Special friend that's also maybe a special interest

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Hi all! Hope everyone reading this is well today.

I'm new to the boards here and I was hoping that maybe some of you fine ladies and gentlemen here might be able to assist me in understanding something about a friend of mine who is autistic. Being that I am neurotypical, I educate myself on autism to the best of my ability for my own knowledge and helping me to communicate and understand my friend better.

My friend, who I'll call Andy, started working with me earlier this year. I'd say roughly, it's been about six months since we started working together. Upon meeting him, I treated him with the same amount of respect and kindness I would have my fellow coworkers. He began to notice that I didn't automatically turn him away, which in turn made him feel comfortable. He would overhear me talking about my different interests and realized that we have some things in common; we both like Star Wars, superheroes, Lord of the Rings, and classic rock. He's nothing but kindness, good intentions, and has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever met. He does his absolute best to make sure he's being the kind of friend you'd hope for; he's fiercely loyal, helpful, sensitive, shows he cares and appreciates you by the smallest of gestures, and will do just about anything to see that you're happy and make you smile.

I know that he doesn't have many friends (much less neurotypical ones), so I took it upon myself to be a friend to Andy. In turn, he grew rather fond of me rather fast. Knowing that he is autistic, this is when I began to take it upon myself to begin to understand autism a bit better. One of the things I knew beforehand that was characteristic of most autistic individuals is that they have limited, yet special interests. What I did not know is that sometimes those special interests can also be other people. It didn't dawn on me until just recently that I just happened to be one of Andy's special interests (along with potentially having a bit of a crush on me too). Looking back it explained things like how quickly attached he became, all of his little jokes and moments of teasing me at work, writing stories where I'm the main character, various drawings he's done both for/of me, taking a picture of me on his phone to have with him, and even telling me that he'll think of me quite often outside of work. From how he describes me, the things he does, and having me as a friend, I mean the absolute world to him.

He also knows that I'm married. He sometimes seems a little scared and worried that I'll speak of him badly to my husband, in which I'll have to reassure him that my husband wouldn't see him as a threat and knows we're just friends. There's his moments of fear and doubt that I just won't be around one day, that I'll quit my job because of him, or that I won't want to be his friend because he's "different" in his words. He also has times that he gets a little jealous and insecure sometimes because he feels that I'm ignoring him when I'll talk to my other coworkers or just be busy when I have to focus on doing my job. Which being that he looks up to me in the regard he does, I do my part in being a good friend in talking it through and reassuring him that everything's okay. I also try and work with Andy on his communication skills. He knows he's not the greatest at it; I think he's a bit frustrated with himself and gets a bit flustered over the fact. It's really helped when he and I will be able to ask one another to clarify and explain what the other means so that we both understand one another better when we're unsure of what it is the other has said.


Now being that Andy is a one of a kind, I've never encountered someone that would take such a strong liking to me in the regard of making me their special interest. Sure, my husband, friends, and family has their own ways of making me feel loved and cared about. Sometimes it's really sweet and endearing when he'll express his pure joy and happiness of being friends with me. And other times, he tends to come on rather strong where his excitement of his "special friend" as he calls me and his best friend just overwhelms him to the point of being a bit clingy. Which please don't misunderstand me, I think Andy is a wonderfully kind and gentle human being. I personally am not used to that feeling of being needed by someone to that degree, let alone being the center of another person's world outside of my husband or parents. So this is quite new to me.

What it is I'm wondering about is how to exactly handle the situation in a way that I can understand what made me such a special interest to him, how to ensure I'm being a good friend, and how to possibly give myself breathing room when he does get to be a little clingy. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!