How do you start a conversation?

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Hello, I have Asperger's and i am wondering how i would start a conversation with strangers
i know that some people say Hello how are you but what would you say after that and what happens when they don't respond? I say hi and nobody reply's i don't speak to people offline often but i'm having the problem both offline and online i'm bad with communication. I'm 22 years old and i wasn't taught how to socialize as a child because everyone was more focused on my speech and how to stay words when i was a child. So at 22 i'm basically lost on how to actually communicate.

Hi, me too i dont start conversation and i usually fail at communication. I also need help about this.

An easy way to start is to find something you like about them and tell them you like it and ask them about it. That usually breaks down their defenses and it softens them. Then thank them for telling you about it. You may have a similar item that you like. You can share about that with them.

That's a good start and it will get you more comfortable to initiate conversations. After you get better at that we can help you with more.

Here is a very real example of exactly how I talk to strangers sometimes. And it helps if you really genuinely like what you are asking about.

Skibum: excuse me miss, I was looking at your purse. It's beautiful.

At that point she will just say thank you and move in or she will start to tell me more about her purse because she is proud of it. If she just moves on it's fine. It's all good. If she wants to tell me more then I listen. Then I might tell her what I like about it. I love the leather or the embroidery or whatever I specifically love about it.

Then I say thank you for showing me and tell her to have a great day.

And that's a great beginner conversation. It does not have to be long and complicated. Just learning to engage is enough for now.

Hope this helps.

Working at a job where you are required to speak to groups and audiences is a great way to learn about speaking to others. For me, it was a way to learn a new "social" kind of masking.

Now, even for me, speaking to just one person who I don't know already is still difficult.

I am hardly a communication expert myself, but I think a big part of it is not being outcome dependant. If you want to talk to someone, the worst thing you can do is have some kind of expectation about how they will respond. Some people may not respond well for all kinds of reasons. They may be busy, dog just died, wife left them.. and so may have other things on their mind.

Luckily there are 7.4 billion people in the world, so you aren't going to be limited for people to talk to. Eventually someone will bite. Just say what you want to say, and if they respond well, then go with it. If they don't use it as a lesson, learn from it and then move on.