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maru99
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05 Nov 2016, 10:42 am

Hi, I am a single mum of 5 years old son with HFA. Some professionals hinted that he is gifted so I started researching on it. But I ended up with finding myself possibly gifted or not neurotypical.

I believe you are the smartest people in the word (Many of you are gifted) and I would like to seek some advises from you in the followings.

1. I hate routines and I never studied. Routines are something that I want to break. This inability to adhere to schedule or any tasks affect my academic skills and other life skills greatly. I would like to go to University and complete degree. But in order to achieve this, I must stop doing university studying in the last minutes.

How can I retain/create will power and stick to routine/schedule to succeed academically?

2. I see many things in a flash. Those are very often explaining relations and concepts, predictions. (pattern thinking). I also pick up many things such as people's emotions, happenings in the world, other families problems (difficulties in rising kids with ASD), so on. I don't have sensory problems. End of each day, I get too exhausted and too tired to do little things. I just manage to live in functional way but this mental fatigue is holding me back from reaching my potential.

How can I deal this kind of oversensitiveness every day?

3. I accumulate junks(junk means thoughts, information) in my head every each day. There are good junks and bad junks. I really need to have outlet of my creative thoughts/other thoughts/infomation. NT people talk to each other or talk to family members about it. But I prefer not to talk to anyone because no one understand what I talk about.

How Can I proactively seek outlet of my creative thinking, insights? What is your personal experience?

I have been trying to simulate NT (so called normal people) for decades so that I can be one day like Normal people and having a kind of happy life. But I now believe I am not NT. I cannot solve my "problems" by copying NT people. I need to deal with myself in my own unique way..

Thank you in advance.



BTDT
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05 Nov 2016, 11:15 am

Ideally, you would develop a special interest in something that is economically valuable to others.



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05 Nov 2016, 11:30 am

Autism often runs in famlies.

You seem to have issues with what is called executive functioning which involves planning and a lot more. Executive Dysfunctions are common in people with Autism and ADHD. Not bieng able to stick to routines is suggestive of ADHD.

We can not diagnose you based on one post. I would suggest talking to your sons clinicion to see if he or she can assess you or recomend someone who is qualified to do an assesment of an adult female. You need to find out what your issues are in order to figure out the best treatment.


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05 Nov 2016, 3:55 pm

maru99 wrote:
I believe you are the smartest people in the word (Many of you are gifted)


Just no. Have you read through these forums much?

I'm not sure what may be causing your fatigue, but check out the HSP (highly sensitive person) concept.


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maru99
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05 Nov 2016, 3:56 pm

Thanks, BTDT, ASPartOfMe.

I have noticed there are some people on spectrum in my family side and my son's dad's family side. There is a possibility of that I am aspie too.

We are living in English Speaking Country (English is my second language) however, here I don't see many treatment options for Adult Asperger (especially female) or executive dysfunction(if I don't have AS). So I don't know who can give me "treatment" once I receive diagnosis. I really have no idea.

My special interest now is actually autism. I would like to be a health professional in the field. That is why I need to go to University.



Last edited by maru99 on 05 Nov 2016, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

maru99
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05 Nov 2016, 4:31 pm

Hi, starkid.

Yes, I don't read things in this forum everyday but I found many people on this forum are smart.

Many traits of Highly sensitive person fit me. Thank you for your suggestion.

I definitely have something else too.

I do have

Many traits of ADHD,

few traits of AS, (But that is what I think)

Many traits of Gifted.



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05 Nov 2016, 6:19 pm

maru99 wrote:
Hi, I am a single mum of 5 years old son with HFA. Some professionals hinted that he is gifted so I started researching on it. But I ended up with finding myself possibly gifted or not neurotypical.

I believe you are the smartest people in the word (Many of you are gifted) and I would like to seek some advises from you in the followings.

1. I hate routines and I never studied. Routines are something that I want to break. This inability to adhere to schedule or any tasks affect my academic skills and other life skills greatly. I would like to go to University and complete degree. But in order to achieve this, I must stop doing university studying in the last minutes.

How can I retain/create will power and stick to routine/schedule to succeed academically?

2. I see many things in a flash. Those are very often explaining relations and concepts, predictions. (pattern thinking). I also pick up many things such as people's emotions, happenings in the world, other families problems (difficulties in rising kids with ASD), so on. I don't have sensory problems. End of each day, I get too exhausted and too tired to do little things. I just manage to live in functional way but this mental fatigue is holding me back from reaching my potential.

How can I deal this kind of oversensitiveness every day?

3. I accumulate junks(junk means thoughts, information) in my head every each day. There are good junks and bad junks. I really need to have outlet of my creative thoughts/other thoughts/infomation. NT people talk to each other or talk to family members about it. But I prefer not to talk to anyone because no one understand what I talk about.

How Can I proactively seek outlet of my creative thinking, insights? What is your personal experience?

I have been trying to simulate NT (so called normal people) for decades so that I can be one day like Normal people and having a kind of happy life. But I now believe I am not NT. I cannot solve my "problems" by copying NT people. I need to deal with myself in my own unique way..

Thank you in advance.


OK, so what you're referring to is the Mystical Fairy steriotype of autism. Basically, that's where people think that we are some kind of human evolution. We are called Indigo Children. We are super geniuses in disguise. There are all sorts of variations. They are all meaning to be complimentary, but they fall short. Why? Because we are human, just like everyone else. We are not actually from the planet Vulcan. We are from here. Right the same place you are. Saying otherwise, even out of a sense of admiration, ultimately stigmatizes us further because it denies us our full humanness.

