Losing streak continues
12 Aug 2016, 2:38 pm
This appeals to me today especially. Asked her out and she thought it was a joke, before she went on her way.
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
12 Aug 2016, 2:52 pm
20 people is not a very large sample size. You may want to increase the number of people you meet/ask out. Have you tried online dating or joining meetups?
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RetroGamer87
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12 Aug 2016, 10:09 pm
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13 Aug 2016, 3:31 am
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
I don't know that the problem really is a lack of women in your profession. I'm female and in a male dominated profession and it's done nothing for my romantic life. The funny thing is, once they get to know me, guys seem to really like me...but apparently I'm not their idea of someone they would date.
I'm sure there is someone out there that you are mutually compatible with, and attracted to, as I'm sure there is the same for me, but we just have to try harder than most people to find them.
The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Aug 2016, 4:18 pm
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
I don't know that the problem really is a lack of women in your profession. I'm female and in a male dominated profession and it's done nothing for my romantic life. The funny thing is, once they get to know me, guys seem to really like me...but apparently I'm not their idea of someone they would date.
I'm sure there is someone out there that you are mutually compatible with, and attracted to, as I'm sure there is the same for me, but we just have to try harder than most people to find them.
Your case doesn't prove that the lack of women in SHG_Cyclone1's profession is not a factor of his celibacy.
13 Aug 2016, 5:28 pm
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
I don't know that the problem really is a lack of women in your profession. I'm female and in a male dominated profession and it's done nothing for my romantic life. The funny thing is, once they get to know me, guys seem to really like me...but apparently I'm not their idea of someone they would date.
I'm sure there is someone out there that you are mutually compatible with, and attracted to, as I'm sure there is the same for me, but we just have to try harder than most people to find them.
Your case doesn't prove that the lack of women in SHG_Cyclone1's profession is not a factor of his celibacy.
The biggest positive predictor of whether or not two people will hook up is proximity, and perhaps his problem is that he does not have enough women in his proximity. But for people on the spectrum, since one of the hallmarks of our condition is clinically significant social delays, a person on the spectrum may not be able to harness as much potential from proximity as those who are not on the spectrum.
It is statistically strange that I have been around so many different men for so long, and zero of them have approached me, even though most of them who know me seem to think I'm a likable person.
Anyway though, the point of my comment was not to deter the OP. I merely wanted to point out that sometimes problems need to be solved starting from the inside.
Last edited by Chronos on 13 Aug 2016, 10:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
13 Aug 2016, 9:52 pm
This could just be a matter of semantics, but maybe what you're doing wrong is developing crushes. Perhaps you would do better if you did a more formal approach to dating, and leave the infatuation out of it. A dating website or speed dating give you access to single women who do want to date, and you don't need to feel the sting of rejection by someone you're crushing on. It's a numbers game, and you will probably develop some social skills by going through it.
Just a thought, and I could be wrong. The crushes I've had in my life were all unreasonable desires for someone definitely unattainable. So I never would have exposed myself to approach them romantically.
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13 Aug 2016, 10:14 pm
This could just be a matter of semantics, but maybe what you're doing wrong is developing crushes. Perhaps you would do better if you did a more formal approach to dating, and leave the infatuation out of it. A dating website or speed dating give you access to single women who do want to date, and you don't need to feel the sting of rejection by someone you're crushing on. It's a numbers game, and you will probably develop some social skills by going through it.
Just a thought, and I could be wrong. The crushes I've had in my life were all unreasonable desires for someone definitely unattainable. So I never would have exposed myself to approach them romantically.
I don't think it's bad to approach crushes. My dad approached his crush and she ended up marrying him.
14 Aug 2016, 3:07 am
Maybe this will make you feel better, but I'm definitely jealous of you. 
At least you've had the opportunity to meet and ask women out. It's hard to even describe the absolute void of women in my life. I honestly can't even remember the last time I was around an age appropriate, single woman I wanted to ask out.
The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2016, 10:47 am
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
I don't know that the problem really is a lack of women in your profession. I'm female and in a male dominated profession and it's done nothing for my romantic life. The funny thing is, once they get to know me, guys seem to really like me...but apparently I'm not their idea of someone they would date.
I'm sure there is someone out there that you are mutually compatible with, and attracted to, as I'm sure there is the same for me, but we just have to try harder than most people to find them.
