How expensive is it to have a child?

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I'm reluctant to have a kid because I've read statistics showing that in the current US economy, it costs an average of $11,000 per year to raise a kid from age 1-18 (not counting any potential college or education expenses).

I was curious if it actually plays out like this for anyone else. I'm not of the opinion that there should be an "income limit" per se to have a kid since this flirts with eugenics, but I do tend to look down on people I see on the news who have little to no income and no prospects for the future, but continue to "make babies" and just let taxpayers fit the bill.

Sounds to me your either more interested in your life stile then having children and a family, or your just feeling insecure and nervous about it and want to talk your self out of having one, or looking for an excuse to tell your women why you do not want to have any kids now.

Otherwise,

Unless your rich or upper class, you will never quite have enough or be ready, just take life as it comes, have one or two kids, enjoy loving and taking care of your family, it will all work out in the end, just take it one day at a time and do the best you can.

Well I want my children to have good education and career prospects, especially in this economy were simply graduating HS and getting a job can barely afford a bachelor pad, let alone a family as it did back in the 1950s.

Plus since AS has genetic tendencies I'm concerned I might pass them on and that my child might need to benefit from more special care and treatment.

1- by the time your kid becomes collage age most skills learned will quickly become out of date and so will have to go right back to school and most likely back into a never ending debt to the education system. the only real way out of this loop is if they make education much cheaper or free.

2- much of what people calls autism I think may be a form of evolution taking place, an adaption, and its the so called normals whom see this change as a problem.

My son is autistic, both his mother and I have aspergers, her IQ is 136, mine is 132, and I can tell now that my sons IQ is a bit higher then even mine and who knows maybe even higher then his mothers, so tell me, does this sound like a bad thing to you?

There are a lot of things to consider. As a parent of two boys, I will tell you that it has been the hardest thing that I have ever done; and yes, it is expensive. If you feel that you and your partner are in a good place financially and emotionally that is a good start. If you think your financial prospects will continue to grow as you get older and believe that you will be able to provide for a child at the level that you would feel comfortable with then that is another positive. Might I add though that it is just not the expense of money. Are willing to sacrifice your time, your sleep, your life as you know it right now? Because all of the things that comprise your life today, will ALL change. That does not have to be a bad thing, but something that needs to be understood and accepted. (The accepting part is hard, I am 6 yrs into the parenting thing, and I am still having trouble with accepting the changes)

So I guess a short answer- They're expensive and the $11,000 estimate sounds to me to be a little bit on the low side. Knowing what I know now, if I was in my late 20's / early 30's and thinking about starting a family in 2016 I wouldn't want to do it unless my household income was at least $60,000 a year and rising. Sounds crazy, I know. Best of luck.

last second thought....child care....HUGE expense. My youngest is still in Pre-k day care....cost a little over $800 a month. When the both of them were in day care it was a bout $1700 a month.
Kind Regards Shark

I haven't added up how much we spend because once you get passed diapers and other baby-specific expenditures, most of it blends into the family budget and it is hard to parse from the family budget. How much extra food do we buy? Hard to say. Clothing prices depend on where you shop. Extra rent/mortgage for extra space? That varies on the area. There are also a ton of optional expenses--how many toys, etc?

If you have an autistic child, I can say that you spend more, but a lot of it depends on your specific child's needs. Some children have substantial medical-related needs. You may need to replace things like chairs, fairly often, if they are rough on things. You may want to buy things to make their lives easier, or give them certain experiences.


My gut feeling from your post is that you don't really want kids, and if so,that is OK. I really don't understand why this is something everyone is made to feel they need to have in today's world with modern birth control and so many different kinds of families.

If you do want them and your main concern really is cost, I have no idea what colleges are going to cost down the line or any of that, and if that is your main focus, I am not sure you will decide to have them. There is always going to be stuff other people will be able to provide for their kids, unless you are super rich, that you won't be, that will give their kids a leg up on yours. I can't imagine basing a reproductive decision on that fact b/c it has always been that way, always will, and if that was how most people decided only rich people would have kids, which does not sound so great. There are many other non-tangibles that are also important.

