Black and white thinking and other examples of Asperger's

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MsTriste
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07 May 2007, 11:09 pm

I am having a black and white moment. I am finding that the creation of this wonderful new forum-within-a-forum is stirring up upset feelings. I don't like a number of things, starting with the name and description of the forum, plus at least one member refuses to come here, and then there're the people upset by the deletion of the men's forum (wtf?)

So in my black/white thinking, I will just reside in this forum and not make any posts or read any other forums outside of our cozy little discussion area. Stupid, yeah? At least I'm starting to see why I do things. Maybe tomorrow I'll venture out, but today at least my brain is telling me it's only safe in here.

Any other examples of black and white thinking or other AS things come to mind for the rest of you?



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07 May 2007, 11:15 pm

aylissa wrote:
I am having a black and white moment. I am finding that the creation of this wonderful new forum-within-a-forum is stirring up upset feelings. I don't like a number of things, starting with the name and description of the forum, plus at least one member refuses to come here, and then there're the people upset by the deletion of the men's forum (wtf?)

So in my black/white thinking, I will just reside in this forum and not make any posts or read any other forums outside of our cozy little discussion area. Stupid, yeah? At least I'm starting to see why I do things. Maybe tomorrow I'll venture out, but today at least my brain is telling me it's only safe in here.

Any other examples of black and white thinking or other AS things come to mind for the rest of you?


Change scares some.

I didn't like the term "In-depth"...reminds me when your partner says "we need to talk about our relationship"...

but I got over it. I don't even see the title now, I just click in and if nothing grabs me...off I go.



MsTriste
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07 May 2007, 11:34 pm

OMG
I think that may be an aspie thing:
Hearing "We need to talk..." or "Can we sit down..." puts me in utter panic mode.



Postperson
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07 May 2007, 11:49 pm

dunno if it's black and white thinking so much as perfectionism. 'near enough is good enough' is a useful type of NT thinking. i've had to adopt it.

i don't see any problem. most forum names or titles are less than perfect, it's just where you go to post and you forget about the title. it's snobbery on the part of those who don't want to come here. let them be snobs, who cares?

it's just another internet forum, i've seen a lot of changes to categories on other forums too. as the membership expands, people have different requirements.



Last edited by Postperson on 07 May 2007, 11:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

earthdweller
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07 May 2007, 11:54 pm

Scientifically speaking.. We are growing mold in here. You know - don't you? (M)old.

I think that I stole this idea from an artwork college.

But we are all in this place, talking mold so hail the church of slime.

There's slime falling off the ceiling and is that what we are doing?



MsTriste
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08 May 2007, 12:53 am

Postperson wrote:
let them be snobs, who cares?

it's just another internet forum, i've seen a lot of changes to categories on other forums too. as the membership expands, people have different requirements.


Of course you're right, and I know that. But knowing that doesn't help much. I have theory of mind issues that I can't even begin to go into because I'll start feeling like a sociopath.



Eclair
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08 May 2007, 12:54 am

aylissa wrote:
OMG
I think that may be an aspie thing:
Hearing "We need to talk..." or "Can we sit down..." puts me in utter panic mode.


Yep, I start flowcharting in my mind all the possible things that will be discussed....frigging scary!



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08 May 2007, 1:01 am

earthdweller wrote:
Scientifically speaking.. We are growing mold in here. You know - don't you? (M)old.

I think that I stole this idea from an artwork college.

But we are all in this place, talking mold so hail the church of slime.

There's slime falling off the ceiling and is that what we are doing?



this is very apt too

god, we ARE deep!



08 May 2007, 2:02 am

I have troubles seeing the gray areas. They have to be pointed out to me.



Tim_Tex
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08 May 2007, 2:02 am

I am not nearly as black and white as I used to be.

Tim


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08 May 2007, 2:24 am

aylissa wrote:
I am having a black and white moment. I am finding that the creation of this wonderful new forum-within-a-forum is stirring up upset feelings. I don't like a number of things, starting with the name and description of the forum, plus at least one member refuses to come here, and then there're the people upset by the deletion of the men's forum (wtf?)

