nobody cares about us
15 Dec 2016, 3:23 am
pensieve wrote:
We can't always blame people for our problems. Not saying you are as I don't really know your story but there is a way out of your funk.
i have a bad habit of that tbh. while i'm right sometimes, it's mostly biology's fault (since i don't see the point in blaming myself either, i can't control inherently who i am - then again 'i' am my biology when you think about it).
i can't expect everyone in society to coddle me and go out of their way to fix my life or make me feel accepted.
15 Dec 2016, 9:04 am
schopenhauer with a keyboard wrote:
.......
the thing about being an outcast isn't really about the emotional pain of being different or even lonely, but rather the fact that it just irks me that i'm disabled in this respect and don't even have an option, that they think i'm less than them.
i have been isolated for a very long time so at least now a lot of it could be considered 'self-imposed', but i was picked on a lot in school and never really had more than 1 friend (not that i felt much of a desire to have friends anyway).
another thing is the lack of opportunities that comes with being a loner.. that's gotta be the worst aspect i think.
anyways thanks a lot for the great post, and i hope you find some success in your life too. it sounds like you definitely deserve it.
the thing about being an outcast isn't really about the emotional pain of being different or even lonely, but rather the fact that it just irks me that i'm disabled in this respect and don't even have an option, that they think i'm less than them.
i have been isolated for a very long time so at least now a lot of it could be considered 'self-imposed', but i was picked on a lot in school and never really had more than 1 friend (not that i felt much of a desire to have friends anyway).
another thing is the lack of opportunities that comes with being a loner.. that's gotta be the worst aspect i think.
anyways thanks a lot for the great post, and i hope you find some success in your life too. it sounds like you definitely deserve it.
Are you familiar with the concept of Dunbar's Number?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
In short, the number of inter-human relationships the human mind can process is limited, probably to around 120-150, it differs on the person and probably some other factors. Some extrapolate the concept to how many people can be in a single individual's social network.
Realistically, if Neurodiverse individuals are seen as having low social status, there really isn't a compelling reason for people to add us inside "their 150". In fact, if we're of low enough social status, they'd run the risk, in their own heads or in reality, it makes no difference, of lowing their own social status by including us in their social network.
It's a harsh conclusion, but the most likely people to care about us, outside our own immediate relatives, is those of our own Neurological processing style. If we want people to care about us, either we only care about each other, which means we've created our own Neurodiverse in-group transitioning to a tribe, or we build our own social status to where other people come to us.
_________________
Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
16 Dec 2016, 3:54 am
AgentPalpatine wrote:
schopenhauer with a keyboard wrote:
.......
the thing about being an outcast isn't really about the emotional pain of being different or even lonely, but rather the fact that it just irks me that i'm disabled in this respect and don't even have an option, that they think i'm less than them.
i have been isolated for a very long time so at least now a lot of it could be considered 'self-imposed', but i was picked on a lot in school and never really had more than 1 friend (not that i felt much of a desire to have friends anyway).
another thing is the lack of opportunities that comes with being a loner.. that's gotta be the worst aspect i think.
anyways thanks a lot for the great post, and i hope you find some success in your life too. it sounds like you definitely deserve it.
the thing about being an outcast isn't really about the emotional pain of being different or even lonely, but rather the fact that it just irks me that i'm disabled in this respect and don't even have an option, that they think i'm less than them.
i have been isolated for a very long time so at least now a lot of it could be considered 'self-imposed', but i was picked on a lot in school and never really had more than 1 friend (not that i felt much of a desire to have friends anyway).
another thing is the lack of opportunities that comes with being a loner.. that's gotta be the worst aspect i think.
anyways thanks a lot for the great post, and i hope you find some success in your life too. it sounds like you definitely deserve it.
Are you familiar with the concept of Dunbar's Number?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
In short, the number of inter-human relationships the human mind can process is limited, probably to around 120-150, it differs on the person and probably some other factors. Some extrapolate the concept to how many people can be in a single individual's social network.
Realistically, if Neurodiverse individuals are seen as having low social status, there really isn't a compelling reason for people to add us inside "their 150". In fact, if we're of low enough social status, they'd run the risk, in their own heads or in reality, it makes no difference, of lowing their own social status by including us in their social network.
It's a harsh conclusion, but the most likely people to care about us, outside our own immediate relatives, is those of our own Neurological processing style. If we want people to care about us, either we only care about each other, which means we've created our own Neurodiverse in-group transitioning to a tribe, or we build our own social status to where other people come to us.
yeah i did hear about that.
it's not like they need to be full-blown best buddies or anything though, just show some consideration at least, idk.
regardless, i don't even know how to meet people or have friendly chats, and i'd have nothing to talk about anyway.
i'm probably best to stick to talking to other losers on the internet, it's better anyway in that it's much easier to find people who have similar interests by going to particular forums and stuff like that, and there's a lot more interesting people outside of your local community that you otherwise wouldn't have ever met.
of course the problem of having less options irl persists, but for the social aspect it works out for the better i'd think.
19 Dec 2016, 9:39 am
schopenhauer with a keyboard wrote:
AgentPalpatine wrote:
........
Are you familiar with the concept of Dunbar's Number?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar's_number
In short, the number of inter-human relationships the human mind can process is limited, probably to around 120-150, it differs on the person and probably some other factors. Some extrapolate the concept to how many people can be in a single individual's social network.
