How can I get rid of special interests and sensory overload?

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jhd
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01 Oct 2016, 6:15 pm

Hello. I have been struggling with the transition to adulthood while being autistic, having suffered through major depressive disorder and social anxiety disorder as well.

I am trying to deal with the problems that keep arising and would like to know what suggestions other people on the spectrum have for me.

One major dilemma I face is with spending an exorbitant amount of time on special interests/obsessions that are detrimental to this adulthood transition and/or vain in nature (mainly my obsession with cartoons like MLP). It has been an excruciating process in the past trying to rid myself from other special interests that were unhealthy which took me away from my real passions and I would like to know your advice.

I also have issues with sensory overload and feeling overwhelmed in conversation and daily tasks. How do you guys combat this? It has hampered my ability to accomplish assignments and communicate with others IRL.

Thank you very much.



btbnnyr
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01 Oct 2016, 6:50 pm

I don't think it is possible to entirely get rid of special interests and sensory overload, but there are ways to deal with them to make them less problematic.
For special interests that interfere with things you need or want to do, remember that the special interest is there, waiting for you to have fun with it after you do other things.
If you do more other things, you may get into them and ditch unwanted special interests naturally.
For sensory overload, train yourself to avoid focusing on overstimulation to make it worse, and continue to have conversations and do daily tasks during this training process.
Take long, frequent breaks away from people and sensory stimuli to let your brain relax between overstimulating episodes.


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RabidFox
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01 Oct 2016, 7:05 pm

I have been struggling with special interests as well. But I have made a lot of progress! :D

All my life, I have had an uncontrollable obsession with learning. I have been working hard to make myself aware of just what all I know. I have been telling myself over and over again that I am already very knowledgeable, and I do not need to keep pushing myself into unlimited reading and logic building. I tell myself that I already reached my goal a long time ago, years ago. I'm done, I'm fine, it's over with. I already can ace the tests and do whatever I please. I just need to accept as much as possible that I finished sculpting myself in the distant past.

So whatever it is that your obsessions are, just keep telling yourself that you reached the limit a very long time ago. You've done it over and over, and there's nothing new that you need to get from it. Even if it keeps changing into all kinds of different things, even if it makes you feel like you're getting a higher and higher score, just remind yourself that you really have perfected it and there's no need to keep polishing your skills, regardless of whatever they may be.



jhd
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01 Oct 2016, 7:45 pm

Thank you both for your replies.

btbnnyr, this has been my approach with sensory overload so far but it's hard getting away from others especially when you're responsible for something. I've had issues where facing excessive sensory stimuli led me to quit a research position I really enjoyed and forced me to cut off fledgling relationships with people. If you have other tips for situations in which you cannot just leave the area to find a quieter place and contemplate, I would really appreciate it.

RabidFox, thank you for perspective. I'll try telling myself this. In the past my two options have been either "imbibing" myself with said unwanted special interest for a long stretch of time in one sitting until it sort of hurts my brain or prohibit myself from accessing the unwanted special interest for several weeks until what I care about takes over.

The special interests I really am passionate about are more active in nature like learning medicine and reading certain texts in a field while the special interests I wish to dissociate myself with are more passive in nature like watching a certain cartoon, so the unwanted special interests are easier to engage with initially on a day to day basis and makes me feel something weird (guilt? self-hatred? not sure) for not engaging with what I actually like and what I can pursue as a career. Have you guys experienced this?



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01 Oct 2016, 7:54 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
For special interests that interfere with things you need or want to do, remember that the special interest is there, waiting for you to have fun with it after you do other things.


Great advice! Now, if only I could make myself follow it ... :oops: ... I think I may need to go a step further and write out a schedule detailing what I need to be doing depending on what hour of the day it is. Then check completed items off the list as I do them. I can even schedule time for my interests ... the reason being, there should be both a start time AND a stop time. :)

btbnnyr wrote:
If you do more other things, you may get into them and ditch unwanted special interests naturally.


Or at least have a more balanced set of interests. Okay, take MLP as an example. This is something I never got obsessed with since I was older when it first came out on TV. So I would only play ponies with my baby niece to keep her happy when I visited her house at Christmas, and that only lasted about two years. Now, come to find out that John DeLancie does the voice of Eris for MLP ... Oddly enough, I still haven't gotten into MLP, although if a convention comes to town, I just may show up just to say "hello" to the actor who has also played "Q" from Star Trek ... 8)

Pardon my ramble. (It will make sense in a moment.)

To better answer this point, I would say, think of your other interests and where they might lead ... what kind of good outcomes might result if you invest in doing something new? Like a few months ago (again Star Trek related, in my case) ... I had to tell my fellow club members that since I'm getting more serious about being an artist, I can't always attend Star Trek events. Just not enough hours in the day ... and I really needed to meet new people, anyways. Devoting more time to art has gotten me into two art shows recently (one is still ongoing), and allowed me to meet some amazing people, so it's definitely been the right choice. So sometimes you have to let go of a really cool interest in favor of an even better one. Or at least cut back on the amount of time you spend on an interest that offers less value to your life.

btbnnyr wrote:
For sensory overload, train yourself to avoid focusing on overstimulation to make it worse, and continue to have conversations and do daily tasks during this training process.


