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tomatoeverything
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13 May 2007, 8:34 am

Hi, I'm a 23 year old male.

I'm hoping to find some connection to people or something that makes some sense to me at wrongplanet. I'm generally an outcast eccentric but I do have friends and don't live on the street drinking cask wine. I've learned to deal with social situations but I don't feel like I get anything out of them like average people seem to do. I just try to act the part and hope it ends soon. Not that I dislike the person or want them to go away, it's just scary talking and I just get all anxious and nothing makes sense and I try to make the right facial expressions and sound normal, so I feel bad like I'm only thinking about me so I feel like I should just live on a hill and grow my own vegetables and catch fish now and then. .I talk to people and I feel like I'm being normal but they look weird and walk off and I don't get why. mlah

mmm
Anyway, I'm pretty scared about joining up because I'm pretty scared of interaction in general. I think I'll end up getting drunk and posting strange things and just feeling more weird than I do normally.

hello to everyone in the forums. power on into the future

sorry if this makes no sense. (! !!)



cosmiccat
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13 May 2007, 9:25 am

tomatoeverything wrote:
Hi, I'm a 23 year old male.

Quote:
I'm hoping to find some connection to people or something that makes some sense to me at wrongplanet. I'm generally an outcast eccentric but I do have friends and don't live on the street drinking cask wine. I've learned to deal with social situations but I don't feel like I get anything out of them like average people seem to do.


Hello tomatoeverything, and welcome to wrongplanet. You sound like most of us here and should be able to connect just fine. We've all felt, still feel like outcasts and what's wrong with being eccentric? What intelligent being would want to be stamped out by a "cookie-cutter" anyway?

Quote:
I just try to act the part and hope it ends soon. Not that I dislike the person or want them to go away, it's just scary talking and I just get all anxious and nothing makes sense and I try to make the right facial expressions and sound normal, so I feel bad like I'm only thinking about me so I feel like I should just live on a hill and grow my own vegetables and catch fish now and then. .I talk to people and I feel like I'm being normal but they look weird and walk off and I don't get why. mlah


I and most of the people I've met here have also felt that we needed to act the part in order to fit in and it does seem to wear a body down by feeling the need to act all of the time in order to be considered "normal". Just realize that you are normal for someone with Asperger's and that Aspies are not crazy or mentally ill, they are simply wired differently and have different needs and ways of responding.

Quote:
mmm
Anyway, I'm pretty scared about joining up because I'm pretty scared of interaction in general. I think I'll end up getting drunk and posting strange things and just feeling more weird than I do normally.


There's nothing to fear. There is acceptance here. You can say a lot or you can say a little or you can just read what other's have to say until you feel like saying something yourself. I have a grandson your age who I believe has AS. I would tell him not to get drunk but that doesn't mean he would listen. When I was your age I got drunk a lot just to fit in. And I hate alcohol. Unless it's a few beers when I'm eating crabs. A lot of strange things get said here, so don't worry about that or about being judged.

Quote:
hello to everyone in the forums. power on into the future


I guess you weren't expecting to be greeted by an old Dino-Aspie, but hell, it's all good, as your generation says. You'll find a special place here where you can fit it with people your own age or with whomever or wherever you feel most comfortable. Power on into the future with my blessings.......Oh, and 1 more thing before I shuffle off to take my arthritis medicine....I'm not really a post whore as my signature suggests. I was called that by someone who misunderstood me and decided to use it as my signature as a way of turning the other cheek.



Bluegrass
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13 May 2007, 9:43 am

We should live on neighboring hills!
I feel pretty much the same way. I'm a normal looking person with fairly normal interests (although I do tend to drone on about them and bore people without always being aware of it). It's not so much fear of interaction, but more like we know what the end result of our interactions will be. I'll think I've been successful, made the correct expressions and responses, only to discover that my friends and family think I'm strange.

If I have to go to a bridal shower or some other event where I don't know most of the people, I try to carefully monitor everything I say. When I do say something, people will look at me like I have 2 heads then completely ignore me. If I sit quietly then they demand to know why I'm so quiet. I can't win!

Sad to say it, but I'd rather be outside somewhere by myself or watching TV.

If someone in the forums says something mean to you, just tell them you have enough problems and don't need to hear their garbage. I've been working on trying to convey that to people who give me a hard time in the real world. Maybe as you get older you don't care if people think you're mean (which I'm not). If they're not going to be nice to me then I don't want them around. I wish I had that attitude when I was younger. Anyway...seems to me the NTs are the ones with the problem, not us!



greensocks
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13 May 2007, 9:44 am

Hi, I'm a 23 year old female. Ha ha ha.

The age thing was an odd coincidence, so I had to point it out.

