What do you do when you date a guy

Page 1 of 5 [ 73 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Gabrielle
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 63

07 May 2007, 1:23 am

I am always having trouble in relationships with boyfriends I've had in the past. What is acceptable to do when you are dating and what are the things you are not aloud to do



Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

07 May 2007, 1:47 am

Uhm.............hmm.

There are no rules in dating. that's a first.

so do what feels natural to you. do however go over some ground rules....I.E: no sleeping together until you both feel comfortable, and no sexual relations with each other til you feel comfortable.


_________________
I want peace for all. Simple yet elegant.


Gabrielle
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 63

07 May 2007, 2:07 am

I still don't quite know what to do. I got a boyfriend at the moment and sometimes we don't know what to do he got AS as well as me. i like him and all that but never can express emotions probably. i get scared cause i don't want to put myself in danger but i know he not that type of person to do that
what do you suggest



calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

07 May 2007, 6:22 am

If he is an aspie as well, I would suggest being as
open with your feelings and thoughts with one another
as you possibly can - actually, I would advise being
even MORE honest than you can, but I guess that's
impossible; you should get my meaning in adding that
though.



Sedaka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,597
Location: In the recesses of my mind

07 May 2007, 9:56 am

what interests do you both share?

and... ask about his other interests and show your own interest/acceptance of his interests even if they dont interest you very much

i like online games too.... i suggest WoW lol


_________________
Neuroscience PhD student

got free science papers?

www.pubmed.gov
www.sciencedirect.com
http://highwire.stanford.edu/lists/freeart.dtl


Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

07 May 2007, 10:44 am

WOW?

ARE YOU CRAZY???????

NO. Nada. Bad idea. WOW in a relationship? World of Warcraft is evil.


_________________
I want peace for all. Simple yet elegant.


jkrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 737
Location: 39uqlksdj3ujadlskd

08 May 2007, 8:55 am

you should be really relaxed, and engage in a little physical contact (i.e. touching, kissing, whatever)

you should be very clear on what your expectations are, don't play mind games.



Gabrielle
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 63

09 May 2007, 6:25 pm

Oh my gosh i would never use whichcraft on anyone or use it for a fct i'm a christian. you just don't do that sort of stuff.

anyway thanks for your input. but what if you know your own feelings anyway like regonising if it is lust or love



Acerimmer1
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 70

09 May 2007, 8:28 pm

Gabrielle wrote:
I am always having trouble in relationships with boyfriends I've had in the past. What is acceptable to do when you are dating and what are the things you are not aloud to do


Is there anything that you can think of that you would like to do?

There's no point considering doing anything neither of you want to do. So it doesn't really matter if those things are acceptable or not.



calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

09 May 2007, 9:42 pm

Gabrielle wrote:
Oh my gosh i would never use whichcraft on anyone or use it for a fct i'm a christian. you just don't do that sort of stuff.

anyway thanks for your input. but what if you know your own feelings anyway like regonising if it is lust or love


Wow. How did this get in here?

Anyhow, I would strongly suggest against using
magick on anyone for love. My experience has been
that (with rituals at least - not the wild magick which
we all possess) it ALWAYS backfires.



alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,214
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

09 May 2007, 9:52 pm

Gabrielle wrote:
Oh my gosh i would never use whichcraft on anyone or use it for a fct i'm a christian. you just don't do that sort of stuff.

anyway thanks for your input. but what if you know your own feelings anyway like regonising if it is lust or love


is this a joke? wow is an mmorpg


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

09 May 2007, 11:04 pm

alex wrote:
Gabrielle wrote:
Oh my gosh i would never use whichcraft on anyone or use it for a fct i'm a christian. you just don't do that sort of stuff.

anyway thanks for your input. but what if you know your own feelings anyway like regonising if it is lust or love


is this a joke? wow is an mmorpg


yeah...confused here. how did world o warcraft become whichcraft and using magic to make people fall in love...kinda confused here.


_________________
I want peace for all. Simple yet elegant.


calandale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,439

10 May 2007, 1:30 am

Maybe she was reading my mind?

Actually, I suspect that the EVIL statement
about WOW might have triggered it somehow.



pbcoll
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: the City of Palaces

10 May 2007, 1:02 pm

As a man, I think it's really important that you don't assume/expect that he will just know - say what you want or how you feel. He may really care but not be able to know what you want / how you feel. From personal experience, if you were to keep things to yourself you could make him feel a lack of trust.
Apart from that, I don't think there's anything general to say - even within one age group and culture people will have all sorts of different expectations, wishes, etc so what is acceptable will depend on you and him.


_________________
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka)

El hombre es una bestia famélica, envidiosa e insaciable. (Francisco Tario)

I'm male by the way (yes, I know my avatar is misleading).


Gabrielle
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 63

10 May 2007, 9:50 pm

yeah hey sorry for the confused i must of got confused my self and read some thing wrong i didn't mean for all you people to get confused.

:oops: i'm embarssed now. l :? very

but how do you know what the other person wants in a retationship. i think i don't knmow mt own feels or some thing like that what do you guys thing



madscientist
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 193
Location: Across the 8th Dimension...

10 May 2007, 10:02 pm

Well, as a man I can attest to the fact that it can be a real challenge figuring out what women want, and that's even without AS involved! Plus, in my opinion, one of the difficulties in emotional relationships is that needs and wants are not static but can be extremely fluid over time. Add to that the fact that most of us aren't completely sure what WE want in a relationship and you have a conundrum, wrapped in an enigma, blah, blah, blah...

Communication, as all the "experts" will tell you, is the key. Which would seem to be easier for aspies since we like to be direct and honest. But it doesn't seem to be. All you can do is try and let him know the things that make YOU happy and you would be interested in doing on a date, and ask him to be open with you as well. There are the classic events, like movies, dining out, sporting events, museums, concerts, which are usually "safe" and are things that most people at least won't DISlike, but once the relationship starts to develop more you'll want to find things you both enjoy, be it golf, sailing, reading to each other, rebuilding carberators or debugging C++ code. As to the physical side that someone mentioned above, well, guys will always want that (and most girls too even if they aren't supposed to admit it), but it's best not to rush things.

Just my $0.02 worth...


_________________
Scientia est Potentia