Do you want a partner?

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Hi,

Because those with ASD's are asocial, it would make sense to think that these individuals would desire a romantic partner less than other folks. Is this the case with you? It's definitely the case with me. I do still want a partner but far less than most other guys my age. This doesn't mean I'm asexual (not at all actually), but I am a semi-aromantic. In a way this is advantageous to me given that I've faced nothing but relentless peer-rejection over the years

This likely won't apply to those with Aspergers, because aspies aren't truly asocial, however people directly on the spectrum are. My case of autism is mild, so there is at least some desire for a SO, but that's it really. I used to think I have SPD for ages, but you cannot have and ASD and SPD at the same time; never really knew this had anything to do with my ASD anyway.

Anyone relate?

I'm perfectly content to be by myself, I don't want a partner either sexually or Platonically. I have no desire to have any other person intruding into my life.

This statement doesn't make any sense to me, because:

(1) Asperger's is considered to be on the autism spectrum....

(2) People with ASD's other than Asperger's (i.e. PDD-NOS/Autistic Disorder) aren't necessarily asocial -- sometimes they want to socialize a lot and enjoy it (at least when they're successful at it).

But in answer to your question, I think I would like a partner, but I also think it would be/will be very hard to find someone compatible. I think I need a lot more alone time and independence than most people would be comfortable with.

For now, I am happy being single.

> Do You Want A Partner?

Yes, I have all my life.

Asperger's is "directly on the autism spectrum," in fact it's even been folded into "high functioning autism" or "ASD levels 1, 2 and 3" in the latest diagnostic criteria.

As for wanting a partner, no not now in my life. But that doesn't mean I haven't wanted one ever -- I wanted to have a partner very much when I was younger, in fact I spent too much of my life lonely and yearning and then getting involved with the WRONG choice. I've been married and I enjoyed my marriage while it was still in the early, positive stages. I'm not completely anti-social, I just get overwhelmed and burned out on too much interaction I don't invite or prepare for or want in the first place.

I don't want social interaction that I don't invite. I do enjoy some that I set up and decide to have of my own prerogative. But I think that's the same for many people, even neurotypicals, surely?

I don't want a partner at this point in my life for a number of reasons, one of which I'm really happy when things are serene, and things are not serene with a partner. Relationships are hard effing work and I'm happily retired from that work. I'm not interested anymore and honestly, it feels like a relief to not be interested. I'm 54 and I think I've earned the right to feel this way.

of course I do

I've went from one partner to another for the last 12 years. I hate being alone.

I'll settle for flirtations for dopamine.

I would like a partner, yes, but finding one in my present locale has proven a fruitless endeavor.

I have an online dating advice thread in dating and love where I'm giving advice in great detail

i just want to stop being scape goated neglected and bullied
i can barely eat anymore
it's always my fault for some reason, i have autism and tourretes and people just blame me like im the institute from fallout 4

I went though this for a long time. I finally got tired of it and pushed back. I started telling my self that "I have an IQ higher than all of them combined. I don't have to take this crap." I started studying people and paying attention to everything about thier social interactions (tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, their heirarchy system, and how they use language). If you let it become your obsession, you can mimic, blend in, and then even screw with their minds. The majority of us are smarter than they are.

At this juncture, I would like a friend more than, with the exception of a degree and a career, anything else in the world. I believe problems arise when one's partner is the only form of social contact one has. Thus developing a small circle of friends is more of a priority for me right now than a romantic relationship.

I don't see myself wanting one.

There are many autistics who are asocial. But there are many others who are social, but socially impaired. Some manage to work around the impairment and find a partner.

I think also there are asocial autistics who take on a partner becase most others have one and society ecpects it.

Yes and no. I do want a romantic relationship just about as much as anyone else would, but at the same time, the idea scares me.

I have to answer in the past tense, but yes I absolutely did desire a partner. For me it was like the missing piece to make up for my lack of social needs. Or put another way it was the one social need I had and desired. And finding a partner met the need and still does.