I haven't had a meltdown in years am I still autistic?

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Ever since I moved to the city, I haven't had a meltdown. People at work would make me angry, but I'd just wait until I got home and say something like "So-&-So is such a dick wad!" to my cat and then basically forget about it until the next day when I had to deal with "So-&-so" again. I was never harassed or bullied personally at this place, a veterinary hospital about two hours from the main city. "So-&-So" was a veterinary technician who wasn't very nice to the animals and even admitted saying some pretty nasty things when the owners weren't around. Such as "I'm killing him!" when euthanizing a dog. She didn't seem to understand why one of the other technicians said she was sick in the head. Actually, there's another so-&-so, she just has her head up her butt most of the time.

Anyway, I've never had a meltdown since working there (I've never had a public meltdown since I was a teenager). But I've never had one when I got home either, I'd just complain to my cat and promise I'd never let that girl touch him if he ever had to go there. The vets themselves were nice and probably never understood the full extent of what was going on at that place. I did hear "Miss-Head-Stuck-Up-My-Butt" complain how one of the vets doesn't pay her enough. They BOTH complained the other day when it was time to come off their break and get back to work. The two of them always sit together at break time like high school girls (and even talk to each other like high school girls) and I wonder why they let me sit with them.

They're nice to me and never give me any trouble personally. I've never seen or heard of them actually physically hurting one of the animals, but still, saying "I'm killing him! I'm killing him!" as you euthanize a dog is actually rather disturbing. I've also heard she plays with the heads of decapitated animals (for rabies testing) and she seems to get a morbid pleasure in her voice when discussing animals that were decapitated. Won't be too surprised if I ever hear about this girl on the national news someday.

Anyhow, in the past, I probably would have had a meltdown and potentially put both of them in the hospital or at least called them horrible names that would have gotten me fired. I no longer work there anymore (mostly because the two-hour bus trip every day. I was getting sick from exhaustion) but those two clowns didn't make it hard to want to quit either. Plus I have another volunteer position coming up and would like some time to recover from exhaustion.

Anyhow, once I expressed this to my cat (or stuffed animal, chair, wall, some other inanimate object, I usually forgot about it.) Back when I lived with my parents I could never express anything. Actually, my parents wouldn't let me volunteer anywhere and were against me learning to drive myself. Supposedly autistic people couldn't drive. But then when I wanted to leave home, my mom basically had a temper tantrum and told me I couldn't (I was 27) and would have to go to a group home first to learn to be independent. My mom was also being a massive b***h to me at the time too (why I wanted to leave home in the first place, I didn't feel safe there to the point I called the police. But emotional abuse isn't taken seriously...or at least it wasn't then or there and they believed my mother's word over mine.

My mother will never admit to emotionally abusing me but we are on good terms now.) Anyway, ever since I moved to the city, and out of the boonies, I've NEVER had a meltdown. Public or private. I've seen OTHER people have meltdowns (I don't think they were exactly 100% NT), but I've never had once since I moved. I can never tell her to her face, but I think getting away from my mother is what helped. Anyway, is it possible to be autistic and NEVER have a meltdown ever again?

Roses for Autism found that autistics can do all sorts of jobs--telemarketing, driving the delivery van, putting together floral arrangments. The key is to have a supportive environment where people can try out different jobs until they find something they can do. It is a lot easier to avoid meltdowns if you have the right environment--like a boss who always has your back--no matter what.

It's possible for trauma and being the subject of head-games can cause autistic symptoms. But we can't tell if that's what's gonig on with you from an online posting.

I'm glad you are doing well! I'm in my 40's now and I've come to accept that meltdowns, even public meltdowns, are part of who I am and aren't going to go away. But I can minimize the damage. I'm not completely gone. I can keep myself and others around me safe while I'm in it.

helloMagicMeerkat
You sound like you are very empathetic with animals, like my son.
Your question.. well, my son's autistic and doesn't have meltdowns. Or that is, he used to get angry and then it culminated in one big falling apart, where it seems his hurt and pain from past trauma all surfaced, which i described in the thread Parents on the Spectrum. Since then, no more anger

Autism is thought to be a lifelong condition. People in general often get mellower as they get older.