I think a large chunk of that amount would be for childcare. It doesn't (or needn't, at least) cost anywhere near that much to feed and clothe a kid.

This is a "do as I say, not as do" comment, but if there is any chance you might benefit from my often painful experience, I would like to facilitate that.

The basic economic guides that are widely available (and that often tell us things we don't want to hear) are essentially true and accurate. It costs a lot to raise a child.

The basics
You should save 20% of your income, starting on the first day of your working life, for retirement.
You should plan to spend about 30% of your income on housing.
An average middle income family should expect to pay about 18% of its budget on childcare. Check your specifics here: http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/tools/CRC_Calculator/
For my family, this is $16k per child.

As Dickens warned through the voice of Mr Micawber: "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

The hard way to learn that lesson is to experience the misery.

I believe a good strategy is to attempt to do the calculations with as little emotion as possible and avoid self deception.
"we'll somehow make it work" is a recipe for protracted misery.

May all your decisions advance you and your family toward happiness.

In the UK with state healthcare and education, so no costs there, we spend roughly £3500 ($4500) a year on the day-to-day care of our toddler.

That includes food, clothing, activities and toys and books.

Obviously there will be occasional big expenses - bigger activities/events, bits of furniture occasionally needed for the bedroom. Plus, maybe £300-500 across annual 'big days' such as birthdays and Christmas.

And even with that, which I guess at £5000 ($6500) we'd be overestimating, as it probably totals quite a bit less, I'd say she's got plenty - she isn't spoiled, but certainly isn't missing out either. She's busy every day of the week and has loads to do at home, as well.

Of course, the US might be a very different experience.

The truth is if people want to have children they will figure out how to make it work. If they do not think they want children but life decides to bless them with children anyway, people usually find they are quite capable of embracing the children and all the costs.

For me, it was never a question of "if," just of "when." If that is you, then looking at likely costs is a smart approach, since it will help you decide what a good "when" will look like. I tell people to define the "when." If you leave it up to an ill-defined "when we are financially comfortable" you will find there is always a new condition to add. Is it after you've bought a house? After you've remodeled? After that trip to Europe? It can be a moving target, while every year of delay reduces the odds of medical issues complicating the situation.

There is no question that having children reduced my standard of living financially. It isn't just the direct cost, it is also the fact that I couldn't reasonably balance it all and keep working the hours I was working and, so, my income has decreased substantially. But money never really made anyone happy. My children, on the other hand, most definitely have been a priceless gift. I wouldn't say they make me happy as much as they have filled in my life; I have no way to explain it. You either want this adventure, or you don't.

I nearly always agree with you DW, but that is not necessarily true. There are plenty of people out there who have kids who they cannot afford. Other people pay for them. There are also people out the who do not think it is their responsibility to pay for their kids. They feel entitled to have others do it for them.

I do not think there is anything wrong with considering the costs of raising a child. I wish more people considered it. And I am not fond of the implication that if someone asks this question, it must mean they really don't want kids. What I would say is that you may never feel like you are ready. By that, I mean you could wait your whole life for that "moment," and then miss it. If you and your partner can support yourselves and you get to the point where you are ready to sacrifice your time, your freedom, and perhaps some comforts for a few years, then you may want to go ahead and start your family. You may never feel financially secure enough. For us, there came a time when the ability to be spontaneous and carefree became less attractive than having a family. That's when we started. I wish we would have been more financially secure, but if we would have waited until I felt we were financially secure, we would still be waiting. I'm 48 and my huband is 54. We would have missed the boat.

**edited for bad grammar**

Valid points. I was looking it from the perspective of someone reasonably intelligent trying to make a sound decision because that is the group of people I assume our poster comes from.

I like to think that I'm reasonably intelligent, but I don't always make sound decisions.