Acceptable Age Gap?
In what ways do you not feel your age? Also, what constitutes a life experience for you?
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I was 7 years older than my wife. We met met when I was 30 and she 22. There was a bit of a cultural gap but that never was a big problem for us. The marriage ended but not because of the age difference. Before meeting her I had dated a woman 6 years older than I am, and I think age was a factor for me in our breakup.
I can't say though that I ever had a definite mindset or plan that I would marry someone older or younger by a set number or years.
I don't think at my current age (23) I'd be comfortable dating anyone more than 2 years younger or 5 years older. I say less years younger because I'd feel uncomfortable dating someone in their teens or who wasn't legally of age in every way too.
My current boyfriend is almost a year younger than me. He's turning 23 in late November, I turn 24 in early February.
As for older people, you tend to lack things in common in terms of interests, you're often at different stages of your life, and I just feel weird about dating people who are significantly older. Honestly I'd say three years in most cases, 5 only for special cases.
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nick007
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My 1st girlfriend was 15 when I was 20 & my 2nd girlfriend was 19 when I was about 28 but she was also on the spectrum. I feel immature compared to people my own age & I like to be supportive within a relationship. I never really cared about age when searching for a partner but I did NOT want someone who would act like a mother with me. Even thou I was older my 2nd girlfriend took charge of the relationship & acted like I wasn't as smart as her when it came to making decisions. i was worried that someone older would be more likely to treat me like a child. My current girlfriend is alittle over 4 months older than me & things are pretty equal within our relationship.
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Northeastern292
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RetroGamer87
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A positive attitude does as well.
You should know, RG: You would have been happy with spending the rest of your life sitting at home playing video games if it weren't for the fact most women want a man with his sh•t together past age 25.
If you were age 30, and were the same person you were at 18 and were happy this way, you would have had a 'positive attitude'.
Sometimes a 'positive attitude' means blind happiness.
We should always be questioning ourselves and looking for ways to challenge and improve ourselves.
Most people are happy to remain in their comfort zones, it is only when we challenge ourselves that we find success.
And, yes, challenging ourselves can definitely result in times of frustration, depression and stress where we make little to no progress and aren't achieving what we desire fast enough or as much as we wanted to.
At least Sly recognizes there is a problem/he does not currently enjoy his life.
Whether or not he has tried to (or is capable of) making changes is another matter.
Sometimes it's not that one can't change because they don't try, but because outside forces are against them too much.
RetroGamer87
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^ I don't know what would make me happy. Early this afternoon I felt happy for no reason. late this afternoon I felt unhappy for no reason. I keep on trying to think of ways to control this but they never work. I keep on trying to work out the cause of this so I can replicate it but correlation doesn't imply causation.
Anyway I'm not saying we should be blindly happy. I'm extremely pessamistic. All I'm saying is that it really helps to pretend to be positive around girls. I spend as much time feeling sorry for myself as the rest of us do but I don't do it around girls because I know what they'd think of that.
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I am going die alone. Life only gets worse and worse for me. No woman wants a permanently disabled ugly guy on min wage who's playful
I'm not around girls this is the one and only place I can be me and not hide my emotions.
I have to fake being happy at work and on dating sites I refuse to here this is a support site.
Reality is im alone forever If I was going meet someone my best chances were when I was 16-25 it's just gets worse and worse as I get older not better. My life might been ok for a 18 old man but 30 plus men are expected to have their life together i.e. Good job, car own place etc. women don't want a child in a mans body as they say
AspergianMutantt
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RetroGamer87
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I am going die alone. Life only gets worse and worse for me. No woman wants a permanently disabled ugly guy on min wage who's playful
I have to fake being happy at work and on dating sites I refuse to here this is a support site.
Reality is im alone forever If I was going meet someone my best chances were when I was 16-25 it's just gets worse and worse as I get older not better. My life might been ok for a 18 old man but 30 plus men are expected to have their life together i.e. Good job, car own place etc. women don't want a child in a mans body as they say
Look at me, I spent most of the years from 16 to 25 as an unemployed, uneducable, obese, dateless loser. Look how I've changed. If I can do it, you can do it to. You are now older and wiser than you've ever been before.
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Sweetleaf
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I don't think 5-6 years is that terrible of an age difference, I know for a while on okcupid I specified looking for guys from like 21-26 and I was 26. However did not have much luck at all so I increased it to 30 and well sure enough I met my boyfriend. I don't know why people would tell you that is weird, I mean I think peoples maturity about different things can vary regardless of age. I know I've always felt a bit more mature in some ways than people in my age, so that is why I decided to expand my age range of what I was looking for.
Perhaps you would hit it off with someone a few years older....though obviously not the ones who think a 5-6 year difference makes them too old for you.
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Anyway I'm not saying we should be blindly happy. I'm extremely pessamistic. All I'm saying is that it really helps to pretend to be positive around girls. I spend as much time feeling sorry for myself as the rest of us do but I don't do it around girls because I know what they'd think of that.
But apparently that's 'dishonest', 'manipulative' and 'being something you are not'.
People demand an honest partner and one who 'be's themselves' and not one who 'pretends to be something they are not' but don't want a negative person.
I'm one to talk because I don't want to date super depressed girls, but I'm definitely far more realist ('pessimist' to most people) that it would probably hurt my chances.
Seriously.
Some people are naturally negative and actually enjoy or are content with being this way.
But the world seems to have no room for negative people and constantly wants to push everyone to be 'positive' and 'happy' and a good little worker.
Some people can only be something they are not when they decide to be positive.
Here, just take a look at this example videos. This isn't exactly about positive vs. negative, it's a little different.
It's about relaxed/monotonous sort of voice and mannerisms and behavior vs happy, open, extraverted, etc.
The first video is what the Youtuber Andrew Hails is normally like when he is being himself:
This second video is when he decides to put on 'the act':
Uncanny valley anyone?
I'm naturally very calm, relaxed and laidback. I'm definitely a lot like him, except for more 'open' body language (I don't constantly stand with hands in pockets and arms so close together, etc.) and instead of sounding cold and dead, my voice sounds like a more 'relaxed' monotone.
I could put on the happy sounding energetic extravert act with more emotion in his voice, but it would probably be just like Andrew Hails doing it.