How do you feel about the word ret*d?
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,454
Location: Long Island, New York
I agree with the idea it is all about context. There is nothing offensive about saying for example "flame retardant" or "mental retardation was the old diagnosis for intellectual disability"
I don't think this is what people are concerned with when it (the r word) is used as a noun.
I doubt you would openly use the n-word or the f-word because people who are black or gay would be offended. But I could come up with a lame excuse that there is a country in Africa called Niger or that a Spanish person uses "negro" to talk about something black or that a pile of wood lit on fire is called a fa***t...we know that's not what offends
Any use of these words offends a few people who are loud about it these days. Should we ban all use of these words because it is going to offend a few people? Should we only ban those words when it is used as a verb?
To me the WP rules against personal attacks should take care of offensive use of those words in most of the situations where those words are used as a verb. Anything else can slip into language policing/censorship
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
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Even though I am neither, I find it offensive and I'd never use them myself. Although, I've also heard people use "autistic" as an insult directed towards people who are clearly neurotypical and that upsets me just as much.
This. I don't care about "offensive" in the social justice sense but I do care about being a decent human being. It comes across as juvenile and unnecessary. If you disagree with something there are better ways to react than to throw slurs.
I agree with the idea it is all about context. There is nothing offensive about saying for example "flame retardant" or "mental retardation was the old diagnosis for intellectual disability"
I don't think this is what people are concerned with when it (the r word) is used as a noun.
I doubt you would openly use the n-word or the f-word because people who are black or gay would be offended. But I could come up with a lame excuse that there is a country in Africa called Niger or that a Spanish person uses "negro" to talk about something black or that a pile of wood lit on fire is called a fa***t...we know that's not what offends
Any use of these words offends a few people who are loud about it these days. Should we ban all use of these words because it is going to offend a few people? Should we only ban those words when it is used as a verb?
To me the WP rules against personal attacks should take care of offensive use of those words in most of the situations where those words are used as a verb. Anything else can slip into language policing/censorship
I accept realistically it's taken on context and it's up to the discretion of the moderator. Common decency should prevail (in theory) but I guess that's up to the individual to decide what words they choose to throw around.
I have been called "socially ret*d" and though the person who said it had no idea I was autistic, it's absolutely true.
So, in terms of the literal meaning of the word, there's no reason to be offended by it, if it's accurate.
In terms of the word being used as a slang insult, it's pretty much meaningless to me. I get that it's just another way of calling someone stupid, but it's such a childish slur, I can't really take it seriously. It's the sort of thing you expect to hear from 8 year olds. Doesn't bother me, it just sounds silly.
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"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks
It's a slur, same kind as the n word and should be seen as as bad as the n word.
People shouldn't use groups of people as an insult at all. When someone does it is a duel insult, also saying that the group is at least as bad as the recipient.
For an example, "Neo-Nazis are such (R-words)"
Now, anyone who could of been encompassed into it at one point are being used to insult Neo-Nazis, meaning the person who did it is making them at least as bad.
A lot of people were giving this as a diagnoses, it used to just be a go to for a lot of things, you didn't even have to have a ID.
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People shouldn't use groups of people as an insult at all. When someone does it is a duel insult, also saying that the group is at least as bad as the recipient.
For an example, "Neo-Nazis are such (R-words)"
Now, anyone who could of been encompassed into it at one point are being used to insult Neo-Nazis, meaning the person who did it is making them at least as bad.
A lot of people were giving this as a diagnoses, it used to just be a go to for a lot of things, you didn't even have to have a ID.
I agree that the r-word is a slur.
When I'm at school, I see the word autistic being used as if it were synonymous with r****d. People in my grade and my classes act like the two words are the same, and I like to say that at my school, autism is the new r-word. I also once heard some girl at my school say something like, "Down syndrome deluxe," when I was in my history teacher's classroom for lunch last year. Apparently, gay is the new r-word as well.
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I am no longer using WP. Please PM me if you want to talk.
I feel meh about it.
Thrown out in a childish casual way (might be my era of upbringing) it does not trigger any anxiety or anger.
I feel different if it is used while hazing and surrounding a person, regardless if they do or do not have a condition. But bullying can use ANY word. yesterday's compliment can become the slur of tomorrow.
ret*d is a slur, an insult but really in most cases, words are just that. Separate from Downs, ret*d is a genuine description meaning slow and is also used in other applications. If you are being slow, you are indeed being ret*d.
I really do not find myself personally affronted nor upset on other's behalf just because a word is thrown out
If I overhear/ am called a beaner.. or a cougar.. or ugly... liberal... nazi... milf... etc... same thing.
Even "Aspie" and "Autistic" are becoming new go-to slurs.
And after overuse to escape culpability during incidences in armed services is an automatic banned condition for enlistment since last 5 years. It used to be a don't ask- don't tell. It can be in your records but ignored. They figure you make it through basic and school, you are "normal" enough. Not anymore.
I grew up when idiots are ret*ds, losers are "gay", bad things are bogus/bummer and your peers are dudes... even when girls. And your mixed race children will be spotted!/Striped! (my moms mum in law used that one on her hispanic heritage, my grandma said it would happen if I ever involved with a 'colored' person). Lol my native history from my pale, ginger dad made me darker than either relative. And the n-word. I never could even figure why african mix were called 'black'. Being literal aspie-typical.. they are brown. I think I have only met one person dark enough to call black in all my life. I've met a handful of white (either extreme is kinda disturbing to me in uncanny valley way).
On another note, because borderline albinism a few generations back, me and my kids actually to have white spots in our hair with platinum hair color and shows up when we tan.
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Deemar
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 16 Sep 2018
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 63
Location: Calgary, Alberta
I really don't care much these days. I grew up at a time and in an area where the weird was generally just used as a synonym for stupid and was more often than not directed at ideas rather than people.
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Diagnosed ASD 4/22/16
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Kids have a whole dictionary of slurs. When I was in school there was a student with mild downs syndrome who was bullied. The kids all called him "Cindy". I had no idea what it mean't at the time but somebody told me it's slur based of the word syndrome. Oh well, sociopathic bullies can be creative if not intelligent or compassionate.
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