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AceAndroid
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 28 Dec 2015
Posts: 13

25 Nov 2016, 1:06 am

So my office is having a holiday party at a "fun center " (those places with mini-golf, arcades, laser tag, etc) next week and I do not think I can get out of going.

I am totally comfortable with talking with my co-workers at work about work topics. However, I get really awkward and anxious when put in a social situation with them. I feel I have nothing in common with them and I think they feel awkward around me because I have no social skills and I am the only woman in the entire company.

To make things worse, my coworkers don't like to plan and make decisions, so we have no real plan for once we get to the fun center. I really like having a structured plan for things I participate in and I get really upset when there isn't one. I just know I am going to get overwhelmed at this thing and not be able to function. When I get worked up, I just feel exhausted for the rest of the day and I have to go to another event that evening that I want to be energetic for.

I'm really worried about this party and how to get through it. I generally avoid social things like the plague, so I don't know what to do. How do you guys prepare for and deal with stressful social events?



Nahum
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 25 Nov 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 9
Location: Portland, Oregon

25 Nov 2016, 4:33 am

That's really a tough one, especially if you have no choice on whether to attend or not. I'd simply say though to plan an exit and leave early. Act as if you have a lot of other preoccupations that this party is getting in the way of(which you do), and they'll understand, and let them know that you'll stay as long as you can. That'll give you a customizable window of time, to stay as long as you want to, and not a second more.

They'll have more fun without you because you(with your absence) will allow them to just be themselves without having to accommodate you, you'll have more fun leaving them to reserve your energy for your next event, and everyone will be happy. But if you force yourself to stay through this, then they might be annoyed, and you'll be miserable.

It might help to run this by them with confidence and resolve about your decision.