Aspie Men: Have you ever been mistaken for a predator?

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I'm 30 years old and male, so that means I'm "not allowed" to go see movies like Zootopia or Ice Age, because every time I do, I get stared-down by anyone with kids. One woman spent over an hour just plain staring at me when I went to go see Ice Age: Collision Course. I went with my Grandmother, so I was obviously a danger to her kids, I guess. I don't alter my behavior anymore. It's NOT my responsibility to make someone so fragile that they're terrified of a 30 year old man going out with his Grandma feel safe. NOT my responsibility at all.

That's why I volunteered. I knew it was going to hurt him, but I wanted him to have a clear understanding of what was going on. I hope he heard me and thought about modifying his behavior. I have no idea if he did. He had worked his way through several groups. One of them actually disbanded because everyone was scarred to talk to him or to create boundaries.

There's a real eye-gaze issue with women. If you look at them too long, NTs mean that to be a threat. Or they mean it to be sexual. Its never neutral to stare at a woman, especially at her breasts. Never. So, timing the eye gaze when you want to look interested but not in love or angry is a really important skill. There are books written on this stuff. And you can study TV. Just make sure you also watch TV scenes that are not romantic so that you get the difference.

And remember, this dude actually followed a woman and moved in to kiss her without permission. So, this isn't just someone who is looking strange. He actually acted in a way that could be seen as criminal. Personally, I don't think he was acting with criminal intent. I think he's autistic and he really thought that a woman letting him walk her to his car means that its OK to kiss her. (It's not BTW. Since I don't do body language well, I really find its best to simply ask "can I kiss you?" I find asking works brilliantly. Women who are into it find it charming.)

Some people think I was being mean to this guy. But I think that the mean thing would have been to let things spiral until someone called the police. Who knows? Maybe there was a better way of going about things. But this was the best I could do. He was given a chance, BTW, between talking to him and removing him. He was given a chance to come again and not push Veggie Heaven and not to assume anyone was his girlfriend. (I totally forgot! He also was targeting specific women after these groups for emails. And if the woman corresponded with him, he assumed that they were dating. That's what was behind the kissing incident. He assumed because she responded to his emails that they were dating. And he had assumed that someone was his girlfriend at least three times, because of completely unsexual email conversations.)