...most of what I ever learned was rooted in fear, anger, hatred, shame..the whole formal labour investment process was certainly no exception..the 'deconstructions' of spirituality, religion and what remaining ~'theories of mind' were left when the dust settled was certainly no exception What is 'left over', is what I truly learned and frankly it is not very much. It is scant.
Hence when for all the praises for my 'smart-ness' I get, I think that I am legitimately a slow learner. Don't tell me otherwise b/c practice is the factor which is almost indomitably the only factor that is needed for existence not verbosity. That's better if you are in say a privileged position of academia where you can make wages from fairly(?) unrestrained pondering and I sure as h---l lost access to that boat for coming into contact w/certain teachers.
Hence I am slow learner b/c I am not as handy as the allistics want me to be. I don't trust myself as much as the allistics want me to and the f---rs are doubtful to listen to my babble about the nature of the self when it comes to why I won't do it and hence stuff like in that book review posting I quoted once is more likely to happen.
The only difference between one emotion and another is timing and dosage.
Repetition is my religion.
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Being able to continue living as I have **shamelessly**.