Magical meerkat, I also haven't had a meltdown in years, although I would describe mine as more 'shutdowns'.
But I think you may be asking something else, because I have come to realize, and it took a long time, that my childhood had a lot of emotional abuse.
I struggle with sorting out what parts of the way I am are due to the abuse and what may be autism.
I wanted to suggest that another forum; OOTF.org (Out of the Fog) might help with some of your questions.
You are right that emotional abuse is often not taken seriously. I believe you, it was not your fault.

First of all congratulations on the job and moving out and getting a place of your own.

I don't get meltdowns often anymore like I used to as a teen. Ever since I became an adult, they got less. One of my aspie friends doesn't have meltdowns, never has since he was four years old.

Maybe you're not having meltdowns because you have moved out and have more control of your environment so there is less stress now for you to handle and also you have found a mature way of handling your feelings. Also maybe because you are not around the abuse like you used to be.

If meltdowns were your only symptom of autism, then you likely never had it to begin with.

If you are asking if "growing out of" one of many symptoms of autism means you're no longer autistic, the answer is, of course not.

My understanding is that Austism comes from the way brains are interconnected, and this is lifelong.

My understanding of Meltdpowns is that the usual cause is when the person becomes overloaded, particuarly with matters which the Autistic brain wiring means can't be handled intuitively.

From the lovely post you made, it looks like you have managed your life very well : you have a job which fits how you are, you have space and privacy, and you have tools like talking to your cat to release any baggage from the day.

I delight to read and share your content

It sounds to me like you are a normal, healthy Autistic person who has made some good choices that enable you to better cope with life. Your co-worker, on the other hand, sounds a bit sick in the head.

I'm 45 now, and I haven't anything like a meltdown for at least a decade - at least not in any public way. My ex would intentionally push my buttons until I lashed out (never physically against her, I hasten to add) and I'd frequently lose it in public settings. I'd break things and scream and otherwise behave irrationally. And during that same period of time there was one incident when a co-worker caused me to lose face one times too many in front of a customer, and I let loose with a torrent of angry words that could have easily gotten me fired.

Thankfully, I'm in a much better place today with a wife who respects me, and that has lead to much tranquility both inside and outside my home. I think getting out of a toxic home environment has everything to do with how you fare at work and elsewhere in public.

When I was little, I would have meltdowns more frequently. More than once it had to do with people cutting down trees (which I love deeply even to this day). Yesterday at work I noticed maintenance workers butchering several trees in the parking lot. They would probably term it "trimming," but it was to an excessive and almost certainly unhealthy degree - lopping off the entire lower half of limbs. It bothered me, as it always has, but instead of having a meltdown I just casually mentioned it to a co-worker since I couldn't very well tell them to stop.

I gotta be honest and say I've never had a meltdown over anything in my life o-o

My meltdowns have actually gotten worse as I've grown older. I rarely had them at all as a child, and they emerged somewhere in adolescence. Now I have maybe five or six in a year, and they can be quite serious, with self-injury and all. My boyfriend on the other hand, who is also autistic, hasn't had a meltdown since he was 14, so he claims. He does get angry very quickly when he's struggling to do something (it happens most when his video game characters keep dying), but I've never seen him in full-blown meltdown mode.

Never had a meltdown in my life, but was still dx'd with aspergers a couple years ago. So not getting recent meltdowns probably doesnt have anything to do no longer having autism.

Meltdowns are not part of the diagnostic criteria. Not everyone has them.

Like Startrekker, mine got much worse and much more frequent as I got older.

I'd also say that meltdowns aren't a diagnostic criteria, as not everyone with autism has them. Autism is something one has for life, even if one appears to improve later in life, the traits are still there. It's like saying that those who don't flap their arms, rock, or make noises/talk to themselves aren't autistic because they don't have those stereotypical stims.