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MascotGirl
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21 Nov 2016, 2:29 am

I'm only 19 and still have never had a boyfriend or a guy that I'm really close to. I hardly have any friends especially guy friends. I've just started college and I have never felt so alone in my life. So my question is does being a female Aspie doom me to being alone and miserable forever???



Jono
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21 Nov 2016, 2:53 am

MascotGirl wrote:
I'm only 19 and still have never had a boyfriend or a guy that I'm really close to. I hardly have any friends especially guy friends. I've just started college and I have never felt so alone in my life. So my question is does being a female Aspie doom me to being alone and miserable forever???


I doubt it. You'll most probably at least find some friends in college.



cberg
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21 Nov 2016, 4:45 am

Once I spend long enough studying & enjoy the process, being alone seems pretty far from miserable in the grand scheme of things. To me at least this stuff only feels like a problem when there's nothing to do.


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21 Nov 2016, 5:26 am

Not necessarily. It mostly boils down to finding people you click with very well.


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Shahunshah
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21 Nov 2016, 5:57 am

You know, one of my best friend's dad's is autistic. He has said that he didn't have many friends growing up or in High School, but in College he was able to meet his people. In college the thing is you tend to meet people who have similar interests to you and that can be very useful in forming long lasting friendships. And meeting his wife.



Last edited by Shahunshah on 21 Nov 2016, 6:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

whatamievendoing
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21 Nov 2016, 6:17 am

No, you're not doomed to be alone. You just have to go out of your way to find someone you love and who loves you back, as scary as that might sound. I'm 22 myself and I used to (and still occasionally do) think the same way. I know how you feel, trust me - but you'll get over that mentality with time.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Nov 2016, 6:19 am

You still have plenty of time ahead but start doing some effort nevertheless because time passes so fast.



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21 Nov 2016, 9:17 am

You should join some clubs that align with your special interests. Especially when the semester starts--a lot of people join and then drop out to study--if you are there at the beginning you may meet someone special.



Alliekit
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21 Nov 2016, 1:51 pm

MascotGirl wrote:
I'm only 19 and still have never had a boyfriend or a guy that I'm really close to. I hardly have any friends especially guy friends. I've just started college and I have never felt so alone in my life. So my question is does being a female Aspie doom me to being alone and miserable forever???


I never did until I started Uni (college). I would suggest joining a society to meet people. Being a female aspire doesnt doom you i promise! There are quite a few of us on this site who are in relationships. I met my first ever boyfriend when I 19 in my first year of uni and have been with him ever since :). Before then I never had guy friends or guys show interest



SportsGamer35728
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21 Nov 2016, 3:06 pm

Nonsense! Going by your username and my love of sports mascots we'd probably be a good fit for each other :) Too bad you live so far away :P



AspieGuy96
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22 Nov 2016, 2:58 am

The answer to your dilemma is simple:

You're a girl -- If you want attention from guys, then all you have to do is put on lots of makeup, and wear wear tight, revealing clothes, and they'll be all over you like the white on rice. You'll have literally hundreds of potential boyfriends at your disposal. Dead serious.

Hell, you could approach random guys the way we approach girls, and ask for their number, and you'll have far better reception than the other way around 'cause we're not afraid of females and we're less complicated. Are you also aware that this site has a dating thing where other aspies meet?

COME ON, USE YOUR FEMALE PRIVILEGE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Otherwise, don't complain about being lonely. You're not that lonely or else you would've done everything, including the s l u t trick. Stop being a modest hermit.



cberg
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22 Nov 2016, 3:14 am

While I disagree with most of the above post I can corroborate that indeed it's way more fun to be an immodest hermit.


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Alliekit
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22 Nov 2016, 7:53 am

AspieGuy96 wrote:
The answer to your dilemma is simple:

You're a girl -- If you want attention from guys, then all you have to do is put on lots of makeup, and wear wear tight, revealing clothes, and they'll be all over you like the white on rice. You'll have literally hundreds of potential boyfriends at your disposal. Dead serious.

Hell, you could approach random guys the way we approach girls, and ask for their number, and you'll have far better reception than the other way around 'cause we're not afraid of females and we're less complicated. Are you also aware that this site has a dating thing where other aspies meet?

COME ON, USE YOUR FEMALE PRIVILEGE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Otherwise, don't complain about being lonely. You're not that lonely or else you would've done everything, including the s l u t trick. Stop being a modest hermit.


Yea because those techniques don't feel degrading at all :roll: it is my understand that most decent guys are put off by the things you mentioned and they can invite unwanted attention.

Being able to attract doesn't mean you will meet people you like and it certainly doesn't equal to the ability to have a relationship.

If we are going by this idea than technicall all guys have to do is build muscle and be protective. Why aren't you using your male privilige instead of moaning about other privileges



VinoVeritas
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22 Nov 2016, 1:38 pm

The tight, revealing clothes are good for picking up guys who want to have sex and then never call you. For an actual relationship you are looking for someone whose personality is compatible. That can take time, and is hit or miss. The best things you can do are:

1. Meet plenty of people. Even if it's uncomfortable. You need an opportunity to have that first conversation with a man who will be attracted to you as an individual. The suggestions above about clubs and college life are all excellent. Don't feel like you have to work too hard at it - when you're developing a connection with someone, you will know.

2. Be who you are. The men you meet - who want a real relationship - are looking for someone compatible with them. If you are trying to be trendy, or stylish, or to "fit in" in a way that doesn't feel comfortable to you, you make it harder for a "right" person to recognize what you have in common. The tight-fitting clothes work against you here.



Alliekit
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22 Nov 2016, 2:18 pm

VinoVeritas wrote:
The tight, revealing clothes are good for picking up guys who want to have sex and then never call you. For an actual relationship you are looking for someone whose personality is compatible. That can take time, and is hit or miss. The best things you can do are:

1. Meet plenty of people. Even if it's uncomfortable. You need an opportunity to have that first conversation with a man who will be attracted to you as an individual. The suggestions above about clubs and college life are all excellent. Don't feel like you have to work too hard at it - when you're developing a connection with someone, you will know.

2. Be who you are. The men you meet - who want a real relationship - are looking for someone compatible with them. If you are trying to be trendy, or stylish, or to "fit in" in a way that doesn't feel comfortable to you, you make it harder for a "right" person to recognize what you have in common. The tight-fitting clothes work against you here.


This !



wilburforce
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22 Nov 2016, 5:30 pm

AspieGuy96 wrote:
The answer to your dilemma is simple:

You're a girl -- If you want attention from guys, then all you have to do is put on lots of makeup, and wear wear tight, revealing clothes, and they'll be all over you like the white on rice. You'll have literally hundreds of potential boyfriends at your disposal. Dead serious.

Hell, you could approach random guys the way we approach girls, and ask for their number, and you'll have far better reception than the other way around 'cause we're not afraid of females and we're less complicated. Are you also aware that this site has a dating thing where other aspies meet?

COME ON, USE YOUR FEMALE PRIVILEGE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Otherwise, don't complain about being lonely. You're not that lonely or else you would've done everything, including the s l u t trick. Stop being a modest hermit.


This is full of sexist generalisations (insulting to both men and women) and is basically BS.

OP, don't listen to this fool.


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