outsider might look at my life and conclude with alacrity that it is a patent waste in all respects. but I took the road less travelled, actually stumbled onto it, and if I had not done this, i'd likely be just another off-the-rack human being of no discernable flair. just my opinion.


This is about as clear as mud. :?



xile123
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02 Aug 2016, 9:12 pm

I've wasted at least half my life. Hopefully the next half will be better.



the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:15 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I often feel that I've wasted quite a bit of my life.


Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
But you do have today, right now,
and can make it count.



the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:16 pm

xile123 wrote:
I've wasted at least half my life. Hopefully the next half will be better.


Here's to hoping ... and to taking steps toward your goal!



ToughDiamond
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02 Aug 2016, 9:42 pm

I've sometimes felt that way, especially if I've been getting a lot of anhedonia or if life otherwise gets boring. And I had one or two brief bouts of the wasted-life feeling when I was in my early 20s - I don't know why that was, as things weren't particularly bad at the time. Possibly the result of pursuing an isolated special interest for too long, when I looked up from it I just saw a glimpse of my future self as a lonely old man with no friends, so I guess it was more of a morbid anxiety, very transient though. It didn't turn out that way and I was silly to imagine that it would.

I would think at your age, OP, there's every chance that your future will have some good stuff in it, especially if you make a point of looking for fun. Probably just a matter of getting out and about a bit, nothing too drastic at first. It's all too easy to safely rot away alone, and if it's not your idea of a full life, the only way to change it is to open your door and go somewhere.



auntblabby
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02 Aug 2016, 9:45 pm

^^^QFT. :star: :idea: :star:



C2V
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02 Aug 2016, 10:48 pm

I get this constantly. The only time I don't is when I'm travelling.
Even if I am, by external standards, definitely going somewhere, I often feel that impetuous like a proverbial wolf at my heels driving me on because whatever I'm doing in the present just isn't productive enough.
That's my one horror - just wasting life in a dull nothing until you die, and never having lived it at all.

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I would think at your age, OP, there's every chance that your future will have some good stuff in it, especially if you make a point of looking for fun. Probably just a matter of getting out and about a bit, nothing too drastic at first. It's all too easy to safely rot away alone, and if it's not your idea of a full life, the only way to change it is to open your door and go somewhere.

Yeah, surprising how hard that can be for an autistic though isn't it.


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raisedbywookiees
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03 Aug 2016, 1:53 am

Hey Buscuitman, I've done my fair share of hiding away too and can identify.

I've only recently started this, and every excursion can be a challenge, especially driving, but when I'm out and about being active but odd engaging in the things I like, such as mountain biking, I try to focus solely on what I'm doing right now, not having any expectations that every outing will be perfect (sometimes I get anxious about recouping lost time), CHOOSING to ignore peoples horribleness about my different style or approach and not becoming preoccupied with negative thoughts and feelings surrounding any painful social encounters or general wig outs. If I don't, and it prevents me doing something positive and or interesting for myself, I become angry, resentful and dickish.



SocOfAutism
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03 Aug 2016, 8:26 am

raisedbywookiees wrote:
Hey Buscuitman, I've done my fair share of hiding away too and can identify.

I've only recently started this, and every excursion can be a challenge, especially driving, but when I'm out and about being active but odd engaging in the things I like, such as mountain biking, I try to focus solely on what I'm doing right now, not having any expectations that every outing will be perfect (sometimes I get anxious about recouping lost time), CHOOSING to ignore peoples horribleness about my different style or approach and not becoming preoccupied with negative thoughts and feelings surrounding any painful social encounters or general wig outs. If I don't, and it prevents me doing something positive and or interesting for myself, I become angry, resentful and dickish.


This is very good, solid advice ^

I'm not so sure that hanging around reading books is a waste of your life. What else would you be doing? How many people really do rush up and down rapids in canoes? Not that many. Most of the things "active" people do is just bumbling around, making mistakes they later regret bitterly, trying to keep up with other people.

It seems to take many autistic people longer to get started, but often they end up making wiser decisions than non-autistic people. They may suffer MORE for taking "the road less traveled" (to co-opt that) than the people who bumble, but there's a lot to be said for being thoughtful about one's life, and doing things once, properly. All this working up to things means you won't take anything for granted. A canoe ride for you will be appreciated, not wasted taking selfies.

Try easing into some things slowly. Look at the time you've spent as investment into yourself and the rest of your life.



VYcma
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03 Aug 2016, 8:42 am

I have been wasting my life since I was 13 years old and hope to fix this soon.


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btbnnyr
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03 Aug 2016, 11:52 am

You could start doing some of the things you want to do instead of hiding away.


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