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yashua
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Joined: 25 Sep 2016
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 6

25 Sep 2016, 8:13 pm

Hello my name is Joshua this is my first time on any sort of support/advice forum I'm 24 and honestly don't know what I'm doing at all I made it this far somehow avoiding things avoiding people and keeping myself out of "Love". Last year I met someone that really changed a lot of things for me made me feel things i wasn't comfortable with at first and showed me what It's like to really love and care for someone and she loves me dearly we got into an argument lets call it a wall because she didn't see my love she didn't know how much I miscommunication so many things i didn't understand what she was asking for and almost ruined something I now can't live without. I told someone for the first time in my life aside from my mom already knowing that I was diagnosed with Autism something I have spent my whole life avoiding and making no attempt to understand in my head I had my programming and paid all my bills on time my cats we're all i needed and 1-2 friends maximum just to prove to myself I can have friends.

Anyways lets get to why I'm here, she tells me her opinion means nothing to me and every time we get into a fight I make her feel bad, I don't understand how I just can't connect these things together today I told her I will always bend to her and in my head that had a different meaning to me i thought it was loving but after hurting her with those words and a quick google search i found what I said had a completely different meaning and when I tell her what I actually meant she doesn't believe me because of my body language and expression.

Thank you



kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
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Posts: 67,475
Location: Queens, NYC

28 Sep 2016, 10:49 am

Stop bending to her.

Women like men who are firm in their convictions.



HelloSweetie
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Joined: 22 Sep 2016
Age: 45
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Posts: 229

28 Sep 2016, 11:23 am

Advice that I gave myself today:

Stop talking.
Start doing.
Now.

Do something else besides using verbal communication to express what she means to you. Or what is important to you.
How she changed your life.



nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 37
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04 Oct 2016, 10:13 pm

Has she done any research on Aspergers? It's pretty common for NTs to misinterpret our body language & facial expressions & some Aspies also have problems expressing love. Having her do some research on Aspergers might help her understand where your coming from & better understand your way of communicating & expressing your feelings for her. You could try getting her to read some posts in this forum & I'm sure some here can suggest other resources like books.


_________________
But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
How do you know I'm mad? said Alice.
You must be, said the Cat, or you wouldn't have come here.