Why Are Aspies Suspicious Everyone Is Lying About Autism?

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AdamLain
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08 Aug 2016, 4:28 am

It seems to be an issue with almost everybody with Asperger's, they think everyone else is lying about their diagnosis. It's weird, insensitive and totally makes no sense that someone would go to such lengths to deceive others like that.



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08 Aug 2016, 4:49 am

I've encountered that sort of skepticism, myself. I think it's partly people thinking that if you're not like me (however that's actually defined), then you can't really be on the spectrum. Of course, that's an implicit denial of it being - well, a spectrum.

Also, age seems to play a role. I was diagnosed late, and a lot of younger people seem to assume that if you made it well into adulthood without a diagnosis you can't be autistic. They don't take into account that kids weren't routinely screened decades ago.


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AdamLain
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08 Aug 2016, 5:01 am

untilwereturn wrote:
I've encountered that sort of skepticism, myself. I think it's partly people thinking that if you're not like me (however that's actually defined), then you can't really be on the spectrum. Of course, that's an implicit denial of it being - well, a spectrum.

Also, age seems to play a role. I was diagnosed late, and a lot of younger people seem to assume that if you made it well into adulthood without a diagnosis you can't be autistic. They don't take into account that kids weren't routinely screened decades ago.


It does seem that when you are diagnosed as a young child you may act different than those who we're diagnosed say in their 30's, probably view themselves as different and odd because they have known they had Autism forever. Would have to think you would have more behavior issues when your parents coddle you all your life.



MjrMajorMajor
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08 Aug 2016, 5:07 am

We're different and odd with or without diagnosis. A proper diagnosis is just a brief description of our reality.

I'm not suspicious about anyone lying....why the heck would they?



AdamLain
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08 Aug 2016, 5:45 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
We're different and odd with or without diagnosis. A proper diagnosis is just a brief description of our reality.

I'm not suspicious about anyone lying....why the heck would they?


Well, although I have called myself different, odd, re'tard, worthless, stupid and other terrible things (still do every once in a while, unfortunately) I realize it is unhealthy to have that self image and I would like to change that way of thinking so I can someday be truly happy.



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08 Aug 2016, 7:15 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
We're different and odd with or without diagnosis. A proper diagnosis is just a brief description of our reality.

I'm not suspicious about anyone lying....why the heck would they?


The assumption seems to be that maybe we're trying to cash in on a "popular" diagnosis in order to portray ourselves as special little snowflakes. I've likewise had pushback from people not on the spectrum. When I revealed my diagnosis on Facebook, one friend on Facebook suggested that ASD was "trendy." (You know, because a life of awkwardness and alienation is apparently what all the cool kids are doing...)

My stepsister has made multiple snarky comments about my "label." I recently had to unfriend and block her, as she was becoming increasingly obnoxious online.

It happens.


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08 Aug 2016, 7:31 am

Quote:

It does seem that when you are diagnosed as a young child you may act different than those who we're diagnosed say in their 30's, probably view themselves as different and odd because they have known they had Autism forever. Would have to think you would have more behavior issues when your parents coddle you all your life.


I think there's an element of truth to that. I ran into a lot of angry and entitled ASD activists on Twitter when I made a separate account there to talk about autism. I wrongly assumed that I'd be met with an understanding and friendly group of people. There were a few nice people I met, but the majority of activist-minded people seemed to have nothing but hatred and anger for anyone they deemed "ableist" or an outsider. And since I didn't grow up learning the common language of the ASD world, I stepped in it. Not just once, but again and again.

Eventually I got tired of all the misdirected rage and pulled the plug on that account. I don't have the energy to stay outraged at everyone, all the time or to listen to those who are.


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BirdInFlight
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08 Aug 2016, 7:55 am

Thank you for posting this, it needs to be said. I, too, just cannot understand why suspicion is so rampant, for the same reasons: would anyone in their right mind think that ASD is a desirable thing to have and want to lie about having?

Personally, my own story as a late-diagnosed, was that rather than "want to join the kool kidz klub" I was actually in shock and denial for at least ten years, and that was after merely stumbling across the criteria and finding it all fit me and every memory I'd ever had of my life and childhood.

Rather than discovering I fit ASD criteria and then thinking "yay can I be in you guys' gang too?" or thinking "Yay I get an excuse!" or "Yay poor me now everyone can say poor you too," instead I felt actually very shaken.

I'd spent a lifetime working to fit in and even the whiff of illumination that there might actually be AUTISM behind my strangeness was something that I perceived as in fact a threat to my entire self-concept. Because, by very virtue of the fact that I was from an older generation, I still perceived -- at that time -- autism to be only severe, and only "a tragedy".

I know better NOW, but ten years ago when I had to reframe myself, I was shaken to the core.

Jump to a few years ago I came to WP hoping for friendly guidance in a path to more formal investigation, and instead imagine my shock to find people here all but telling me I'm nothing but a fake jumping on a trend. I was 50-something and long beyond interest in trends or excuses.

This stuff rears its head on WP regularly and I'm always extremely dismayed.


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08 Aug 2016, 8:17 am

I've found the diagnosis to very helpful to me, explaining so much about my past/present experience. Also about my anxiety, depression, attention problems, relationship issues, etc. I guess it's understandable that NTs would be suspicious. We live in a world that's hard to comprehend, and so many walk around (in my opinion) with a different point of view (from mine/ours) that I can't imagine is at all authentic. But what do I know. I'm not them. But there also is a lot of haters out there, for anything. People like to label, criticize, and judge. At least some people do.

