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b9
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03 Aug 2016, 1:56 am

Quote:
Got a Date Tomorrow

everyone who is not dead tomorrow has a date tomorrow. it will be tomorrows date.



kraftiekortie
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03 Aug 2016, 6:45 pm

How'd it go?



androbot01
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04 Aug 2016, 4:11 am

It didn't. He never got back to me about the time change. Good call Chichikov.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Aug 2016, 4:27 am

The military part is always suspicious, it is the most common "luring women" spam on dating sites.

For guys, they use the 'nurse working in Nigeria' (or Ghana).



androbot01
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04 Aug 2016, 4:36 am

I'm beginning to be suspicious of the whole internet dating idea. A friend's son and his wife met online and they are doing okay, but they are young people. I'm in the "second-time around" category.

I should have known when he asked to see a full-body picture. Reminded me of ancient Athens where they used to have the girls run around naked so the guys could decide who they wanted to marry. He didn't even mention our common interests.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Aug 2016, 4:38 am

Hmm.... spammers usually don't ask for Full-body pics, they don't care about that; unless he was expecting a nude full pic and planning to blackmail you.



androbot01
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04 Aug 2016, 4:43 am

Haha ... he's got the wrong target if that's his idea. But no, not nude.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2016, 9:42 am

I'm thinking you've dodged a bullet.

I wonder how you would do with EHarmony.



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04 Aug 2016, 10:06 am

Some do seem to have good luck on dating sites.I know two couples that met that way.I didn't have much luck,went on a couple dates but none panned out.They were ok,but we just didn't click.
I did go out with two men I met here.Both great guys,but they both live out west.My biggest problem is where I live.Its very rural.One guy came and stayed here for a couple weeks,he said it was beautiful,like an enchanted forest but he would never want to live somewhere as remote as this.
Good luck and be careful out there.


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06 Aug 2016, 5:23 pm

androbot01 wrote:
I'm beginning to be suspicious of the whole internet dating idea. A friend's son and his wife met online and they are doing okay, but they are young people. I'm in the "second-time around" category.


Me too, Androbot, but I met my current husband at a dating site. I consider it a successful marriage. The key is to be smart in your usage. You've already hit several common issues with this first guy, so you can wade through the messages better in future.

Asking for a full-body picture is mainly code for "are you morbidly obese?" It strikes me as shallow, so I would probably decline and move on. (I'm obese, just not morbidly obese, but the bigger issue is I don't have time to waste on people like that.)

Why shouldn't you date? Why shouldn't you online date? Don't you deserve to be happy?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2016, 2:41 am

^ Hmmm, so is it shallow when women on dating sites ask me how tall I am?
Because I can interpret that as a code "are you too shrimp for me?" (despite it is stated in profile details, but many seem don't read it or are rechecking directly with me).

And it is their right to know after all, no? Otherwise It might lead to awkwardness and waste of time.

You are not entitled for a man if he doesn't like your body type.

The guy did what a lot of women do: flaking at last moment.
At least he didn't get her stood up.



androbot01
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07 Aug 2016, 3:34 am

Misslizard wrote:
Good luck and be careful out there.

Thanks!

BeaArthur wrote:
... I met my current husband at a dating site. I consider it a successful marriage.

Cool. It is heartening to hear a success story.

BeaArthur wrote:
Asking for a full-body picture is mainly code for "are you morbidly obese?" It strikes me as shallow, so I would probably decline and move on.

I found it to be a shallow request. He completely ignored talking points I had brought up about our common interests.

BeaArthur wrote:
Why shouldn't you date? Why shouldn't you online date? Don't you deserve to be happy?

Well thanks. I'm going to keep trying. I think the problem is that I smoke and I'm not working. I'm going to a hospitality job fair on Tuesday, so that might take care of the second point, but I'm not quitting smoking. I like smoking.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You are not entitled for a man if he doesn't like your body type.

I'm not entitled to a man at all. I think the issue is prioritization. Ignoring the common interests and jumping to ask for a picture does reek of shallow.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
The guy did what a lot of women do: flaking at last moment.
At least he didn't get her stood up.

Flaking out is what a lot of them seem to do. I have worked on my profile and am pretty sure I'll have a job in September, but frankly I think the problem is my demeanor in chats. I have chatted with a few guys, but I never make it past the initial volley.



John 35 Alabama
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07 Aug 2016, 4:03 am

You said you paid for a dating site? If it's match.com, there are hidden fees, and they made it very hard for me to cancel. It may just be me, and I was one of the few they do this to.
The main reason I wanted to mention this was because I usually found the same exact users on the pay site as I did on okcupid.com, a free site. This is because most of them wanted to broaden their catch, a very smart thing of course. It just means you get the same people from the free site as you do from the paid one.
Once you know the warning signs, however, you should be golden. The folks on this thread have done a good job of highlighting things to watch for.
Anything too good to be true, or they are hesitant to talk on the phone? Big red flag. You did good by talking on the phone with this guy, and definitely don't give him any more of your time if he's rescheduling and then not calling you again.
He's either married, or a con artist, or just doesn't know what he's doing. Either way, not worth your time.



androbot01
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07 Aug 2016, 10:22 am

John 35 Alabama wrote:
You did good by talking on the phone with this guy,...


I didn't talk to him on the phone, just through email.

I am beginning to realize that a lot of the guys my age and a bit older want women younger than me. A few times I have seen 55 year old men looking for women 40 or younger. Kinda weird as I wouldn't think they'd have much in common. A couple of guys in their thirties have looked at me, but that wouldn't work...we would be in different worlds.



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Aug 2016, 10:26 am

I think flaking is used a lot because it is the easiest (yet least honest) form of rejection.



John 35 Alabama
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07 Aug 2016, 3:41 pm

It's funny because of how poorly it works on me. I just take it literally and keep trying them for more dates.