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cemil
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09 Feb 2019, 9:01 am

Like, ninety nine point nine nine percent of the human population on this planet ? probably including me so dont take my number too seriously



Piri Alchami
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11 Feb 2019, 3:02 pm

Nist498 wrote:
I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.


I agree with you, nist498. In my junior high years there was a kid who was different--can't say what he could have been diagnosed as, but he was definitely eccentric and odd--bud I still don't recall anyone calling him a ret*d. However, we did use the word to describe ideas or situations.

It's just something which slows down progress...whatever it may be. So, aren't politics ret*d??



cyberdad
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12 Feb 2019, 2:14 am

Piri Alchami wrote:
Nist498 wrote:
I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.


I agree with you, nist498. In my junior high years there was a kid who was different--can't say what he could have been diagnosed as, but he was definitely eccentric and odd--bud I still don't recall anyone calling him a ret*d. However, we did use the word to describe ideas or situations.

It's just something which slows down progress...whatever it may be. So, aren't politics ret*d??


I guess it's like racism and sexism and homophobia. it all depends on whether the word was used against you as to whether you think it's irrelevant. People who were bullied and called the "r" word will experience some level of PTSD and invariably the word triggers memories of past bullying.

It's bad enough Apsies are thought to have no empathy and using the "r" word for jokes kind of reinforces that stereotype.



coschristi
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01 Mar 2019, 11:57 am

Oh, that was my initial label when "identified" during the 2d grade. My Hyperlexia interfered with my education quite a bit. Which is somewhat ironic.

I then tested at the reading level of an H.S. graduate with a high IQ so I was removed from the SPED classes.

My educators had never seen ASD before much less been trained in assessment so I was regarded as; "Well, she's not stupid but there is definitely something wrong with her!" For the rest of my years of K-12 education. Which ended in the 9th grade.

I typically muster up feigned mild outrage at the use of the word due to my very real outrage at the current propagandist statement of "There have always been autistic people! They were just misdiagnosed as ... mentally ill, ret*d ... nerds, geeks, etc ..."

... See; because no there has not & if they had seen those "like me", before me (1970s); I would have been the first to know.



banyanya
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01 Mar 2019, 5:09 pm

i don't really have an issue with the word when it is used jokingly. i can understand if some people don't like it. it depends on whether the intent behind its use is malicious or not i think for me.


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BlueIris24
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01 Mar 2019, 5:17 pm

It's a nasty word, but it can also be a funny one. It really depends on the context in which it is used.



Chummy
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02 Mar 2019, 12:08 am

It would be an insult for ret*d people to be compared to some non-retarded (even here on the forums) who appear to demonstrate really low IQ levels and generally toxic behaviour.

I would have thought ASD people knew better, but... nope. ASD's are no saints, they demonstrate all the trash and sickening things that are apparent in our ("NT") society. My uncle has mental retardation, and he's a sweet person. So I don't see it as an insult, rather as a condition, just like ASD.

Whether some people are ret*ds without having the actual DSM condition, that's per individual basis



cyberdad
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02 Mar 2019, 2:00 am

Chummy wrote:
It would be an insult for ret*d people to be compared to some non-retarded (even here on the forums) who appear to demonstrate really low IQ levels and generally toxic behaviour.

I would have thought ASD people knew better, but... nope. ASD's are no saints, they demonstrate all the trash and sickening things that are apparent in our ("NT") society. My uncle has mental retardation, and he's a sweet person. So I don't see it as an insult, rather as a condition, just like ASD.

Whether some people are ret*ds without having the actual DSM condition, that's per individual basis


Thanks, I was beginning to think I was the only one who found this whole debate offensive.



typhoeuszombie
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02 Mar 2019, 11:55 pm

When assaulting someone personally because of their limitations then it is inappropriate. I have been called it many times having gone through special ed but its kind of a word you throw around when frustrated about something stupid and you don't think of the implications behind the word and its history. We should try to avoid using it but sometimes we will slip because people piss us off.

I worked with special needs adults and my boss told me that the technical term was ret*d but I never felt comfortable telling special needs adults they were ret*d because to me they were just different and lot smarter than people gave them credit for so I will never call a special needs adult ret*d because I think its a lie but I am not overly PC over words and personally I wish there we at least some adult threads where we could be more liberal with our language but I will respect the rules.