Do you think NTs are less suspicious of a diagnosis of anxiety or a mood disorder? I think so. I think ADHD, however, still gets some scrutiny. Also, one historical thread that is uniform (up until recently) is people with any issues being marginalized, and described as spaz, retard, moron, idiot, cretin, witch, what have you. There's a very long history of suspicion and naming. And it just hurts the world in the long run.


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08 Aug 2016, 8:27 am

It's not just the problem of NTs being cynical of an AS diagnosis or claim, though, jcfay, it's when other people with autism/ASD themselves accuse other ASD people of not having autism. For me, that's the real knife in the gut.

I kind of expect NTs not to understand or believe, not that that's okay either. But it's the others on the spectrum that really hurts.


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If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

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Last edited by BirdInFlight on 08 Aug 2016, 8:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

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08 Aug 2016, 8:28 am

AdamLain wrote:
It seems to be an issue with almost everybody with Asperger's, they think everyone else is lying about their diagnosis. It's weird, insensitive and totally makes no sense that someone would go to such lengths to deceive others like that.
It isn't that I think that everyone is lying about their diagnoses; only the ones who claim that they've diagnosed themselves, and only after they've read the one Wikipedia article and/or taken one on-line test.

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08 Aug 2016, 8:36 am

But how does anyone know that someone has only "read the one Wikipedia article and/or taken one on-line test"? I mean, perhaps there may be once in a while someone who opens an account on WP and claims exactly that -- "I just read Wiki and took a test and hey I'm an Aspie, guys!"

But isn't that person kind of a rare occurrence? From what I've noticed, more people seem to have come here stating that they've done more research than that.

I know I for one did more research after my initial suspicion, a lot more, got more and more depressed, and then stopped even wanting to think about it for years.

Then I began again to research but it was still a dark thing for me, not something I was eager to embrace.

I only finally got diagnosed two years ago having first suspected myself in the early 2000's. That's a long time to consider something and turn it over in one's mind before making rash proclamations.

Also, self-suspecting is better than self diagnosing but a rose by any name is often necessary as a precursor to pursuing a real diagnosis anyway.

I realize that's only one person and anecdotal, but if there was me there may be more like that, and I've seen more who describe this also.

Again all anecdotal, but it's very hard to be one of the deeper explorers for whom this was a painful thing to even suspect, and find that everyone merely assumes: "Oh you read Wiki and saw Big Bang" or whatever the raft of accusations may be that week.


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If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~


Last edited by BirdInFlight on 08 Aug 2016, 8:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

jcfay
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08 Aug 2016, 8:38 am

ah, thanks, birdinflight. makes sense. IDK. I think with a "diagnosis" as frankly vague and diverse (it's really beyond a spectrum, when you think about it - I see it occupying varying degrees of symptoms on multiple axes, and then with additional "comorbid diagnoses" like anxiety, depression, etc. that can have such significant overlap with the criteria of ASD that I find the lumping incredibly problematic, myself). It's so damn murky. So I can imagine someone with terribly impactful symptoms on certain axes would be potentially suspicious of individuals who look so different, but have been lumped (or lump themselves) into the same category.

One can't be critical or suspicious of anyone on these forums who's been diagnosed or self-diagnosed. It's nonsensical and misinformed. No one knows anyone else's full experience here. And then the diagnosis is so damn varied as well. Plus there are incredible challenges to getting a formal diagnosis - cost, inability to find practitioners (not to mention good ones), stigma, very high rates of misdiagnosis (e.g. someone labeled with GAD, dysphoria, ADHD rather than ASD). And having a diagnosis of ASD provides some sense of identity, something that perhaps we feel we lacked prior to getting diagnosed? So some feel that is valuable, and perceive others potentially devaluing that sense of identity with self-diagnosis. IDK...


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08 Aug 2016, 8:40 am

BirdInFlight wrote:
But how does anyone know that someone has only "read the one Wikipedia article and/or taken one on-line test"?...
They say so.

"After reading that article, I just knew that I was Autistic; and that on-line test just confirmed it!"

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08 Aug 2016, 8:45 am

there are a lot of people that like to feel special with X diagnosis

I believe self-diagnosis of the spectrum as much as I believe self-diagnosis of anything else

there are a of people that suspicious of those that are actually diagnosed and obviously disabled so I think it's natural to be skeptical of those in social media and elsewhere that do not appear disabled



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08 Aug 2016, 8:46 am

I agree, even formal diagnosis by qualified clinicians is, to be honest, "murkier" than anyone would feel comfortable admitting, particularly those same clinicians. And yes it must be hard to be severely impacted then observe a Level 1 person and feel quite angry that one is expected to believe this person has anything in common or deserves their diagnosis or even their pondering that they might belong.

Sometime I feel like everyone would only be happy if they once again split thing into Asperger's and autism as if they were not the same thing. Even though it's been deemed by higher minds than ours that it is...I dunno anymore.


_________________
~ ~ ~

If you have a problem with something I post, something I believe, something I do or say, something in my sig, or something I am stupid enough to share that I'm struggling with and being caused pain by -- TELL ME TO MY FACE so that I can defend myself, instead of see you make a mockery of or a dig about it later.

On the other hand, friends will never need an explanation, and enemies bent on disliking me will never accept one.

ASD Level 1, PTSD. Plus anxiety with panic attacks, mild sub-clinical situational depression -- and a massive case of sheer freakin' BURNOUT.

~ ~ ~