This can work, or maybe help somewhat, depending on how physically painful or overwhelming the overstimulation is.

btbnnyr wrote:
Take long, frequent breaks away from people and sensory stimuli to let your brain relax between overstimulating episodes.


Everybody needs some downtime. "Long" and "frequent" may vary by individual and circumstances. But yeah, vacations are healthy. Including, vacations from some of your interests.



AJisHere
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02 Oct 2016, 8:43 am

I seem to have gotten rid of my special interests, but I don't know I could tell you how. I'm not sure, myself. The sensory stuff never really goes away, you just have to learn coping strategies.


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02 Oct 2016, 8:46 am

AJisHere wrote:
I seem to have gotten rid of my special interests, but I don't know I could tell you how. I'm not sure, myself. The sensory stuff never really goes away, you just have to learn coping strategies.

Do you miss having special interests? When I'm in between interests, I find it rather depressing.


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02 Oct 2016, 9:07 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Do you miss having special interests? When I'm in between interests, I find it rather depressing.


Not one bit. My only concern is that even years after things changed I'm not sure I have a similarly effective coping mechanism. That worries me, even though I don't like the idea of having a special interest again.


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Jo_B1_Kenobi
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02 Oct 2016, 9:16 am

jhd wrote:
Thank you both for your replies.

btbnnyr, this has been my approach with sensory overload so far but it's hard getting away from others especially when you're responsible for something. I've had issues where facing excessive sensory stimuli led me to quit a research position I really enjoyed and forced me to cut off fledgling relationships with people. If you have other tips for situations in which you cannot just leave the area to find a quieter place and contemplate, I would really appreciate it.

RabidFox, thank you for perspective. I'll try telling myself this. In the past my two options have been either "imbibing" myself with said unwanted special interest for a long stretch of time in one sitting until it sort of hurts my brain or prohibit myself from accessing the unwanted special interest for several weeks until what I care about takes over.

The special interests I really am passionate about are more active in nature like learning medicine and reading certain texts in a field while the special interests I wish to dissociate myself with are more passive in nature like watching a certain cartoon, so the unwanted special interests are easier to engage with initially on a day to day basis and makes me feel something weird (guilt? self-hatred? not sure) for not engaging with what I actually like and what I can pursue as a career. Have you guys experienced this?


Hi,

I'm well into adulthood (in my 40's) and I still have a special interest from when I was 7 - Star Wars. I'm more into the comics and animated series now (like Rebels and Clone Wars) than the films but that's OK. Because I am aware that loving Star Wars comics and cartoons isn't always considered appropriate for a middle-aged adult what I've done is to put some boundaries around it so that I can still lead a responsible adult life without my interest causing me problems and yet I can still enjoy my special interest too when I want. Personally I don't think there's a problem with an adult like MLP cartoons. It's an interest which harms no-one and is actually much healthier than some more traditionally adult pursuits like falling down drunk or losing all your money playing poker.

So what I do is:
(1) Avoid talking about my special interest to people outside my family unless someone else brings it up.
(2) Follow my special interest in my recreation time and treat it just like any other recreational activity. I believe that as long as I don't have an interest which harms anyone I can follow any special interest I like.
(3) Have other interests as well so that I'm not just focussing on Star Wars.
(4) Pull back a little from it if I find that is all I'm doing in my spare time.

This seems to work well, giving me scope to enjoy my own genuine interests without it becoming too obsessive or getting in the way of being a responsible functioning adult.

How would that feel to you? Maybe you do genuinely want to get rid of your love of MLP in which case, I find the best thing is to get into something else that fullfills the same things for you but feels like something you'd prefer to do. So, for instance if what you like about MLP is the colour and art work then you could get into enjoying that style of art without it necessarily being MLP. If what you like is the story telling you could get into a genre of fiction which has that quality. If MLP consitutes for you a safe happy place psychologically then find somehting which does a similar thing for you? You say that MLP is a passive activity, well if you're a busy person then having a passive activity can be helpful in winding down and relaxing, so maybe replace it with another passive relaxing activity.

I hope this helps. If any of it is unhelpful then please just ignore it. All the best.


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jhd
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02 Oct 2016, 11:31 am

Jo_B1_Kenobi wrote:
Hi,

I'm well into adulthood (in my 40's) and I still have a special interest from when I was 7 - Star Wars. I'm more into the comics and animated series now (like Rebels and Clone Wars) than the films but that's OK. Because I am aware that loving Star Wars comics and cartoons isn't always considered appropriate for a middle-aged adult what I've done is to put some boundaries around it so that I can still lead a responsible adult life without my interest causing me problems and yet I can still enjoy my special interest too when I want. Personally I don't think there's a problem with an adult like MLP cartoons. It's an interest which harms no-one and is actually much healthier than some more traditionally adult pursuits like falling down drunk or losing all your money playing poker.

