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How do you feel about the word ret*d?

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funeralxempire
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23 Jan 2020, 2:02 pm

carlos55 wrote:
Reminds me of the racist "N word" used frequently in music and movies by black people.

The word has different meanings depending on who's using it against or about who.

Its often used to reffer to a slave like existance, regardless of skin colour.

When a white person uses it its quite rightly very offensive.


You're really only scraping the surface of how it gets used. It's a greeting, a term of endearment, a synonym of comrade/compatriot/buddy and sometimes even a slur (but milder than the other slur usage).

It's used to address an entire room, it's used to address only the black people in a room, it's used to refer to friends of any racial background if they're close enough, if you're from Bronx or Brooklyn or Queens you can probably get away with using it on a mixtape, even if you're white, but otherwise I wouldn't try it. People sometimes talk about 'passes' or 'privilege' but that's kind of an absurd concept since how can you get permission from an entire demographic?

There's black people who are hostile to all uses, there's others who are more tolerant of it when used by PoC, and then there's Leakaveli:


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cyberdad
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23 Jan 2020, 5:24 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Whale_Tuune wrote:
I care more about how people treat us than the words they use. .


I care about both...its not rocket science to remove the r-word from your vocabluary


It's not, but I won't and if you don't like it that'll be your problem and not mine - especially if at the moment I'm using it in a self-referential way.


I guess folks don't like their 1st amendment rights compromised


Remember, I'm from Canada. I have Charter Rights, but not 1st Amendment rights. How are those rights protected in Australia? I assume there's something analogous to the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.


Australia does not have explicit freedom of speech in any constitutional or statutory declaration of rights, with the exception of political speech which is protected :roll: from criminal prosecution under common law

Under Australia's anti-discrimination law it is unlawful to discriminate on the basis of a number of protected attributes including age, disability, race, sex, intersex status, gender identity and sexual orientation in certain areas of public life, including education and employment.



cyberdad
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23 Jan 2020, 5:29 pm

In Australia there is an active campaign to remove the r-word
https://probonoaustralia.com.au/news/20 ... rd-retard/

There is a precedence in this country for people being charged with hate crime for using the r-word (although not soley for using the word) to attack others

There is well established literature that suggests disability hate crimes often get primed from using the r-word
https://www.theguardian.com/society/joe ... rime-abuse



funeralxempire
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24 Jan 2020, 12:54 pm

cyberdad wrote:

Australia does not have explicit freedom of speech in any constitutional or statutory declaration of rights, with the exception of political speech which is protected :roll: from criminal prosecution under common law.


I'm sorry to hear that. :(


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27 Jan 2020, 12:28 am

funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:

Australia does not have explicit freedom of speech in any constitutional or statutory declaration of rights, with the exception of political speech which is protected :roll: from criminal prosecution under common law.


I'm sorry to hear that. :(


We have had unusual situations where right wing politicians in Australia have said and done things which normal folks would be charged with discrimination under the vilifications laws.

Best examples are former immigration ministers Kevin Andrews and current minister Peter Dutton who blocked immigration from the entire continent of Africa over media driven claims that African migrants form violent gangs (despite no actual statistical evidence to back up claims that Africans are more violent than regular Australians) .

If an Australian employer tried the same trick to block employment of Africans because they are prone to aggression they would be charged and their business closed down. The Australian laws seem to protect racist politicians.



And So It Goes
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31 Jan 2020, 12:37 pm

I'm pretty desensitised by words such as "ret*d", and I often find attempts to offend funny, as there can be unintentional comedic context behind their statements.

I'm my own worst enemy, so every insult or attempts at antagonising or degrading me fail, as I've called myself pretty much every name under the sun, and felt every way the said offender intends me to feel.

Depression, a blessing in disguise.


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31 Jan 2020, 7:19 pm

And So It Goes wrote:
I'm pretty desensitised by words such as "ret*d", and I often find attempts to offend funny, as there can be unintentional comedic context behind their statements.

I'm my own worst enemy, so every insult or attempts at antagonising or degrading me fail, as I've called myself pretty much every name under the sun, and felt every way the said offender intends me to feel.

Depression, a blessing in disguise.


I agree with you. It's good to take ownership of the word which takes away the power from the NT trying to inflict hurt. However you don't have to internalise their hate. Why?

NT people learn to compartmentalise their internal conflicts and put it in a drawer somewhere in the recess of their mind. I think it's called cognitive dissonance where you internalise something other people do which you don't agree with but appear (on the surface) to accept/not be perturbed. But this eventually changes you and I think may be one the contributing factors that make NTs get mental health issues later in life.

SJWs annoy people but at least they make a stand opposing things in society on principle which in some ways can be liberating for the mind even though they can be annoying.



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01 Feb 2020, 1:00 am

How do you feel about the word ret*d?

It's f*****g ret*d. :lol:


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cyberdad
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01 Feb 2020, 2:22 am

funeralxempire wrote:
How do you feel about the word ret*d?

It's f*****g ret*d. :lol:


Ok you win :lol:



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01 Feb 2020, 8:10 am

Huh. My lack of skill in compartmentalization has negative effects on my mental health. I can't seem to put my anxiety away.

My peers and family (many of whom are very intelligent when they want to be) are good at compartmentalization, even when it makes them seem illogical. It's much less stressful for them.


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01 Feb 2020, 9:22 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Huh. My lack of skill in compartmentalization has negative effects on my mental health. I can't seem to put my anxiety away.

