Co-workers are your 'main social circle'?

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CyclopsSummers
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08 Aug 2016, 2:20 pm

So this is something that's been bugging me... I am a loner, not really by choice but I've learned to not feel so lonesome as I never succeeded in making any friends. The thing is, at work I have fine interactions with a couple of co-workers, though this never leads to meeting up outside of work. So I'm in this social situation where I don't have a circle of friends, acquaintances, or relatives around me to interact with in my spare time, and my co-workers are basically the people I see and talk to the most-- while they, in turn, have their friends and families and I am a secondary person to them.
It feels like I don't have a 'central' social life, but only a 'peripheral' social life that takes place mostly on the workfloor. Outside of work, I only interact with store clerks and sometimes with people I meet on organized group walks and other hobby/interest-related events which also never lead to friendships.

Does anyone have a similar situation?


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IDontGetIt
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08 Aug 2016, 4:11 pm

I find that the limited interaction I have with co-workers is pretty much the limit of what I can realistically deal with. It's nice to have people who I get to see regularly, but in small doses.
Apart from this I have absolutely no social circle. And I am fine with that.



MjrMajorMajor
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08 Aug 2016, 4:57 pm

IDontGetIt wrote:
I find that the limited interaction I have with co-workers is pretty much the limit of what I can realistically deal with. It's nice to have people who I get to see regularly, but in small doses.
Apart from this I have absolutely no social circle. And I am fine with that.


I'm the same...coworkers and my immediate family are all I can handle.



HighLlama
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08 Aug 2016, 7:54 pm

Very similar. Coworkers tend to like me, and they form the bulk of my social interaction aside from any Meetup groups I do. Family likes to pretend I don't exist until they want someone to complain to. Friends and dates tend to disappear. Fortunately I have good coworkers.


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CyclopsSummers
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09 Aug 2016, 9:36 am

IDontGetIt wrote:
I find that the limited interaction I have with co-workers is pretty much the limit of what I can realistically deal with. It's nice to have people who I get to see regularly, but in small doses.
Apart from this I have absolutely no social circle. And I am fine with that.

Like MrMajorMajor, I can relate to this. Even though I miss friendships, I also find that I can only take social interaction in set doses now, and at the end of the work day I am glad that I have my "me"-time. I also experience much the same when interacting with people in my spare time for a couple of hours. It's like I have to blow off steam after a certain amount of being in the company of others.
HighLlama wrote:
Very similar. Coworkers tend to like me, and they form the bulk of my social interaction aside from any Meetup groups I do. Family likes to pretend I don't exist until they want someone to complain to. Friends and dates tend to disappear. Fortunately I have good coworkers.

I am also a member of meetup.com, and have joined several groups. Lately I've dialed down on the participation in events, but I do get a lot of enjoyment of it. If I may ask, are you hoping on establishing long-term friendships with the people you meet at Meetup events, or is it just to be around like-minded folks for a while and then go home again?


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TheZachadoodle
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09 Aug 2016, 9:54 am

I was told yesterday:

She told me in a public speaking class more so than not, she was given the most praise for speaking about how great Hitler was and on the same length as Mother Terressa. The entire class hate Hitler, but were more entertained by that.

Because it was not common raised advice.

In childhood people were told right things many times.

In adulthood people are told wrong things and edgy things.

So why do people like those types of people? It's like they show reality the clearest because they have been through it and see the perspectives that no one sees.

So to answer this question: yes, even neurotypicals.

Dyslexic people are on the exact same board as all of us as a reminder. I just watched a guy with dyslexia speak and he is having the exact same issues as us.

So to fix this is to pretty much like me, as I am about to stop doing, stop speaking right from wrong to people, but rather just talk to people casually.

That is it.

If you want further proof of how speaking right from wrong is an issue you can search up when I tried to speak to people about right from wrong and the amount of negative backlash I got.

Everyone is speculative as ever. You can not stop that. No matter what in life everyone is going to look like an as*hole. You can not stop it.

In fact another thing I have noticed is that even though you think you may have mad a reply on something and because the topic somewhat relates. People are still goi g to think you are insane.

Example: conversation about ford trucks. I then interject and give info on Ram trucks.

For a split second you may believe that the conversation is going to go somewhere, but it does not.

Instead those people speaking to me leave and give the middle finger, because I interjected and my point of relation was not clear.

Neurotypicals use the pathos and logos of the situation rather than being direct.

Their indirected social skills are based on this type of behavior:

The hear a tree falling and they say:

"I hope the cabin is alright."

You hear a tree falling you say:

"I hope those people are alright."

What you say sparks intense confusion and conflict as the next thing said is:

"Selfish as*hole!"

But that is only because no one period knows where the hell you are coming from.

Pathologically speaking indirectly is one thing and you need to know that when people speak pathologically indirectly the speak with the flow and sense of the situation.

That is all. You probably do not even fit in the flow and sense of the situation.



TheZachadoodle
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09 Aug 2016, 9:59 am

I rushed the writing on this by the way.

If anything casual conversations are only for entertainment not for telling right from wrong.

To clarify on the people statement: They thought you were refering to the group of people you are with. Not those in the cabin.

Had you said: I hope my dad and mom are alright.

Then the point would be across just as much.

Philip K. Dick got looked as retarded for his stories to remind you until the 1990s.



HighLlama
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09 Aug 2016, 8:30 pm

CyclopsSummers wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Very similar. Coworkers tend to like me, and they form the bulk of my social interaction aside from any Meetup groups I do. Family likes to pretend I don't exist until they want someone to complain to. Friends and dates tend to disappear. Fortunately I have good coworkers.

I am also a member of meetup.com, and have joined several groups. Lately I've dialed down on the participation in events, but I do get a lot of enjoyment of it. If I may ask, are you hoping on establishing long-term friendships with the people you meet at Meetup events, or is it just to be around like-minded folks for a while and then go home again?


I'm glad to be around like-minded folks and then go home, but hope for any long-term friendships or romantic relationships as a bonus.

My post was kind of bitchy, I think. Yesterday was not a good day :) Better now.


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Ichinin
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09 Aug 2016, 10:20 pm

Yes. Coworkers and a few consultants i've worked with for a few years are the people i talk to the most. My family comes second, and third my friends that actually bother to call or wants to be called by me.


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CyclopsSummers
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10 Aug 2016, 1:50 pm

HighLlama wrote:
I'm glad to be around like-minded folks and then go home, but hope for any long-term friendships or romantic relationships as a bonus.

My post was kind of bitchy, I think. Yesterday was not a good day :) Better now.

Perhaps it's because it's the interwebs, but I didn't at all pick up a 'bitchy' vibe from your post. Just an honest opinion, thanks for your input. :)


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