Is this a common trait amongst aspie men?

Page 3 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

16 Sep 2016, 1:17 am

Jamesy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


Why do you think it is appropriate to pursue someone in a relationship? I sure hope it is not a common trait...but yeah if it is something you're thinking about doing I'd advise stopping while you are ahead.




I don't think it's appropriate but my emotions get the better of me sometimes


If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you. A cheater is a cheater.



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

16 Sep 2016, 12:34 pm

Chronos wrote:
If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you. A cheater is a cheater.

Such obvious truth but few really stop to consider it. You could add in that if (s)he badmouths exs/dates/crushes, etc guess who is going to be the next person thrown through the mud??



morugin
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 28 Aug 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 33

17 Sep 2016, 3:53 pm

Bushmaster wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


that depends on how one looks at it.

I personally have been rejected several times in a row by those I though I had a good chance of hitting the jackpot only to be disappointed and very disillusioned after the fact.

:( oh well at least there are other fish in the sea.


I think this post answers why aspie men try to hit on committed women. They cannot tell when the counterpart is or is not interested. Compare this to a man with high social value hitting on a committed women (and getting what he wants) because he knows they are interested.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

18 Sep 2016, 11:13 am

morugin wrote:
Bushmaster wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


that depends on how one looks at it.

I personally have been rejected several times in a row by those I though I had a good chance of hitting the jackpot only to be disappointed and very disillusioned after the fact.

:( oh well at least there are other fish in the sea.


I think this post answers why aspie men try to hit on committed women. They cannot tell when the counterpart is or is not interested. Compare this to a man with high social value hitting on a committed women (and getting what he wants) because he knows they are interested.





In college I knew an aspie guy who tried to chat up this girl I knew who at the time was in a committed relationship with my best friend.


My friend who is a very high functioning autistic guy himself disliked the aspie guy for chatting up his gf. His girlfriend also has aspergers too.



neurocurious
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 20 Sep 2016
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 1
Location: london

20 Sep 2016, 8:04 am

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


I am a BPD, married to an Aspie and I was chased years ago by another Aspie who told me honestly that he was interested in married women because they had more sexual experience. I think he meant that literally. He was needy, I felt sorry for him, and we became friends. I assumed this guy had a narcissistic personality disorder and a depression or something like that, but it's pretty clear today (now that I understand the condition) that he has lots of AD characteristics. He is single at 45, very lonely and has lots of difficulties in his relationships so he told me he decided never to get married. I think his pursuit of married woman was related to lack of understanding that it was not appropriate.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,461
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

21 Sep 2016, 1:34 pm

morugin wrote:
Bushmaster wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


that depends on how one looks at it.

I personally have been rejected several times in a row by those I though I had a good chance of hitting the jackpot only to be disappointed and very disillusioned after the fact.

:( oh well at least there are other fish in the sea.


I think this post answers why aspie men try to hit on committed women. They cannot tell when the counterpart is or is not interested. Compare this to a man with high social value hitting on a committed women (and getting what he wants) because he knows they are interested.



Well I think in most cases it is safe to assume if you know a woman is in a relationship she is probably not interested in advances from other guys aside from her S.O. If an aspie guy really wants to get into that sleazy kind of behavior I suppose they'd have to get verbal confirmation from the woman that they're interested in cheating on their S.O with you via asking her straight out, since we can struggle with reading more subtle signs people might give. But I think the best option is if you know a woman is in a relationship don't make romantic advances at all, even if she would take you up...do you really want to be the sleazebag she cheated on her S.O with?

Now if you are intrested in a woman and don't know she is in a relationship...then you can certainly express interest but if they then express they're already in a relationship respect that and simply move on. If you continue trying to make advances after she tells you this than you are in the wrong.


_________________
We won't go back.


yelekam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 591

21 Sep 2016, 1:43 pm

no, I actually tend to be overcautious when approaching women to avoid accidently going after women in relationships.



Jesco
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2016
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 2
Location: Van Dieman's Land

23 Sep 2016, 9:00 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think it's quite a common trait for aspie men to chase after women who are already in commited relationships? Because we don't understand what is and what is not appropriate?


No more or less than neurotypical guys, IMO.