Your case doesn't prove that the lack of women in SHG_Cyclone1's profession is not a factor of his celibacy.
The biggest positive predictor of whether or not two people will hook up is proximity, and perhaps his problem is that he does not have enough women in his proximity. But for people on the spectrum, since one of the hallmarks of our condition is clinically significant social delays, a person on the spectrum may not be able to harness as much potential from proximity as those who are not on the spectrum.
It is statistically strange that I have been around so many different men for so long, and zero of them have approached me, even though most of them who know me seem to think I'm a likable person.
Anyway though, the point of my comment was not to deter the OP. I merely wanted to point out that sometimes problems need to be solved starting from the inside.
Men will not approach you at all if you don't show interest in any of them.
15 Aug 2016, 5:40 pm
I've had some time to look at this and draw up some more information.
I live in a metro area with a population of about 24,000 people. Anything of greater proximity would involve much larger cities.
When I say 20 crushes in 20 years, 20 times there were these girls (later women) that would be extra kind to me, sometimes even flirt with me. I can even name them - and there have actually only been 16 of them: Amber, Sarah, Carly, Jennifer, Jenna, Sarah, Emily, Jennifer, Rachel, Jessy, Alicia, Lorie, Nicole, Kirsten, Melissa, Emily.
Throughout school days I kept seeing everyone else around me with girlfriends, and I really wanted one. My problem was/is still that I'm fixated on that one particular girl until I know for certain that it's time to move on - and that would usually come when they started a relationship with someone else.
Now, I COULD approach every single "single" girl who appeals to me and ask them (if I can't find a ring on their finger) - but this would propel me to perverted status, and I do not want that. There have been a couple of women at my gas station job that have caught my interest, but dating them won't bode well for the workplace.
I have never tried online dating. I do not understand the purpose of it, or how it works. Am I trying to impress a computer screen?
15 Aug 2016, 6:30 pm
No, you're trying to meet women with whom you don't have a previous crush, and go through experiences of introducing yourself, planning an engaging date (if they agree to go out at all), and going through the separation process when one or both of you feel there is no future. Do you see how these are good skills to have?
_________________
A finger in every pie.
15 Aug 2016, 9:00 pm
What just walked away was probably the 20th girl/woman I've had a crush on in the past 20 years (I am 35). I felt like, oh well, back to square one. The losing streak continues.
I've tried to live life as happy as I could possibly get it to be. I have a professional career that I love, and (their words) am considered one of the best in my area at. However, it's such a dry profession where there's literally no woman out there. I also hold a smaller job at a gas station, working with a group of younger people who act like drama mamas and openly talk about the most recent time they've smoked leaves. Lots of riffraff comes in, and that's really the only way I get to meet new people. Needless to say, the single ladies that come in are simply worlds apart from me. Had a crush on a couple of them before knowing that they'd never work.
I'm trying desperately to get out of that negative atmosphere, but worried that the window of meeting different people is going to run dry. I don't get to meet a lot of women (single women) in my professional profession. I know I must be compatible to someone along my wavelength in order to sustain happiness, rather than try with someone who is worlds apart.
I don't know that the problem really is a lack of women in your profession. I'm female and in a male dominated profession and it's done nothing for my romantic life. The funny thing is, once they get to know me, guys seem to really like me...but apparently I'm not their idea of someone they would date.
I'm sure there is someone out there that you are mutually compatible with, and attracted to, as I'm sure there is the same for me, but we just have to try harder than most people to find them.
Your case doesn't prove that the lack of women in SHG_Cyclone1's profession is not a factor of his celibacy.
The biggest positive predictor of whether or not two people will hook up is proximity, and perhaps his problem is that he does not have enough women in his proximity. But for people on the spectrum, since one of the hallmarks of our condition is clinically significant social delays, a person on the spectrum may not be able to harness as much potential from proximity as those who are not on the spectrum.
It is statistically strange that I have been around so many different men for so long, and zero of them have approached me, even though most of them who know me seem to think I'm a likable person.
Anyway though, the point of my comment was not to deter the OP. I merely wanted to point out that sometimes problems need to be solved starting from the inside.
Men will not approach you at all if you don't show interest in any of them.
I believe there are men who approach women they are interested in without any communication of interest from her. However these men do not approach me, and men I show interest in do not approach me, and the ones I've approached were not interested.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
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