Target of Manipulative People

Post Reply New Topic

TL;DR IN BOLD
So hello everyone, I've posted something before which brought up the question that people with Aspergers or other similar ASDs are commonly targets of abusive or manipulative people. However this is more of a personal thing, because I am consistently finding myself at the mercy of some abusive person. Let me start with my relationship with these people, then I'll talk about what they do, and I'll also put a checklist of Sociopathic traits check off the ones that these people have to give a better understanding for you. My hopes with this post is to help others become more aware of the traits of these people and I would also like any advice for myself, not to come across as selfish but I'm rather fed up with this occurrence.

Ok so first off, I would say I've known person A for quite a long time, but they've always been off background, never in any sort of friendship or anything, but they've definitely talked a lot with me. It is in several classes I have with them. They are very cold, a fast talker like many emotionless people (that is an assumption, not a fact), they are very aggressive towards people around them, and they make it out as a joke but I'm not sure if they're joking or actually being aggressive. They commonly tell me that my "obsession" is unnatural and stupid, and that I am attacking them by having it. (I like to study anthropology, and they tell me I'm racist).They come up with arguments and ways to push me around, which they usually just go ahead and do, despite any sort of insult I throw at them, they seem unphased. They also, like all the people like this that I've met, exclusively target me, attacking things and people that are important to me and even going as far as doing this when I'm not bothering with them at all.

Person B is a bit more aggressive than person A. Person B, when I first met them, began to befriend me immediately. They picked me out wherever we went (as a class) whatever we did. At lunchtimes, anywhere. I was always that person they said hello to. They would often poke fun at my "oblivious" behavior, and would go from a calm and callous state to a more aggressive pissed off one in seconds. I would take all of it until one day I exploded and that resulted in silent treatment from them for months, before they resumed only worse. They would make huge insults, and they had an extremely bloated ego, to the point of making themselves look like an idiot. They would get into fights with 5-6 people at a time and again, I was OFTEN (not always) their exclusive target. When I became irritated at the constant insults and I politely told them to stop, they told me they wouldn't because I was pathetic, so when I began to fight back, they told me I was a cold nasty person (basically they would change roles faster than I could comprehend what they were doing so I could never catch them). It was always a loosing fight the whole time, and in the end they disappeared and never show up unless they absolutely need someone to push around.

So here is The Hare Psychopathy Checklist – Revised, from sociopathicstyle.com:
☑GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything.  A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
☑GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
☑NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
☑PATHOLOGICAL LYING — Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
☑CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
☑LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
☑SHALLOW AFFECT — Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
☑CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
☑PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
☑POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
IMPULSIVITY — The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
IRRESPONSIBILITY — Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — A revocation of probation or other conditional releases due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes. The word psychopath can be replaced with the word sociopath throughout this page. The meaning is very similar, if not the same.