Some autistic people are super smart. Some are not. In general, I would say that we are geniuses in exactly the same proportion as non-autistic people. But there are higher numbers of autistic people with intellectual impairments. So, you'll probably find us slightly less intelligent than NTs if you insist on taking things on average. (But who would really want to do that? We are a very diverse population!)

The things you listed aren't specific to autism. They do seem to be specific to high intelligence.

The only place you seem autistic to me is where you claim that you have no sensory sensitivities, but then say you are exhausted at the end of the day. Why is that? You could have an invisible disability like fibromyalgia, but you also might have sensory sensitivities that you were trained early and hard to ignore as a child. After all, how do you KNOW that other people see or hear in the same way you do?

Your writing style makes me think that there is more to your story. That and the fact that your kiddo is autistic. Maybe the autism is somewhere in the parts you haven't told us here. But this post just sounds like someone with a much higher than average IQ. It can be pretty isolating, especially if you haven't found a way to connect with other people who think like you.



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05 Nov 2016, 7:01 pm

You might check out the book "Gifted Grownups." I found it very helpful.

I am both gifted and on the spectrum, and at first I thought it was just my high IQ that made me different. Then I met a few people with very high IQs who were not like me and more like everyone else. Then I found out I'm on the spectrum. I also have some trauma in my past that has had lasting impacts on me. Piecing out how much is due to each facet of who I am is difficult. Overall, I would say that my high IQ probably has the greatest effect on my life, the social isolation, etc. Having mild Asperger's definitely makes me different too, but I don't personally see it as a huge deal. Being exposed to true evil and insanity as a child definitely makes me different than a lot of people. All the stuff that people care about in society seems incredibly trivial.



maru99
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05 Nov 2016, 7:49 pm

Hi, somanyspoons.

I am sorry if I am being generalising or stereotyping autism too much. I am very aware of any statistics and difficulties that people with autism facing every days.

I just found coming to this forum and reading many posts is mentally stimulating experience(for me, I don't know how other people are feeling about it). That is why I refer many of you as smart. I hope no one in this forum got offended. Also, it is great place that I can know more about autism and people give me really good insights.

I know what you are talking about. My son is doing good at the moment, but I see a lot of deficits in many different area. So my son seems smart right now to many people (even professionals) but that is not real picture. We don't know how he is going to be 5 year later.

I am aware of some autism traits are definitely in me but I am not really sure which part is affecting my overall abilities most and how much and weather I am off the spectrum or on the spectrum.

I get very tired after seeing people, friends. It is fun to see people and I enjoy their company, but I get tired after that. I feel also often rejected by people in the beginning of friendship or acquaintance. I feel also rejected when I talk to them about what I really think. So If I am careful those with 2 things "beginning and topic", I am kind of OK.
When I was teenager, I was mentally withdrawn from peers. I was physically there but my heart was not there.

I would say I may be under responsive in sensory wise rather than over responsive if I have definite sensory problems. AS you said in the post, I never know because I have never experienced how other people feel every day. That is very true.

AS you said, we are all human being so there are no border lines with clear cuts between Giftedness, Autism, ADHD, other developmental disabilities/Conditions. Some people have mixed conditions, in that case, those conditions are all mixed up and some parts with darker colour, some parts are lighter colour.



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05 Nov 2016, 9:11 pm

As people are mainly nihilistic or morally-relativistic, nowadays, they will never let themselves say that anything is wrong. Anything.

So, quirks and habituations are never impediments, no matter how strange, unless they cause you social problems or emotional discomfort.

In general, it's considered ok, to be weird. (Sorry, but there is a word for it.) Secularly-speaking, if he's not unhappy or making other people unhappy, it doesn't get diagnosed.

Quote:
I have been trying to simulate NT (so called normal people) for decades so that I can be one day like Normal people and having a kind of happy life. But I now believe I am not NT. I cannot solve my "problems" by copying NT people. I need to deal with myself in my own unique way.


I am not saying that I can do everything myself, or go forever without speaking-up, but, in my experience, when you tell someone your vulnerabilities, enough times, they will usually consider you needy.

NT people have emotional baggage, too, just put their best foot, forward (ideally). It's considered more authoritative, to speak to your strong points, focus on positivity, or work completed.

It leads to NT's sugarcoating necessary truths, and being the politest of frenemies. NT people are trying to simulate normality.



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05 Nov 2016, 11:31 pm

Have you tried accepting that you may have ASD (or be ND) and this is how your life it? You currently seem to feel that you cannot be happy whilst you have ASD but, if you do, there's nothing you can really do about it. If you accept that you have challenges, you can learn to be happy in spite of this, whereas if you think you'll only be happy when you stop being ND, you probably won't be. Having ASD does not necessarily mean that you can't be happy in life. :D


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maru99
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08 Nov 2016, 7:04 am

Hi,
FandomConnection,
friedmacguffins,
BioLife.

Thank you for your posts. They are all insightful.

I really understand NT people pursue normality. Our (or mine) baggage are normally a lot heavier and more complex that NT people would never understand. I have been aware of that I am more needy so I never tell them what I am really up to. (I agree with your post)

I may have AS but I feel executive dysfunctions are more problematic and more affecting me greatly rather than social /communication issues.

I am not sure feeling of being isolated comes from
1. Communication or social skill issues
or
2. Difference in level of Intelligence between myself and many others.
or
3. Experience of Rejection.

Thanks to your posts, I believe now I may have ADHD(definitely) and giftedness(maybe) and AS tendencies altogether.

I will read the book that you mentioned.