Realistically, if Neurodiverse individuals are seen as having low social status, there really isn't a compelling reason for people to add us inside "their 150". In fact, if we're of low enough social status, they'd run the risk, in their own heads or in reality, it makes no difference, of lowing their own social status by including us in their social network.
It's a harsh conclusion, but the most likely people to care about us, outside our own immediate relatives, is those of our own Neurological processing style. If we want people to care about us, either we only care about each other, which means we've created our own Neurodiverse in-group transitioning to a tribe, or we build our own social status to where other people come to us.
yeah i did hear about that.
it's not like they need to be full-blown best buddies or anything though, just show some consideration at least, idk.
regardless, i don't even know how to meet people or have friendly chats, and i'd have nothing to talk about anyway.
i'm probably best to stick to talking to other losers on the internet, it's better anyway in that it's much easier to find people who have similar interests by going to particular forums and stuff like that, and there's a lot more interesting people outside of your local community that you otherwise wouldn't have ever met.
of course the problem of having less options irl persists, but for the social aspect it works out for the better i'd think.
We're having a friendly chat here, and we already have a topic to talk about. I'm not sure it would be helpful to refer to others as "other losers on the internet" in general. Showing consideration is generally reserved for those who society requires us to show consideration for, or members of our own circle, or tribe if one is so inclined.
What solution would you propose to the issue of "less options (In real life)"?
_________________
Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
ASPartOfMe
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20 Dec 2016, 12:08 am
Shaina Murry cares
Shaina Murry Facebook page
Quote:
I purposely delayed my flight. And will always fly #americanairlines from now on. Here is why: while on the phone getting ready to go find my gate I noticed a man (his name is Will K.) laying on the floor, not doing well- he was in distress. It was clear something was wrong, I just didn't know what. It seemed best after asking him a few questions to call for medical assistance.
After him telling me several times he was afraid he was going to miss his flight while waiting for the airport medical team to come assist him I realized that he most likely is autistic. That triggered me to switch gears. After giving him assurance about his flight time we called his mom and let her know he wasn't feeling well- and seeing the medical team at Dallas Airport. After much back and forth with the airport medical team, his mom, (who confirmed he was autistic) and American Airlines the medical team said he needed to eat and have something to drink and they were worried he would get sick again and didn't know if he should fly. I worked with American Airlines and the medical team at Dallas and told the medical team I would change my flight, grab some lunch with him and make sure he got on his flight ok---American didn't charge me a dime for the flight change and even called me when he and I were eating lunch together to let me know his gate changed. When I dropped him off at his gate-for his flight the American Airlines team took great care of him, checked on him and made sure he boarded safely to go see his Mom for Christmas. Today was not at all what I pictured it to be. It has turned out so much better. I had an amazing lunch with a wonderful young man from Louisville, Kentucky. While I don't know him well I know he has a heart of gold and a wonderful mother and sister who he loves very much, and after texting with his mom- she loves him just as much.
American Airlines handled the situation with such professionalism and care. The medical team at Dallas as well as police were also just as amazing. Every once and awhile we all need a little help. Regardless of disability, age, or social status. Thanks for making my day Will!]
After him telling me several times he was afraid he was going to miss his flight while waiting for the airport medical team to come assist him I realized that he most likely is autistic. That triggered me to switch gears. After giving him assurance about his flight time we called his mom and let her know he wasn't feeling well- and seeing the medical team at Dallas Airport. After much back and forth with the airport medical team, his mom, (who confirmed he was autistic) and American Airlines the medical team said he needed to eat and have something to drink and they were worried he would get sick again and didn't know if he should fly. I worked with American Airlines and the medical team at Dallas and told the medical team I would change my flight, grab some lunch with him and make sure he got on his flight ok---American didn't charge me a dime for the flight change and even called me when he and I were eating lunch together to let me know his gate changed. When I dropped him off at his gate-for his flight the American Airlines team took great care of him, checked on him and made sure he boarded safely to go see his Mom for Christmas. Today was not at all what I pictured it to be. It has turned out so much better. I had an amazing lunch with a wonderful young man from Louisville, Kentucky. While I don't know him well I know he has a heart of gold and a wonderful mother and sister who he loves very much, and after texting with his mom- she loves him just as much.
American Airlines handled the situation with such professionalism and care. The medical team at Dallas as well as police were also just as amazing. Every once and awhile we all need a little help. Regardless of disability, age, or social status. Thanks for making my day Will!]
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auntblabby
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20 Dec 2016, 1:36 am
Physically disabled people still have the neurotypical social skills. I think these social skills are what makes neurotypicals able to relate to someone. Not saying thats right but its probably a biological thing and cant be counteracted on a global scale without more awareness and some good ole fashion brainstorming.
20 Dec 2016, 9:14 am
Mekichuu wrote:
Physically disabled people still have the neurotypical social skills. I think these social skills are what makes neurotypicals able to relate to someone. Not saying thats right but its probably a biological thing and cant be counteracted on a global scale without more awareness and some good ole fashion brainstorming.
To the "social skills", it's more likely nonverbal communication and neurological processing style that is the divisive factor (probably one of multiple factors).
As far as counteracting it on any scale, local to global, I don't see that happening without a dramatic rise in the Neurodiverse social status, which is unlikely. Building our own "tribes" inclusive of our neurology is far more practical, both in the short and long run.
_________________
Our first challenge is to create an entire economic infrastructure, from top to bottom, out of whole cloth.
-CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly"
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (Firaxis Games)
