What makes a girl approachable?

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DevilKisses
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23 Aug 2016, 11:53 am

I'm just curious what makes girls seem approachable and what makes them unapproachable.


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whatamievendoing
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23 Aug 2016, 12:15 pm

Whether she has a great personality or not.
Whether she's interesting or not.
Whether she's brave/intelligent enough to take initiative or not.

If two out of the three points above are a "yes", I'd consider her approachable.


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Hopper
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23 Aug 2016, 12:42 pm

I'm treating 'approachable' as distinct from attrractive. If I find a woman attractive, it's axiomatic she'll be approachable. So this is how I judge people - men and women - to be approachable or not.

Mature.
Not stupid.
Not snooty/stuck-up.
A shared sense of humour.
Similar cultural interests.
And plain friendly.

I think much of this would be judged from body language/deportment, and observation of interaction with others.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Aug 2016, 2:14 pm

- Don't put earphones 100% of the time when you're doing activities such as gym, joggling, ...etc

No decent guy would bother and approach a girl if earphones/headset are glued to her ears, because he would assume she's listening to music and doesn't want to be bothered.

- Don't send voice messages to your girlfriends on whatsapp 100% of the time.

No decent guy would interrupt a girl voice-chatting on whatsapp.

and of course:
- Don't talk on your mobile phone all the time, for the same reason above.


Note: Rude guys would bother you anyway, so it's not really a good filtering method, ladies - if that's your intention.


Side funny story: I have once met up with a girl through Okcupid, and she turned out to be a member at my gym, she was always used to put big red headphones when she's there - 100% of the time.
When she found out I am a member there she was like "So why did you approach me on Okcupid and never did so at the gym before?".
And so I was like "You put headphones all the time"- and she was like "And so what? Poke me." .....seriously! :roll:

This is a big lack of common sense.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 Aug 2016, 2:23 pm, edited 4 times in total.

kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2016, 2:15 pm

A woman who is approachable has a little smile on her face, always.

If a woman has a frown, and keeps her head down, then she's pretty unapproachable--unless somebody wants to take advantage of her. You have guys who take advantage of the vulnerable.



Spiderpig
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23 Aug 2016, 4:02 pm

You all seem to have an interesting perspective. Amusingly enough, it’s more or less the exact opposite of mine.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she has a great personality or not.


If she has a great personality, she’ll know she can aim much higher than me and won’t be shy to do it, so not approachable.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she's interesting or not.


If she’s interesting, she’ll want someone interesting, too, so not approachable.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she's brave/intelligent enough to take initiative or not.


The braver she is, the less she’ll hesitate to tell me to bugger off, so not approachable. The more intelligent she is, the more effective she’ll be at making her rejection painful and humiliating in order to teach me an embarrassing lesson about leaving women the hell alone, so not approachable by any means.

whatamievendoing wrote:
If two out of the three points above are a "yes", I'd consider her approachable.


The more “yes” answers, the less approachable she seems to me; the more “no” ones, the more I’d feel like I’m taking advantage of her if I were to approach her. In short, approaching her will never seem a good idea.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Aug 2016, 4:18 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
You all seem to have an interesting perspective. Amusingly enough, it’s more or less the exact opposite of mine.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she has a great personality or not.


If she has a great personality, she’ll know she can aim much higher than me and won’t be shy to do it, so not approachable.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she's interesting or not.


If she’s interesting, she’ll want someone interesting, too, so not approachable.

whatamievendoing wrote:
Whether she's brave/intelligent enough to take initiative or not.


The braver she is, the less she’ll hesitate to tell me to bugger off, so not approachable. The more intelligent she is, the more effective she’ll be at making her rejection painful and humiliating in order to teach me an embarrassing lesson about leaving women the hell alone, so not approachable by any means.

whatamievendoing wrote:
If two out of the three points above are a "yes", I'd consider her approachable.


The more “yes” answers, the less approachable she seems to me; the more “no” ones, the more I’d feel like I’m taking advantage of her if I were to approach her. In short, approaching her will never seem a good idea.


You are nihilism incarnate.



Spiderpig
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23 Aug 2016, 5:00 pm

I’m not even educated enough to know what that means.


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Sabreclaw
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23 Aug 2016, 5:13 pm

I'm really socially awkward so I don't approach anybody anyway, but in theory approachability would be best achieved with a sense of friendliness and openness.

Boo and Kraftiekortie's ideas seem pretty solid. Though, if you have to force a smile you might look like a weirdo.
People would have to approach you first before they can judge things like

Hopper wrote:
Mature.
Not stupid.
Not snooty/stuck-up.
A shared sense of humour.
Similar cultural interests.
And plain friendly.


They could observe some of that from a distance, but it really depends on what kind of setting you're in. Best bet is to nail the appearance before getting into more specific details.



Sabreclaw
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23 Aug 2016, 5:14 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I’m not even educated enough to know what that means.


It means Boo doesn't like you.



kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2016, 5:18 pm

Boo believes you believe in nothing--

which isn't true--because believing in nothing is actually believing in something.

One way to make myself unapproachable: not taking a shower for three days.



Sabreclaw
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23 Aug 2016, 5:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Boo believes you believe in nothing--

which isn't true--because believing in nothing is actually believing in something.


No it's not. That's just being a smartass with definitions.



kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2016, 5:32 pm

Let me tell you the best way to get girls: Lighten up the mood.

Sometimes, we have to leave our philosophical Ivory Tower, and come down and smell the roses.

I know I have to tell myself this sometimes.



Sabreclaw
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23 Aug 2016, 5:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Let me tell you the best way to get girls: Lighten up the mood.

Sometimes, we have to leave our philosophical Ivory Tower, and come down and smell the roses.

I know I have to tell myself this sometimes.


There's more to nihilism than just that anyway. But Boo was clearly using it in a derogatory manner, so the real meaning doesn't matter.



kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2016, 5:47 pm

He was just pulling somebody's leg.

I used to react to kids teasing me with bad temper tantrums.

I had to learn that the kids were just trying to pull my leg.



mariakatosvich
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31 Aug 2016, 5:04 am

so it's not really a good filtering method, ladies - if that's your intention.
Thanks
HMRC


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