Surrounded by idiots and a-holes at work
Does anybody every feel that the people they work with are a mixed bag of idiots and a-holes? I sure do.
At first I blamed it all on myself for being AS. And that's clearly still the main problem. But now that I've finally started taking some initiative to make some friends outside of work and have a small social life with a few cool NT's who share my interests, I realize that the people at work really are losers.
All they do is stand around and make small talk about boring crap that they pretend to be interested in. And there are a couple of them that actually seem to have a lot of fun by picking on me and trying to "trip me up" or trick me into doing or saying something stupid.
At first I felt like crap because I was totally disconnected from them. But now I'm so totally disconnected from them that I just don't care anymore what they think of me, and I think think they are idiots or a-holes.
These people cannot hurt me. The worst thing they can do is fire me. That should be a major concern, but I really do not care anymore. I can't afford to care, it makes me crazy.
By the way, there are some nice people at work too that I like alot, but they still don't like me.
thanks, for listening.
You might try concentrating on the good things about your job. For example: your pay, the drive to work, what you produce, part of being a part of something larger than yourself (the company). If concentrating on the good things about your job doesn't work, just think about your hobbies and enjoy them as much as possible while not in your hours of work.
Yes, work is full of idiots. I work with a whole bunch of girls and it is insane. They mostly talk about "where did you get those shoes?" or how great crappy movies are. But this one girl, oh dear god, she is absolutely ret*d. They only way she will make it out of this crappy low wage job is to marry rich. I swear once we were sampling tea and I said that the tea was weak, really bad tea really. And this girl, the master of all tea attempted to enlighten me by saying "Well, just think of it as hot water with some flavor to it.... Yeah hot water with some flavor to it." And all I could think of was "s**t do I really look at stupid?" And everyone hates her, and I would think that she has AS too but she is way to dumb. All she can do well is writing all fancy. Once I made a lame attempt at converstation by saying "so you like calligraphy." Her reply was "No, just writing pretty."
But all in all if I zone out everyone, work is good. Actually pretty calming if the freakin oven isn't on.
I don't know why, but nobody picks on me at work anymore though they used to, all the time. I think it's because I make eye contact and laugh when they try to get to me. It's no fun to make fun of someone who doesn't react with a histrionic meltdown.
Don't feed the NTs, you'll only encourage them!
Readin your description, I get the impression that the only thing that makes you kick yourself out of bed in the morning and head for eight hours in h*ll, is the fact that something needs to be done to pay the bills.
Unless you're strained financially, or you dread the hunt for new job more than your current workplace, I'd sincerely contemplate finding another job pretty dang soon (admittingly easy for me to say since I've got some financial backing in case I loose my job). One thing is the need for an aspie to put some effort in "blending in" in an NT world, but nobody should have to put up with being the unwilling butt of immature pranks whilst striving to hold down a decent job!
The secret to a jolly good life, is finding a niche where you thrive as much as possible -- it would seem you're still in the process of finding yours...
Don't feed the NTs, you'll only encourage them!
Yes this is correct, and I indeed tried to make alot of eye contact anmd respond appropriately and "fit in" during my first 6 months or so there. The problem is I started to get comfortable, and so I let my guard down, started "being myself" more. That's when they caught on that I was different.
Now they have got me pegged, and a few of them really seem to enjoy making me squirm, and they have figured out how to do it.
And sometimes the more I try to act normal, it just seems like I'm trying to hard. I can't seem to strike the correct balance no matter how hard I try or don't try.
I dunno, maybe... I do feel like I want to get out of there, but I've been through this with so many jobs, and it is just so disappointing because I was really hoping it would be different this time. I'm going to try to stick with it a while longer I think, and focus on the work more, and less on the people.
I think the social aspects will be challenging for me anywhere, but this particular group of back-slapping frat boys that I work with is maybe worse than your average group of NT's.
It's possible that if you stick it out a little longer, several different things could happen...a frat boy could quit, or get fired for harrassment (begin documenting now, you never know). A new person could start that is more fun to pick on than you.
It usually sucks to be the new person anywhere. You already know these morons. Saves you the hassle of identifying and learning the morons at the next job.
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