Do you feel exposed when wearing really loose clothing?

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MentalIllnessObsessed
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05 Oct 2016, 6:20 am

Greetings. My question was specifically for dresses, but I guess it could be really loose clothing too. But anyways, whenever I wear a dress, I feel like everyone can see me. I feel like I'm not wearing any clothes and that everyone can see underneath my dress. I don't feel nice in a dress because it's so loose. After learning that I have ASD, I learned that one thing about mine is that I like pressure. I am hypersensitive to pressure, and that I like hugs specifically to the response of pressure. But I also always wear clothing that is more tight because if I don't, I feel naked. Maybe it's my way to get pressure? It could also be related to my social anxiety because I don't want to be embarrassed or judged for wearing a dress (since I never do), but I believe it's more of a sensory issue. Does anyone else feel the same way?

I mainly ask this because for school, I need to wear what is called "black fancy". And people assume guys wear suits and girls wear dresses/skirts. And I have been mistaken for a man too many times that by wearing a woman's suit, people are going to think that I'm a guy, when I'm not. But I don't feel comfortable in dresses. But I'm afraid of being embarrassed if I wear a woman's suit. I have pretty bad social anxiety with professionals saying I'll most likely have it for life. So what, in your opinion, is the best thing for me to do? I know many people will probably be "choose what you want and don't care what others think" but when you have social anxiety, you also care about how others perceive you. But I also don't really like dresses and mainly wear them to conform to society's judgment of gender.

Any responses is appreciated.


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ArielsSong
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05 Oct 2016, 6:33 am

I am the same with pressure.

I don't wear dresses/skirts, but I do need my clothes to be tight and I buy longer socks (rather than trainer socks) that I have to have pulled up.

I also find pressure to be very calming, and can't sleep without a heavy duvet.

I'd definitely be wearing the suit in your situation. I think women's suits do look different enough - the shape is more suited to a woman's figure - but even if that's not the case, I always put comfort above appearance. 'Fitting in' is not worth it, in my opinion, if you're constantly feeling uncomfortable and can't relax. That would bring a whole new set of problems!



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05 Oct 2016, 7:21 am

I feel exposed when wearing skirts or dresses but that might be because of a Marilyn Monroe moment i had on a windy day - note to self: do not wear skirts and dresses on windy days!

I prefer my clothes to be looser. I find tight, form-fitting clothes to be really uncomfortable. I guess I don't like the pressure that those clothes have on my body. Soft, cotton clothes that lightly brush my skin are what I prefer.


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TheSilentOne
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05 Oct 2016, 10:47 am

I definitely feel exposed if my clothes are too loose. I'm picky about what I wear. I always wear a pair of tight shorts (like yoga shorts) under my skirts and dresses. I don't wear dresses too often, but I do sometimes wear long skirts.


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05 Oct 2016, 12:57 pm

Yes. I do feel exposed in dresses. For me dresses are acceptable for 1. sleepwear, 2. beachwear. Where it is natural to show some of your body.

It's probably just part of my trauma from middle school though: I stopped wearing skirts because boys moved my skirt up one day, exposing my panties. I also stopped wearing loose pants and started wearing jeans only (despite hating jeans before) because boys pulled my loose pants down in front of whole class once and I figured jeans won't be so easy to pull down.
The the fear of being asked "what happened you started wearing skirts all of sudden" and being seen wearing clothes not designed for my gender. Its stupid because I am biologically female but I feel male or genderfluid/non-binary at most, I don't consider myself a female so wearing a shirt feels like I am a transvestite. I would probably start wearing skirts sometimes if some company started producing skirts for males and males started wearing them.

When I was forced to wear a skirts during my cousin wedding I had to wear shorts underneath or else I felt too exposed and out of place.

But I generally like loose clothes or at least I hate clothes that are tight - I always cut off fasteners from my socks and pull them down, I literally cannot wear skinny pants and I hate to feel my shirt pressure.
I wear shoes 1-2 sizes too big. I sleep naked (but wear nightshirt with panties before going to sleep and also when I share room with other people - and I cannot fall asleep in pajama pants, it must be either a nightshirt or nothing at all) and when home alone in summer I like walking around the house in a skirt. When my parents are home I wear very loose short pants(looking almost like a skirt) instead - but I change to jeans when I leave the house. I also like wearing loose sweaters and my favorite shirts are really light and soft so I can't feel them at all and during the summer I often don't wear bra under my shirts when at home. But I must feel my bra when I am outside or I feel exposed.

But I do need my bedding to be quite heavy or I can't fall sleep and I do keep a soft blanket on my back most of the time when I am home, even during summer. I feel uncomfortable without it. It's very cosy.



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05 Oct 2016, 8:32 pm

I'm a peculiar mix with the tight-versus-loose clothing thing. I too am calmed by certain types of pressure, but my sensory issues also mean that while some garments have to be tight, other garments must be loose or I don't feel comfortable.

The ones I actively desire to be tight on me and provide pressure are my socks (like someone else mentioned, I pull them up really tight around my feet), and the band of my bra. If I'm wearing a bra that is too loose around the band that goes round your ribcage, I cannot function from the distraction of how squirmy that makes me feel. If my socks get all baggy inside my shoes or boots, I can't do anything until I correct that.

At the same time, I prefer other clothing to be loose fitting rather than tight. I don't like dresses much as I do feel too exposed in them unless they are maxi-length like some summer dresses and skirts.

But tops and other things I prefer to be relaxed on me rather than tight.



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05 Oct 2016, 8:37 pm

I'm the opposite ... I tend to buy clothing that's two or three sizes too big for me, so that I can breathe.
Tight clothes are like a boa constrictor squeezing me so I can't breathe.



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06 Oct 2016, 3:51 am

I only wear baggy tshirts and tracksuit trousers. I am female but I never dress female. I always felt exposed and naked in girly / skimpy clothing, and I cannot wear dresses, as feeling my thighs and legs together just feels wrong. I cannot wear most tight clothes, with exception to my weightlifting gear.


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Jo_B1_Kenobi
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07 Oct 2016, 11:14 am

SteelMaiden wrote:
I only wear baggy tshirts and tracksuit trousers. I am female but I never dress female. I always felt exposed and naked in girly / skimpy clothing, and I cannot wear dresses, as feeling my thighs and legs together just feels wrong. I cannot wear most tight clothes, with exception to my weightlifting gear.


I feel very much the same. I never wear dresses or skirts, only trousers and tops. At work I need to be quite smart so I wear smarter clothes but I make sure they're still very roomy and are made of a soft material.

In terms of the OP's questions - I would go with the women's suit if it was me. It's a perfectly acceptable option. If you are worried about how other poeple might view it - ask a few people you trust and see what their feedback is - it might be easier to do if you know there are people who support your choice. Best of luck!


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TheArronaut
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07 Oct 2016, 11:20 am

it's the opposite for me, the looser and baggier the clothing the better. I don't like people being able to see the outline of my body bc of tight clothes. The more loose layers I'm wearing, the better. Summer kills me for this exact reason


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07 Oct 2016, 12:22 pm

I don't feel exposed. I just look like I have no style and feel like I'm not put together. I love dresses and skirts but wear leggings with them. My clothes aren't tight to the point where I feel like I can't breathe but they're not baggy to the point where I feel and look like I'm not cute. I can't even wear pajamas around the house unless I'm getting ready for bed. I'm female inside and out by the way and that's probably why women's clothes feel comfortable on me. When I wear men's clothes out in public, I sleep in men's t-shirts sometimes, I don't feel correct.


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