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Compromising.

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sly279
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01 Oct 2016, 5:20 pm

Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I usually text during video gaming. Though some games make it so rapid replies aren't possible.

What I see is a lot of people making it seem like I'll have to give up all my interests and spend all my time with a gf. That sounds suffocating


Most aren't like you either want someone who shares your interests or accepts them. Just be clear that sometimes you need your alone time.

You need to make some allowance to give the other person time bit it's worth it

I know that I'll be expected to attend horrible social gatherings for her. I also want to cuddle a lot and watch tv/movies I'd just want to find a balance. We won't live together, would she come stay over at my place? I wouldn't imagine she would, so it'd be texting mostly right and hang out once every two weeks or so?

Is that what you mean?



Sweetleaf
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03 Oct 2016, 12:22 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
I don't need a girlfriend to prevent me from pursuing my interests—I already have my parents and certain people from my pseudo-job for that. In fact, this is one of the reasons it was unthinkable for me to have a girlfriend even when I was young, thin and far from being as dilapidated physically and morally as I'm now: I wouldn't have any time for her, because I already owed it to others.


I don't think it would be a good thing if ones girlfriend prevented them pursuing their interests, or even worse makes fun of those interests. That is certainly not what I mean about compromising...anyone who is expecting their S.O to shed their interests and such for them is asking for too one-sided of a compromise.


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nick007
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03 Oct 2016, 6:54 pm

I don't understand those Aspies or NTs who act like that within a relationship. I'm an Aspie who's partner becomes their special interest & I'm clingy & needy. I love spending time with my partner & thankfully my girlfriend is kinda needy & clingy too. She has depression, anxiety & fibromyalgia & those things can be difficult for me to handle sometimes but I do my best because I love her. I have disabilities myself & other issues that she factors in when making decisions or doing things. I like to spend most of my time with her but there are times when she needs or wants to be alone so I do other things when I know I should like go walking, spend time on computer, watch a TV show she's not very interested in, or play a video-game. I can get on her nerves by being around her so much but she doesn't always tell me when she wants space & sometimes when I do leave her alone she wants to be near me again so I try my best to guess when I should leave her alone & try not to leave her alone for too long. I hate reality TV but she likes watching some of those shows so I usually watch TV with her because I like being next to her even thou I don't want to watch those shows & she sometimes watches shows with me that she's not really interested in. There's lots of other things we do too that are sorta compromises but I don't really view them as compromises but rather just doing what's best for her or for both of us.

I relate to sly about being jealous of those guys because I certainly was when I was single.


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