Aspergers but good at reading people. Intense world theory

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You mean always talking about other people's behaviour and what it 'must' mean, and often when it seems really unimportant?

If so, I do often find this annoying too. As if people really knew what people were thinking, they wouldn't be judgemental towards them because they would fully understand their behaviour, and people are always being judgemental - which is a perfectly normal normal human flaw, but yeah, that annoys me.

Stalactite, this is to me one of the most interesting discussions I have seen. As a parent I started a different discussion thread, asking about empathy. I learnt so much from it, not just about my son and confirming some of my feelings - intuitions - about him, but about myself too. from curiosity I then did an Aspergers test myself, and it seems i'm half Aspie myself, and half NT ..

Like others here, I also can't watch the news, I seem to feel other people's pain and it stays with me. I feel more empathy than is usual, this is obvious. I know that I'm a very good reader of people's intentions and feelings. I can often tell what people really feel about me and my children, or what's going on in their relationships. People usually respond well to me, probably feeling understood and identified with, especially those with different views or wacky ideas, as all i care about is genuinity and kindness. Conformist, competitive people, and people I feel are being false, don't usually like me .. I think I do not hide well that I think they are exaggerating, or lying (if I think they are hurting others I will often break my rule of silence and say something about it)

So, I relate a lot to people, but I desperately need a lot of 'down-time', alone, and that's because relating on the level i do, is very, very intense for me (hello Intense World Theory!) I've likened it to having other people suck the life-energy from me, i know it sounds dramatic but that's how it feels. Children are attracted to me like a magnet, which is weird because I'm so shy. A close friend said to me about this 'you have a gift' and when I reacted really puzzled she said 'I think it's because they know you're REAL'. it's true, i relate to children well because they don't hide how they feel, and they tell the truth. And i guess i am like that too, only I often stay silent as i know what I say might hurt people as it's too scary for them, things they have hidden deeply and wouldn't even recognise to themselves.

Ok, so my view.. basically what has already been pointed out in this discussion. It is not those on the spectrum who are feeling things wrong, it is the rest who have their heads in the sand.. they've learnt to be relatively unfeeling, they've successfully imbued the message that nothing really deeply matters, nothing can make you truly FEEL, life is just a drawn out competitive goal-orientated struggle, till you die. Perhaps on their death-beds or when put into a home, those people who never asked that childish question 'why?' might finally ask it.

I do ask why, constantly! I think the world needs change urgently.

I think the world needs Aspergers (autistic.. on the spectrum, etc...) people more than ever before. It is because we need non-conformists, questioners, super empathisers (not just with people but with the world around us), more than ever. Only I feel bad for those people as I see how much feeling things deeply makes you suffer.

House in the woods. That's my private wish too, how I understand you.
I think it most natural to not understand most people's choices, actions and beliefs. They are not seeing things clearly, they're the ones who need a crash-course in reality! I mean real, beautiful, true, wonderful reality, not the second-rate ugly, deceitful and destructive one that's sold to us as inevitable (though it is not). If all people saw and felt so clearly, and so much, they would not act as they do.

Children ask these questions:
-why is there war?
-why do people make guns?
- why are people poor? why don't they have enough food? can't we give them some?
- why do they kill the animals?
-why do people throw rubbish around?
and (if they're my children, anyway) - mummy, why didn't you give that man any money, didn't you see he was asking for some?

and the grown ups laugh indulgently and say isn't that sweet, but rest assured they'll soon learn about the real world, and about proper priorities.. like fitting in, making money, and looking after their own interests. Right.

I realise I sound all activist, sorry but I do tend to get carried away!! Anyway I believe in passive activism, i.e. just being yourself. I get all impassioned, though.. that's happening a lot recently, i think on behalf of my son and because it struck me so much he was being deeply, deeply misunderstood. I think what he has is a gift, a terrible (in terms of potential suffering) but also a beautiful and precious one, this intense feeling of everything he experiences in life and obviously very highly developed empathy.. also total inability to understand or process hurtful, controlling, manipulative and deceitful behaviour of others. Sounds familiar?

I know this thread is very old, but I wanted to express my gratitude for the contributions made to this discussion. It is really helpful, thank you.

Same here