So what I do is:
(1) Avoid talking about my special interest to people outside my family unless someone else brings it up.
(2) Follow my special interest in my recreation time and treat it just like any other recreational activity. I believe that as long as I don't have an interest which harms anyone I can follow any special interest I like.
(3) Have other interests as well so that I'm not just focussing on Star Wars.
(4) Pull back a little from it if I find that is all I'm doing in my spare time.

This seems to work well, giving me scope to enjoy my own genuine interests without it becoming too obsessive or getting in the way of being a responsible functioning adult.

How would that feel to you? Maybe you do genuinely want to get rid of your love of MLP in which case, I find the best thing is to get into something else that fullfills the same things for you but feels like something you'd prefer to do. So, for instance if what you like about MLP is the colour and art work then you could get into enjoying that style of art without it necessarily being MLP. If what you like is the story telling you could get into a genre of fiction which has that quality. If MLP consitutes for you a safe happy place psychologically then find somehting which does a similar thing for you? You say that MLP is a passive activity, well if you're a busy person then having a passive activity can be helpful in winding down and relaxing, so maybe replace it with another passive relaxing activity.

I hope this helps. If any of it is unhelpful then please just ignore it. All the best.


Thank you for your response. It was helpful. The problem I've had with some of my special interests in the past and nowadays is that they're not exactly enjoyable except in the moment. It makes me anxious because I obsess over them before I do them and I wish I hadn't after I do them. I just want to spend my time doing what truly enlivens me instead and have downtime doing things that I won't obsess over 24/7.

The major thing is that it makes me feel I have no control over what I want to do and how I schedule my time and life.



Last edited by jhd on 02 Oct 2016, 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

FluttercordAspie93
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02 Oct 2016, 11:43 am

the_phoenix wrote:
Now, come to find out that John DeLancie does the voice of Eris for MLP ... Oddly enough, I still haven't gotten into MLP, although if a convention comes to town, I just may show up just to say "hello" to the actor who has also played "Q" from Star Trek ... 8)


Sorry to sound like sort of a know-it-all, but it's actually Discord from MLP. :) To be honest, I'm still trying to meet up with John DeLancie myself... Discord is also a character I consider as one of my special interests.

Anyway, to the OP: not really too sure how to get rid of special interests myself, but I have learned that exercising can help deal with sensory issues.



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02 Oct 2016, 12:51 pm

FluttercordAspie93 wrote:
the_phoenix wrote:
Now, come to find out that John DeLancie does the voice of Eris for MLP ... Oddly enough, I still haven't gotten into MLP, although if a convention comes to town, I just may show up just to say "hello" to the actor who has also played "Q" from Star Trek ... 8)


Sorry to sound like sort of a know-it-all, but it's actually Discord from MLP. :) To be honest, I'm still trying to meet up with John DeLancie myself... Discord is also a character I consider as one of my special interests.


Well, you might say, it's Greek to me ... :)



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02 Oct 2016, 2:29 pm

I have an example of dealing with sensory work wells for me.
Often, I have to do experiments in a lab where there are 10 machines making 10 different loud noises, bright fluorescent lights, liquid nitrogen tank that vents scarily every 10 minutes, and automated computer voices announcing that your samples are done every 10 minutes.
I avoid focusing on sensory stuff when I am there, and this was possible because I had trained myself for the previous 2 years to reduce focusing on lights and noises that bother me, and I found that overfocusing was a big part of overstimulation.
I mostly do routine things there, like run experiments and analyze date using code I wrote in a nice sensory place like my office or my home.
There are other people at the lab, and I talk to them a lot when I am doing experiments there, and this takes my mind off sensory stuff some more.
I go to this lab like 3-4 times per week for half a day or so each time.
Between experiments, I go outside for a walk, or to the convenience store to buy gummi bears.
The rest of the time, I work in nice sensory places, sometimes at home which is very close to my school.
These are the breaks for my brain to recover from overstimulation, I am still working during them.
Some labmates have offices outside the lab, and I noticed that they often work on their computers there instead of in the lab, which everyone agrees is a sensory hellhole, I am not the only one who wants to escape that place.
But the place is both hellish and fun, as lots of crazy things go on there, and I feel quite myself there.
In summary, the 2 key things that help me most are (1) not overfocusing on sensory, and (2) not having to be in the lab too much of the time.
Another thing is when you feel particularly overstimulated on some occasions, just blow off the rest of the day and take a doing whatever you want break.
Try to get things done when you feel good and not procrastinate too much, so you can fit these blow stuff off times into your schedule when needed.


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02 Oct 2016, 7:24 pm

Well my personal advice here:

1. I wouldn't say "special interests" are bad in and of themselves unless they're counter-productive (e.x. excessive or addictive video gaming) and keep you from pursuing a more well-rounded life. The way I got over "special interests" was reading more and logically relating it to a more broader or fundamental category:

(e.x. Instead of obsessively being interested in reading about a specific make/model of car, relate it to "cars" in general - maybe read a general book on cars, or a Wikipedia article, and then branch off from there).

2. As far as sensory overload, learning to be more mindful and relaxed, rather than "overthinking" is the best cure.