Is this a common trait amongst aspie men?

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From what I can see here, it's not a common trait. If I was attracted to someone who was already in a relationship (it's yet to happen), I'd let it be and move on.

Perhaps your friend has seen you go after enough women who are already in relationships as to suspect it's a thing you like to do.

I'm sure it's not common because it's a ridiculous trait to have.

Is there a certain way to know if a woman is in a relationship besides just flat-out asking her?

Yes, they will usually tell you very quickly in a subtle way: usually by casually mentioning it. Of course, I was oblivious to subtleties!

In general it's much easier for autistic and NT women alike to get relationships

I cannot say I have ever done that and nor do I intend to. Without wanting to seem too sanctimonious, to pursue a woman (or man for that matter) who is already in a relationship seems wrong to me.

NT females probably have an easier time getting relationships than those of us on the spectrum, like NT males probably generally have an easier time than guys on the spectrum.

I think that is more accurate.

It's a really good way to get the s**t kicked out of you mercilessly... just saying. Seriously you better learn, for your own sake to control that.

Unless you want to become enemies with her boyfriend, then I'd say you should probably listen to your friend.

And you should also respect her if she says no or not, because she means it.

No to what?

Your desire to be her boyfriend.

Yes but it would be morally wrong to attempt to ask her out since she would be in a long term relationship.

So...if you know that....then what's the fuss?

If it's only thoughts, and you don't act on them, there's nothing wrong with them.

As long as you don't act on your thoughts.

Give me an example of acting on a thought?

You can think about talking to a girl.....but you might not act on talking to the girl.

Jamesy, you say in your OP that you are "chasing after" these women. So only you can tell us if you're actually doing something or just thinking about them. Examples of doing something would be flirting with her, asking her out, hitting on her etc

If you know it's inappropriate (and potentially dangerous) and you're not actually doing anything, then indeed what is all the fuss about?