I just joined a few days ago. :D I was a bit nervous. I'm still nervous. I'm also very scared of interaction in general. I can do social situations, but I do find it to be draining and unsatisfying. I get anxious, and I put so much effort into thinking about the right things to say, the right ways to say them, the proper ways to react that I end up exhausting myself and I still miss what's going on.

I've more than once thought about heading off to a hill, (or to a shack in the woods) and living out my days as a professional hermit. My mom keeps telling me that "hermit," isn't a viable career option. :lol: I question the validity of her opinion . . .

By no means do I dislike many people, but I still get nervous.

I've found so far, though, that people here seem really friendly.



alexbeetle
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13 May 2007, 11:05 am

welcome to WP tomatoeverything!


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giaam
Deinonychus
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13 May 2007, 11:16 am

greensocks wrote:
I've more than once thought about heading off to a hill, (or to a shack in the woods) and living out my days as a professional hermit. My mom keeps telling me that "hermit," isn't a viable career option.

Ever thought abouht joining a 'Hermits Association' / union? Why not try living/working in a hermits community? :wink:


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nutbag
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13 May 2007, 1:31 pm

The only reason I am not a hermit is that more conventional NTs around me have convinced me not to do it! Hermit's community - how oxymoronic, and wonderful!


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giaam
Deinonychus
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13 May 2007, 2:10 pm

Ever considered that WP is just that, a community of on-line Hermits? :nerdy:


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Douglas_MacNeill
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13 May 2007, 4:21 pm

Welcome aboard, tomatoeverything:

I'm the first to admit that I can be a scary customer when someone
meets me for the first time; being scared in your own right does that.
Any hooooo...I'm glad to welcome you aboard WP. Take your time,
pay attention to what other people post, and start posting yourself
when and as you feel more at ease.




tomatoeverything wrote:
Hi, I'm a 23 year old male.

I'm hoping to find some connection to people or something that makes some sense to me at wrongplanet. I'm generally an outcast eccentric but I do have friends and don't live on the street drinking cask wine. I've learned to deal with social situations but I don't feel like I get anything out of them like average people seem to do. I just try to act the part and hope it ends soon. Not that I dislike the person or want them to go away, it's just scary talking and I just get all anxious and nothing makes sense and I try to make the right facial expressions and sound normal, so I feel bad like I'm only thinking about me so I feel like I should just live on a hill and grow my own vegetables and catch fish now and then. .I talk to people and I feel like I'm being normal but they look weird and walk off and I don't get why. mlah

mmm
Anyway, I'm pretty scared about joining up because I'm pretty scared of interaction in general. I think I'll end up getting drunk and posting strange things and just feeling more weird than I do normally.

hello to everyone in the forums. power on into the future

sorry if this makes no sense. (! !!)



madscientist
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13 May 2007, 5:52 pm

Heh, sounds like you'll fit in just fine here. A gathering of porcupines, in a way. Welcome!


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DeaconBlues
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13 May 2007, 11:05 pm

There's a solution - we can all live on hilltops, and communicate by heliograph... :)


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Douglas_MacNeill
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14 May 2007, 11:05 am

Welcome, Bluegrass (and tomatoeverything. if I haven't greeted you before):

Ahhh...it's always good to find new people to chat with.





Bluegrass wrote:
We should live on neighboring hills!
I feel pretty much the same way. I'm a normal looking person with fairly normal interests (although I do tend to drone on about them and bore people without always being aware of it). It's not so much fear of interaction, but more like we know what the end result of our interactions will be. I'll think I've been successful, made the correct expressions and responses, only to discover that my friends and family think I'm strange.

If I have to go to a bridal shower or some other event where I don't know most of the people, I try to carefully monitor everything I say. When I do say something, people will look at me like I have 2 heads then completely ignore me. If I sit quietly then they demand to know why I'm so quiet. I can't win!

Sad to say it, but I'd rather be outside somewhere by myself or watching TV.

If someone in the forums says something mean to you, just tell them you have enough problems and don't need to hear their garbage. I've been working on trying to convey that to people who give me a hard time in the real world. Maybe as you get older you don't care if people think you're mean (which I'm not). If they're not going to be nice to me then I don't want them around. I wish I had that attitude when I was younger. Anyway...seems to me the NTs are the ones with the problem, not us!



Raylynn
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14 May 2007, 11:08 am

Hi welcome to WP!



tomatoeverything
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15 May 2007, 6:21 am

hey hey, thanks for the huge welcome.
I didn't expect so much jovial welcomeness.

I thought about this website at work today and other aspie people.
It had me much more confident to be who I am even though it freaks other people out and they walk off confused not wanting to talk to me again. (not always - probably just me freaking out too... anyway...)

hi to everyone, I hope I can talk to you all more over timey time.
Today is all aglow.



Tim_Tex
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15 May 2007, 8:54 am

Welcome to WP!

Tim


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nannarob
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15 May 2007, 5:15 pm

Two more WP addicts in the making! Welcome! Welcome!


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