So in my black/white thinking, I will just reside in this forum and not make any posts or read any other forums outside of our cozy little discussion area. Stupid, yeah? At least I'm starting to see why I do things. Maybe tomorrow I'll venture out, but today at least my brain is telling me it's only safe in here.

Any other examples of black and white thinking or other AS things come to mind for the rest of you?


There was a contest in my school, to make a poster.
The deadline was 1 day ago. Today the winners would be announced.

It turned out the deadline changed, I was the only one who finished on time,
and handed everything. The winners were ones who finished 1 day later...

I got upset because of this, this was a contest, there was a deadline.
What about responsability? What about fairness?

People told me to forget about it, that "life sucks", and that "deadlines change
in real life (jobs)"


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08 May 2007, 3:12 am

likedcalico wrote:
I have troubles seeing the gray areas. They have to be pointed out to me.


There are gray areas?



Danielismyname
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08 May 2007, 5:40 am

To reiterate: I cannot choose between black and white. I see both and they both mean nothing to me in the same way that they both mean everything to me.

Too much thought or not enough thought....



shadexiii
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08 May 2007, 5:42 am

Danielismyname wrote:
To reiterate: I cannot choose between black and white. I see both and they both mean nothing to me in the same way that they both mean everything to me.

Too much thought or not enough thought....


The answer is yes....and no. :P

There is no real "correct" answer. If one of the options feels "right," just go with it. If not, take some more time. This is a forum, there's no real rush.

As for outside of this.... I got nothing.



Last edited by shadexiii on 08 May 2007, 5:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

sinsboldly
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08 May 2007, 5:56 am

computerlove wrote:

There was a contest in my school, to make a poster.
The deadline was 1 day ago. Today the winners would be announced.

It turned out the deadline changed, I was the only one who finished on time,
and handed everything. The winners were ones who finished 1 day later...

I got upset because of this, this was a contest, there was a deadline.
What about responsability? What about fairness?

People told me to forget about it, that "life sucks", and that "deadlines change
in real life (jobs)"


They had a costume contest at work for Halloween, they would judge on funniest, and scariest
so I spent hours and hours making a huge wearable plastic package of spinach with clear shower curtains and painting the logo and package UPC code etc BACKWARDS so when I put it on it was all smooth on the outside, just like the fresh spinich package ( it was POPEYES fresh spinach and it was PERFECT!

I made 'honorable mention' simply because they decided they didn't want to use the criteria and didn't have the CATAGORIES they advertized for. They just gave it for what the panel thought was the best. I was so bummed because my costume made no sense without 'funniest and most scary ( they had recalled fresh spinach for botulism just weeks earlier)

and somehow it was implied that _I_ was over reacting because 'this was just for fun!"

I am glad I am not NT, but if I WERE NT, this stuff would not bother me

Merle



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08 May 2007, 6:40 am

Does anyone have multiple layers of black and white? Like between good and bad evaluations of people. I know I cannot talk to certain people as they are "bad". They will attack me or ridicule or whatever. Unless they are in a certain mood, in which case, the "bad" is removed and they are once again "good" and then I will talk to them. This is, according to NT logic, "bad".

I can like certain aspects of people. When those people are discussing those aspects, I might be interested or find them funny or something else that is a good thing. But otherwise, I would not want to talk to them, because of all the "bad" stuff.

I HAVE to make the assessment of good/bad. It's a safety thing. I need to know if they are trustworthy. And most people aren't.

But so many things are interesting to me. I was just on the other site, and they said I was trolling. Nope. It's called "I was interested in multiple parts of a discussion and asked many questions."

I got kicked out of the group for?:
1. Posting too many posts
2. Posting long posts
3. Posting too many long posts
4. Asking too many questions
5. All of the above?

No idea. It was just one thread. And there were many points that were brought up and things I didn't know about. It's all NT people. And me. They swear a lot and I don't. They talk about illegal drug stuff and I don't even know the terms, so I asked questions about them. They talk about a lot of things, and even though they SAY in the description that everyone is welcome. And recently the moderator posted that EVERYONE should post! I still got in trouble.

I cannot communicate with those people. They don't understand the depth of thought at all. Since they do not experience it, they label it as trolling. I guess they just don't have questions??? Is that it?

I'm getting to the point where I am starting to label all NTs as "bad".