I must admit though I will never say the word that was used against blacks and I don't think I even need to mention the letter. I hate that word because of the hate behind it. I am a big fan of Martin Luther King Jr. not just because of his message of equality and inclusion of all backgrounds but his message of Democratic socialism and government aid to the people in need as necessary for true equality among all Americans. I am as pale as a ghost but try to stand up for minority rights because of the surge of racist whites coming out of the closet as a result of the current administration. It was MLK Jr.'s socialist ideals that got him murdered by those cowards.

I digress, but the point I am getting at is I understand why someone would never want to hear certain words uttered because of the background of them. I think being able to talk about sensitive issues is not something to be offended by but something to consider because how else can you improve social interaction unless you talk about the negative taboos in society. Don't be overly PC, just be respectful. There is a difference. If you don't learn how to discuss these kinds of issues civilly than you will never grow as an individual and you will be too weak to debate people who actually do have negative intentions with their argument and won't respect what you consider offensive and what will you do when they freely blast at the mouth everything you hate.

Also if you do not respect the freedom of speech of the vilest person you can think of then you do not support free speech at all. That does not mean we cannot set strict standards on ourselves in what we do and say BUT the most we can do is politely ask rephrasing but you can't always expect people to go along with your convictions. A woman said the word I despise to me as if I condoned her racist views and I just politely told her I don't like that word. (or her racist stereotypes)



cyberdad
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03 Mar 2019, 4:37 am

Look it's really not rocket science.

When speaking in public we avoid using words that we know cause harm to some people.

It's entirely possible to have an educated conversation without resorting to such words which only really serve to demonstrate to others that the speaker lacks refinement.

I understand younger people feel the need to have their own "hip talk" and take ownership of words based on the intention behind it's use. The bottom line, however, is if a word causes harm then it's never funny or "hip"



green0star
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03 Mar 2019, 9:42 am

My brother called my sister "ret*d" because she "put a man before her kids" or something to that extent or another. It seems more an inaccurate statement then anything else but I really don't like that word since it was used against me years ago.



cyberdad
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04 Mar 2019, 2:16 am

green0star wrote:
My brother called my sister "ret*d" because she "put a man before her kids" or something to that extent or another. It seems more an inaccurate statement then anything else but I really don't like that word since it was used against me years ago.

Your brother could have used the word "selfish" or "self-centred"



SuperEuroNEET
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05 Mar 2019, 11:12 pm

Honestly depends on the context. To be clear, I was described as a ret*d a fair bit as a child, and I don't like being referred to as one if I think that I'm being targeted specifically because of my autism. That said I use it too and I think it's a funny word to describe somebody as stupid. I wonder if that isn't hypocritical though. I don't exactly think that individual ability is a binary thing, or that autism is a binary thing or something that only exists once it's diagnosed... so it's not like being 'targeted' is a something that is so clearly identified. I'll probably stop using the word.



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27 Nov 2019, 9:41 pm

it is an unnecessary word that contributes nothing of benefit. non-specific, used to demean people almost 100% of the time, anything that contributes to nastiness is not worth acknowledging or using when better words exist.

it's like 'motherf----er'. that one....it's such a yucky word likely invented by a serial killer, and people don't mind using it without thinking about how sickening it is (and not the 'street' meaning of 'sickening')


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livingwithautism
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23 Dec 2019, 11:35 pm

I don't like that word, however, it's the intent behind it that I really dislike.



Mona Pereth
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24 Dec 2019, 11:21 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
It depends the way it is bieng used. That accurate descriptive words become unacceptable to use because people use them to bully and insult people irks me.

"ret*d" is actually not an "accurate descriptive word." It conflates two different things: (1) developmental delay and (2) intellectual disability. Literally, it refers to the former. But it more commonly refers to the latter.

It is possible to be "ret*d" in the sense of developmentally delayed without being "ret*d" in the sense of intellectually disabled. Examples include many "high-functioning" autistic people who fit the DSM IV criteria for "autistic disorder" or "PDD-NOS" rather than "Asperger's disorder."

I personally was slow to learn to walk and slow to learn to talk. And, when I was little, my parents worried that I was "ret*d." But I ended up doing very well academically.


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