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What do you think I should do?
Stay 100%  100%  [ 3 ]
Leave 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 3

W91T
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 10 Dec 2015
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30 Nov 2016, 11:17 am

Hi. About a year ago, there were someone who introduced themselves to me, since that day we have been greeting each other and walking together to school. But I began to notice that they were only friends with me because they felt sorry for me being alone. I also noticed how they weren't really interested in what I was saying. We are also struggling with misunderstandings.

They always think I'm ignoring them on purpose because I tend to look away when someone gets eye-contact with me, they begin to avoid me but they always come back for some reason and pretend like nothing happened the next day. I know this is exhausting or both me and them. I know that I sound kinda ungrateful, but I get kinda hurt when they avoid me to prove me a point when I don't do it on purpose. I also notice how they are tired of trying to cope with me.



underwater
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30 Nov 2016, 12:23 pm

#3 Talk to them and then decide.

Why don't you just tell that person "You don't have to hang out with me because you feel sorry for me". It may start a conversation. You can check whether your assumptions are correct.

Ditching said person without talking to them seems rather pointless, though.


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I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.


banana247
Sea Gull
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01 Dec 2016, 2:27 pm

If you are discouraged and willing to give up the relationship, then I say it can't hurt to bring it up, bluntly but kindly, and see if you can't work through it. In my experience, bringing up these weird social things with even close friends causes a lot of tension and awkwardness and it's better to avoid the confrontation and work it out with a third party to decide how you can alter your behavior to help the situation. However, sometimes a confrontation is necessary to get on the same page, especially if you haven't spoken to this person about your struggles and unique issues. It could scare them off and must be handled carefully, but since you are kind of willing to abandon the relationship anyway, it seems like just bringing it up is a good last resort. It seems like the person does want to be your friend, so they may respond more positively than you are expecting. Just be sure not to approach it with anger or spite, stay humble but don't throw a pity party.



W91T
Toucan
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Joined: 10 Dec 2015
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01 Dec 2016, 2:47 pm

Thank you both for your answers. I'm still a little afraid of how they will react though. I'm sure that they do it because they only feel sorry for me because while they are trying to keep me in company, they don't talk to me that much, and when they do it seems forced. I feel like they enjoy talking to their other friends but not me. I appreciate what they have done, but at the same time I feel more like a burden, but I don't want to leave them in bad terms either. I'm a little afraid of confrontations because they never have went any well in my case. Talking to a third party sounds like something I should do though.