Do you get mad over pity?

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Does anyone here get mad over pity?I do,but I can't help that.
I've had some people pity me nad treat me like I'm a baby.Well,d*mmit,I'm a friggin human being too!I don't want thier damn pity I want to be treated like a regular person!And if there's anything I hate worse than pity it's fake pity!How do the rest of you feel about getting pity (or fake-pity) from other peeps?

Oh,and sorry if I was yelling too much there.As you can see people giving me the "poor ol' disabled girl' thing makes me MAD.They must think I'm too stupid to do anything!GAH!

Pity is usually annoying, stupid, and pointlesss. Pity in itself only serves to make someone feel worse, unless they have some sort of serious emotional problems. I mean, if they are going to give me that crap, they could at least find something to do that I would find useful. Thogh lately the bigger peoblem for me has been people getting mad at me for not acting and doing things in way they expect so they try to boss me around.

Oh oi!

I'm pretty lucky that I don't get any wierd treatment like that or condescension over disability unless someone knows about my AS out ahead of meeting me. When that does happen it does have me edging into em and giving em odd looks (trying to communicate in NT nonverbal sarcasm "WTF are you doing?! Get it together").

I think when people react to one of us like that, the reason it inherently pisses us off so much is that it shows real clearly how ignorant they are to how AS is or who we are on the inside. Hopefully as time goes on and as this kind of thing has less nonpublic ground for stigmas and ignorance to cover, we'll be getting less and less treatment like we're kids.

Pity is pretty annoying, since most of the time it isn't even sincere. And even if it is, its sort of back-handed, since to have the pity emplies the person giving pity feels superior to the person being pitied.

I almost rather be made fun of, at least then I can make fun back in a joking way. Its hard for me to say, I don't want the pity, when on the outside it looks like someone is being nice, despite what the actual intentions are.

Of course the extreme lazy side of my brain, says just accept the pity, you aren't like others and need as much help as you can get. But I always bounce back, and say "I can make it on my own" ala Lil' Brudder of Homestar Runner fame.

I don't like getting pity, but it annoys me more when other people try and get pity from you. They try and make you feel sorry for them and it's like.. get a damn life. It's like some people can only feel complete if they make everyone feel sorry for them.

I don't really get much pity because I don't act pitiful or try and get pity from others. I would like people to understand how I feel.. rather than just fell sorry for me when they don't know what for.

It's alot to ask though.

My dad always said "never get around with people you feel sorry for", and is right.

I don't get mad over pity. It is just part of life.

I get mad at pity... From my perspective, it's been the NT touchy-feely method of making fun of me.

i agree with hale bopp - people who are victims and won't take responsibilities for themselves, their thoughts, actions and life in general, make me incredibly angry. and that's personal AND collective responsibility.

Pity... haven't had it in a while, people tend to just think I'm weird. My friends are slowly learning about my Autism, but don't really feel sorry for me. Eh, I really don't care. Pity is usually annoying to me, it feels condescending.

I also agree with hale_bopp, people looking for pity are pathetic and wasting peoples time looking for it.

I get a fair amount of pity for being deaf.

I have to restrain my overpowering urge to beat them into bloody plups and just manage a good scowl at them to get them off my case.

Pity is so stupid!

I cannot stand Sympathy or pity or bieng patronized. When I tell someone something personal, it is because I am need clarification or a slotution to a problem. I hate the touchy feelly oh how are you today are you ok crap!

I kicked the police out of my house when they began to patronise me and I told them that they were to send someone else next time!

I HATE it!!

Sometimes mad, sometimes more like "Oh good grief, not this again " or even surprised.

I don't know why surprised, because it happens a lot. But it seems nonsensical to me to be pitied for various things about my life that to me are just facts of life. Other people seem to view them as utter catastrophes and wonder "how I manage" and stuff, and people who think like that rarely even seem to believe that I view these things as part of normal life. (They can even find it offensive that I am not running around feeling sorry for myself, or else decide that I'm unusually strong because of it. No. It really is just ordinary to me. If it's not ordinary to them, it would nearly always become ordinary if they lived this way for any appreciable length of time.)

I get it about the wheelchair a lot. The "I'm so sorry you're in a wheelchair" reaction. I had a conversation with a friend who also uses a chair the other night, about that. Her reaction was basically the same as mine. She wonders why people feel sorry for her for being able to get around, she thinks her life would be much more restricted without one.

But even when I am genuinely in a situation I find highly unpleasant, pity isn't generally a useful reaction. In fact that may be the point at which it's more anger than surprise for me. Because I'll be looking around for solutions, and instead get people pouring useless pity all over me. If they're very dedicated, they'll follow me around doing an "Oh you poor thing" routine. If they knew that it was only self-restraint on my part keeping me from smacking them, they probably wouldn't.

I was also angry the time I realized the only reason someone had pretended to be interested in me, was because she saw me as in need of rescuing. When I did not act like someone who wanted to be rescued, she had turned on me and told me that she'd planned on rescuing me but now wasn't going to do it because I was just an awful person and so forth and that people had warned me I would be like this. Well... I don't want to be rescued, but if you're going to try, at least be honest about it, don't pretend to be educating yourself on a topic you find interesting, or to be trying to get to know me, and then turn around and act like I was looking for sympathy when I answered your direct questions. And if you do, don't get mad if I'm not grateful for your attempts to rescue me from something I don't need to be rescued from.

But... when people pity me instead of doing something useful about truly unpleasant situations, I get mad. When they pity me for things I see as everyday, I just get surprised. It's like being pitied for having a kitchen. But somehow they rarely believe me when I say that.

I had a situation a few months ago where some people felt sorry for me and tried to help but failed to understand about the verbal communication difficulties I have at times. They also threw away/broke stuff of mine while tidying up my house and this made me cry and stress out which then led to their thinking I was ungrateful for their help.

They now say if I want any more work done, I have to pay for it which I said was fine but it will have to wait till I save up. Some people also spread lies about me that I was faking having Aspergers and wasn't disabled at all and that didn't help.

Like Sean, I also often get people trying to run my life for me by giving advice that I can't/don't want to follow and then getting poopy with me. Once they do that, I keep my distance from them and don't trust. That is why counselling over the years has not worked too well for me. I'm looking for practical assistance and/or listening rather than advice.

Anybody can give advice. Even I can but I am reluctant to do so in most cases as if the person followed it and then things went wrong, guess who they would blame?

I get pity over madness.