My peers and family (many of whom are very intelligent when they want to be) are good at compartmentalization, even when it makes them seem illogical. It's much less stressful for them.


Very true for me too. On all fronts. You're so self aware as I did not grasp the concept of compartmentalization, till a therapist brought it up.
Dr Tony Attwood and the lady whose name I forget (she was diagnosed as an adult and had horses) both said women with ASD can be more emotion-driven than other people. Or at least emotions have a greater hold and this may be why...lack of compartmentalization.

On the other hand as Dr Tony rightly pointed out women with ASD can be exceptionally gifted at caring professions and are very compassionate.


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01 Feb 2020, 5:32 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
Dr Tony Attwood and the lady whose name I forget (she was diagnosed as an adult and had horses) both said women with ASD can be more emotion-driven than other people. Or at least emotions have a greater hold and this may be why...lack of compartmentalization.

On the other hand as Dr Tony rightly pointed out women with ASD can be exceptionally gifted at caring professions and are very compassionate.


I think you are referring to Dr Temple Grandin (lady who researches horses)

Compartmentalisation is linked to Festinger's cognitive dissonance. Most NTs learn to behave in a manner that is inconsistent with their beliefs/attitudes in order to socially conform. Classic example is in school where your friends might decide to pass a cigarette or marijuana and smoke. An NT friend might believe smoking is bad but accept it to please their friends. A friend with anxiety may not have a filter or control their emotion and blurt out their beliefs and refuse to take it.



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04 Feb 2020, 11:35 am

cyberdad wrote:
I agree with you. It's good to take ownership of the word which takes away the power from the NT trying to inflict hurt. However you don't have to internalise their hate. Why?


I don't know. I guess I've used it as a coping mechanism. My partner often gets alarmed when she jokes with me about me, and how I often take the self-deprecating too far. Something I've tried to address in previous counselling sessions, but it has never been fully resolved.

cyberdad wrote:
NT people learn to compartmentalise their internal conflicts and put it in a drawer somewhere in the recess of their mind. I think it's called cognitive dissonance where you internalise something other people do which you don't agree with but appear (on the surface) to accept/not be perturbed. But this eventually changes you and I think may be one the contributing factors that make NTs get mental health issues later in life.


There have been many times when I have displayed and executed cognitive dissonance. As you state in a further post, I've done this, as it's helped me conform to what is the 'norm' of society. The stiff upper lip nature of this has helped me get through some distressing and confusing situations, but my body and mind do pay for it, feeling absolutely exhausted afterwards.

cyberdad wrote:
SJWs annoy people but at least they make a stand opposing things in society on principle which in some ways can be liberating for the mind even though they can be annoying.


Which is fair enough, but some (not all) more often then not, contradict themselves and backpeddle with adverse reactions when outed of this behaviour.


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"And I've embraced the calamity, with a detachment and a passive disinterest."

"I hear voices...But I ignore them and just carry on killing."


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05 Feb 2020, 1:48 am

And So It Goes wrote:
There have been many times when I have displayed and executed cognitive dissonance. As you state in a further post, I've done this, as it's helped me conform to what is the 'norm' of society. The stiff upper lip nature of this has helped me get through some distressing and confusing situations, but my body and mind do pay for it, feeling absolutely exhausted afterwards.


Life is about trade-offs. If you want to assimilate with NTs then (yes) there is a price to pay. Only you will know if that price is too steep. Compromise and coping certainly do help with adaptation.

And So It Goes wrote:
some (not all) more often then not, contradict themselves and backpeddle with adverse reactions when outed of this behaviour.


Do you mean SJWs or NTs in general? in my experience all NTs have a tendency to backpeddle after contradicting themselves. I think it's a form of social equilibrium that's innate in us NTs that we try and restore order although physical altercations are sufficiently common to suggest that backpedaling doesn't always work :lol:



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06 Feb 2020, 9:03 am

cyberdad wrote:
Life is about trade-offs. If you want to assimilate with NTs then (yes) there is a price to pay. Only you will know if that price is too steep. Compromise and coping certainly do help with adaptation.


This is why a lot of such behaviour is in the past. Present assimilating is used for situations such as negotiating busy shopping centres etc. Still an exhausting process!

cyberdad wrote:
Do you mean SJWs or NTs in general? in my experience all NTs have a tendency to backpeddle after contradicting themselves. I think it's a form of social equilibrium that's innate in us NTs that we try and restore order although physical altercations are sufficiently common to suggest that backpedaling doesn't always work :lol:


A bit of both. :lol: It's human nature to contradict and backpeddle, but it's when others try to defend straw man arguments and resort to adverse profanity as a first line of defence when proven wrong. :roll:


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"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

"And I've embraced the calamity, with a detachment and a passive disinterest."

"I hear voices...But I ignore them and just carry on killing."


cyberdad
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07 Feb 2020, 1:20 am

And So It Goes wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Life is about trade-offs. If you want to assimilate with NTs then (yes) there is a price to pay. Only you will know if that price is too steep. Compromise and coping certainly do help with adaptation.


This is why a lot of such behaviour is in the past. Present assimilating is used for situations such as negotiating busy shopping centres etc. Still an exhausting process!


Assimilating according to group-think is a lot more comprehensive and broader than just negotiating shopping centres. But I take your point, factoring autism means you have to fight one battle at a time in order to fit in.

Group-think in personal conversation means compromising personal values/virtues/beliefs in order to accommodate your NT friends. Unfortunately many Aspies prefer to join in when the weak are being picked on rather than stand up for their principles.