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MM99
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14 Sep 2016, 11:23 am

Since I turned 17 a few months ago I've started to want a boyfriend very badly, or at least someone to have sex with. The problem is that the town where I live is a bit conservative and not very big, so find gay guys of my age here is pretty difficult.
It's not that there aren't some, I actually know 5 or 6 (I dated one of them for a few days, until I realized that the only thing we had in common was homosexuality), but they aren't my type at all. I think that gay guys (at least here) tend to be very materialistic and capitalistic (they always have to buy everything they want, and they want a lot of useless things), over-worried about their social and physical image, too focused on following trends or on trying to not follow them at all if they are hipsters (which is hypocritical because it ends being a trend too)... and it's basicly the opposite to what a I would like my boyfriend to be.
Autism doesn't help either because I'm too scared to go pubbing at the big city near my town, even knowing that there is a lot of gay nightlife and pubs there. Also, I'm too bad flirting to try online dating pages.
I'm not completly desperate because next year I'll start college in Madrid or another big city here in Spain where I'm sure I'll be able to find a lot of interesting (and gay I hope) people, but it's so sad to think that I won't have neither a boyfriend nor sex (I'm still a virgin :cry: ) for at least a year...



kraftiekortie
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14 Sep 2016, 6:36 pm

I would say Barcelona has lots of gay people.

When you say "college," do you mean "university?"



MM99
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15 Sep 2016, 1:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would say Barcelona has lots of gay people.

When you say "college," do you mean "university?"


Both Barcelona and Madrid have a lot of gay people I think. And other big cities in Spain too. I would say Spain is mostly a gay friendly country, but my town isn't. Not hostile either but definitely not friendly.

I thought "college" was the american word for "university", which I thought was a british word, but I may be wrong. So yes, I meant "university".



tanq
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15 Sep 2016, 11:38 am

My advice is to stop "looking" for a boyfriend. I think we put off some kind of weird vibe when we do that.

Get involved in activities you enjoy and that also involve other people. Start conversations. You'll meet some interesting acquaintances and make a few friends. If you encounter a potential boyfriend, I think you'll know it and you can move on from there.



CatLady53
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15 Sep 2016, 4:37 pm

MM99 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:

I thought "college" was the american word for "university", which I thought was a british word, but I may be wrong. So yes, I meant "university".


You were correct, college and university are used interchangeably in the US, e.g. I went to a state university that was called X College. Colleges usually confer 2-4 degrees and are smaller, a university is bigger and has more postgraduate options. The US equivalent of the European college is a community college.

I agree that you should stop looking and it will happen organically. The tricky part is getting out there. I have same issue connecting with people in my neighborhood because so many of them are materialistic and we moved away from NYC to the backwoods to get away from that. What kind of interests do you have and have you tried joining groups devoted to these interests? I witnesses tons of people connect via trivial things such as games on Facebook.



Kovu
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30 Oct 2016, 3:19 pm

Hola, hablo español.

Ahora vivo en Madrid y soy bisexual, aunque tengo sangre inglesa. Puedes preguntarme lo que quieras.



carturo222
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25 Dec 2016, 9:49 pm

I met my soon-to-be husband via online dating. This is what worked for me:

* Be very detailed, very specific in your profile. That way the website can give you more relevant compatibility matches.
* Be clear as to what are your absolute boundaries. In my case, I knew my absolute minimum was a non-married atheist non-smoker with no kids and some education. As long as you know clearly what your minimum standards are, you'll save yourself a lot of time.
* If in a subsequent conversation he has to ask what's your name again, move on.
* If he gets upset because at any given moment you don't feel like sending pictures, move on.
* If he manipulates conversations to make it all about his life and his plans and his hobbies, move on.

In summary: be wholly yourself and don't settle for anyone who doesn't respect you.



randomeu
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16 Jan 2017, 8:00 pm

I installed the app known as "grindr" once just to see (since it locates you, then shows people who are near you) i discovered some very interesting stuff on there.such as finding out that i few people ive seen around are actually gay. but the BEST one was finding a bully of mine on there. couldn't do anything about it though, as that'd reveal myself as well. and that'd give me alot of enemies. i uninstalled it (never set a profile picture or actual name) because im not really looking for anyone (im not in a position for it to be viable financially and such)


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AQ score: 45

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Officially diagnosed 30th june 2017


spiderman123
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03 Feb 2017, 3:38 pm