Why Aspergers is different to classic Autism

Post Reply New Topic

This site and the people I have had the pleasure to talk with has been one of the high points of the last four years of my life.

I have been in a couple of depressed and distressed states here with self doubt and racist parnoia as a way to vent the anger I felt for all the bullying I endured as a child.

However 80% of my time here I have been upbeat and positive.

I have tried my best to help others here not to be so hard on themselves young Ezra for example he has a lot to contend with but I know a lot of the time he doubts how intellegent and mature he comes across.

In my early life I was fired again and again from jobs until I held one down one job for 14 years and walked away with a nice pay off after the place closed however I was bullied very badly in that job.

After that job I discovered my Aspergers ASD whatever we call it these days.
I got a new job where I put the lessons of what I learned here into pratice and got on really well with the poeple however I was open about my ASD.
One year ago that job closed also and I got another pay off.
I got another job not a great one but I got on with the people and I had the confidence to quit and get another job in which I have the confidence to challenge them to fire me as I am unhappy with the pay rate.

Bare in mind I joined this site in 2012 and I started the learning to drive process I failed the test twice and just about gave up but took it again and aced it last month.
Since then I have been driving everywhere and enjoying the freedom.

Here is my problem all of us on the Autism Spectrum are different and I have come to accpet I do not form relationships so I am still living with the parents which is fine I have gradully taken over many tasks.

The two of them are at the age and their health is starting to fail I know I do not want to carry on without them.
I am not depressed my confidence and self awareness are at an all time high I am thinking totally clearly but my parents being disabled or dying is a pill I can not swallow.

Seeing them start to suffer rips me apart.

I have no children but I am also a chicken the only way I could end my life is in a painless way.

Thanks to me and those that have helped me I have become as hard as nails and I can see so called neurotypicals have a hard time in middle age also but that is mostly down to relationship breakup having the children seems to keep them going however.

I have just typed out what goes on in my mind and I know most people keep it to themselves even those on the spectrum.
Life is hard for all of us those of us however who are on the Aspergers part of the spectrum get depressed more then neurotypicals or those with classic autism I believe my post gives and insight into why.

I am not depressed but I am scared of being alone.

Aspergers is a curse.

Aspergers people like me can understand people with classic autism and NTs as we get older but we can get so far but we are still disabled.

Life scares the hell out of me.

I don't know about "more", but people with classic autism can get depressed too. Just because you have classic autism doesn't mean you're unaware of everything around you.

I'm glad you've been able to cope and help others.

I think the whole Aspergers vs Classic thing is confusing as crap. You'll have someone who didn't talk until they were 4 to 8 years old, so technically they have classic autism. But they operate at a very high functioning level. A lot higher than many early talker Aspies.

Autism should be defined as how it's effecting you right now. How big of an impact it is having. That's what matters. What age you started talking at, what your IQ is, whether or not you stim or whether or not you have fixed interest is all circumstantial stuff. Effect and impact are what matters.

Personally I can tell from what people say about their experience with autism, how seriously it effects their life. The circumstantial stuff doesn't mean much compared to how hard it makes it to deal with simple routine daily living.

First, I want to say your life mirrors mine in many ways. I had a job for a little over 16 years but the bullying got so bad I walked away from it. I also got tired of hearing "you are too old to be still living with your mother; why don't you get a place of your own".
An advantage of having this type of Aspergers is that I don't mind spending time alone. I view it as a gift actually.
I still have to be on guard against feeling sorry for myself
I don't want "pity" friendships; I just want people to accept me for what I am. Someone would not apoligize for their race, sex, eye color, hair color etc. In the same vein I feel I should not have to apoligize for having Aspergers.
I now live by myself and people refer to me as a hermit, homebody; so what. Because I do spend so much time by myself, I don't use drugs or alcohol because I felt it could become a crutch too easily. I enjoy my animals and I like to read and exercise. That is my lifestyle and I feel fortunate to be able to indulge in it. Don't be scared of life; believe in yourself.

BTW I also see where you are saying how difficult it is being caught in the middle, like not autistic enough and not NT enough. I think that's the hardest spot to be in. Yeah my autism is on the more severe side, but that also affords me a lot of special care and attention. Downright pampering in some ways.

Aspergers is percieved as different then autism because Lorna Wing popularized the term and successfully lobbied the DSM to put it in thier manual for the purpose of diagnosing Autisics who were not bieng picked up. This happened to occur at the same time the world wide web was coming into popularity. This allowed a lot more people to know about it and define it as they wished.

Watching your parents age is very hard for most, and more difficult if you are dependent on them. Spoken from experience.

I lived with my parents for all but 4 years of my life, in their final decade I was their caretaker. I got grief from coworkers over this but AFAIC they [coworkers] were just furless upright-walking dogs. there was nothing wrong with how I lived for those nearly 5 decades of life, it was a lifestyle choice, just like living alone as I do now. when my parents passed away, I just took it as another phase in my life that I am supposed to learn something from. I dearly hope the OP learns that he too can move onto another phase in his life. I hope that he even can joint a local aspie group and break bread together. I know he can do it.

There is a great difficulty with being autistic, but 'not autistic enough' as I am learning. Even the Pros at the VA don't know what to make of me and haven't even bothered to check with the specialists I am seeing even though there has been a signed waiver in place since early July.

Trying to get people to understand that when I did not get the help I requested it caused me further difficulties and caused a much deeper burnout. I hear things like 'but you were getting out and doing things' even though I had been telling them I wasn't getting out and doing things.

I am extremely gifted in a couple of areas and they see that, but don't see how it's the opposite in almost all other areas. Basically, as gifted as I am in those few areas, I am even more deficient in almost all other areas. And, I also did the same things to myself over my life. If I am so gifted in these few things, I must be damned good in the other areas too. So, I had the same blindness they do now.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I agree with how the OP feels, but, in my own, silly, eternally optimistic way is this: It's f*****g scary out there. Older people are not even considered in this day and age and we are forgotten as part of this situation.

I read an article as they literally said that there are 'millions of autistic adult about to hit the workforce.' It was an article about all these autistic children aging, and all I could think of was about the millions ALREADY in the workforce that are just ignored.

And, we will continue to be ignored because we are the passing problem. We are aging and will not be here long enough to worry about. All efforts and focus are going towards the aging population of diagnosed children becoming adults.

And, if you're normal enough, they will beat you to death because you STILL can't do the simple things they expect until they find a way to marginalize you.

Sorry it took so long to get back to you all thanks for the replies especially the last one and the one before it.