Going back to college....

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Well, today I was really proud of myself-when I first left the house, lol. I've become a major homebody lately, never leaving except to go to the store really. I've been out of college for 7 years now, and have been completely avoiding registration due to knowing how overwhelmed I get so easily. Today I went to the college, and started off alright. But by the time I got in to take the placement test, I was starting to unravel.

I didn't get the math section at all-I just could not make the connection in my head to what exactly they were wanting me to do. Random people kept coming and sitting next to me, people kept coming in and out of the room, I kept hearing them talking when the door opened. One guy had his cell phone with him, another was smacking a pencil repeatedly on his desk. I couldn't handle it, and wound up bombing the placement tests (except in reading) all over the place just because I wanted to rush and get out of the room.

By the time I got to my car, my eyes were tearing up-I was just too overwhelmed with too much going on around me while trying to take the test. I was going to stay to register, but when I sat down, I realized I was in line behind 5 people to talk to the counsellor and was already at my wits end.

I know I need to go to college, and I think it will help to be around that many people all the time-especially once I get used to who is in my class with me and all, it will be less chaotic. But what do I do until then? I have to go back Wednesday to register officially, but am extremely nervous about how I will do once I actually start class. I'm also nervous about having that many random people plopping next to me while waiting to see the counsellor, then having to go talk to this random counsellor I've never met before and still hold my composure. If I came that close to just crying today, I don't wanna go in and make a complete fool of myself on my first few days of classes once they start...

Anyone have any suggestions on easing back in just until I get used to it again? How did you guys do it (if any of you have had this hard of a time with it )

congratulations, and goodluck dude.

lol, thanks I'm really looking forward to it, I just need to figure out how to get past this hurdle. Actually, I'll deal with it either way because I know I need to do it-I just wonder if there is a way to make it a little bit smoother

what makes you relax? for me its blackmetal. id do whatever it is you do to relax. you'll be fine, im in your corner&your friend

Can you take online courses?Whatever you do next,at least you made a strong effort today.Some days that's all you can ask for.

aww tyvm. lol, my bf told me to remind him when I get home from registration not to ask how it went, ROFL!! ! I can't think of a ton of things that calm me down atm, unfortunately-not much I can bring in with me. I'm pretty much ALWAYS stressed out, lol. It's not too bad until the strangers start swarming around... it's almost instant, lol. Heaven forbid anyone brush against me-I start rocking, my legs bounce, I hand flap sometimes, lol.

I wish I hadn't allowed myself to become such a homebody-I think I just turned this little leap across a puddle into a leap across a canyon by doing it. It's not impossible, but is so very hard.

Yeah.... Definitely get a diagnosis so you can get accomodations through the disability resource center. Even if they won't diagnose you with AS, if you've got comorbid stuff going on like depression or anxiety, those will get you accomodations as well. With accomodations, you can generally get a distraction-free environment for testing (and can probably take those placement tests over). But if you get in with the disability resource center, they can help you a lot. You do need a diagnosis in order to receive services, though.

For registration, is there any way that you can take somebody with you to wait with you and help you deal with the counselor?

bf watches the kiddo when I go, but I don't have anyone else to go, and it's not exactly a setting for a 2 year old to throw a fit in, lol. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression-not sure if he's "officially" written it down or not. I'm hoping to do the assessment soon so I know for sure what to even tell the counsellor at school, but until then, that works.

Thanks guys, 'tis much appreciated ^^

Going back in today-feeling a bit more relaxed. I just realized this morning-the wait for the regular counsellor and the one for the learning disabilities counsellor is going to be very different most likely, lol. DUH!! ! I should have realized this the other day, but for some reason it just didn't register-I guess because I was overthinking.

LOL!! ! Okay, so I am actually registered. I called the learning disabilities counsellor and she told me there was nothing she can do to help. What she said:

"We have many students that have difficulties with different things here, and even if you have a diagnosis there is no guarantee I can do anything to help. I can't do anything except for possibly book accomodations (spelling?), etc., and you have to have a list of things you need from your therapist along with a diagnosis before I can help anyway... IF I can help..."

Furthermore, I explained my difficulties with math and asked if they could help with anything like that once I do have the list and a diagnosis of some sort even if that takes a few years for my therapist to be able to sort out exactly what I need (as I apparantly can't tell the counsellor what I need from personal experience for some reason). I also told her that it has to do with my thought process-I have trouble understanding what to do to begin with. Once I get it after a little bit of repetition, I have it, and I'm fine, but getting to that point is often where I fail at, and by the time I get it, they are moving onto the next lesson. I also told her I'm a very hands on person and cannot multi-task (i.e. take notes, listen to what the teacher is saying; look at my notes or listen to the lecture on a recorder and actually apply it to what I'm trying to do with homework) She responded:

"Well, it sounds like you have just a learning disability in math. Asperger's has nothing to do with your thought process, and there are plenty of students here who have Asperger's and don't have that problem with math. So I doubt that your difficulties with math are attributed to Asperger's in any way."

.......... I wound up having 2 meltdowns during this-first because I was calling the one person who should be able to offer some sort of advice to be starting back up in college after so long and needing help... then again due to overanalyzing the situation of "why do they even have a learning disabilities counsellor if she cannot help anyone?" "How good of a learning disabilities counsellor can she be if she doesn't realize that just because a few people do really well in math and have Asperger's, and another doesn't, that it has absolutely nothing to do with it?" "how in the world did she get that job....?"

I'm very frustrated, upset, confused about it all (been crying on/off for an hour just because I'm extremely confused by the whole situation)... luckily my boyfriend and his friend have devised a plan to get me through math since I cannot grasp what I'm doing when trying to multi-task. One is going to listen to recorded lectures and help me write down notes/draw out diagrams and such to explain it better for me, and the other is going to help me apply it to my homework. I'm very fortunate for that.

For me this was a huge blow-I'm wanting to do computer graphics design. Math, while I know I'm going to need it, I cannot see how it applies to exactly what I'm going to be needing it for, therefore I have big time problems understanding it. Once I can actually APPLY it to what I'm doing rather than just looking at numbers on paper, I will be just fine and will learn anything new very easily if I can actually see it.

Sorry for such a long post, just sorting thoughts, venting, and recooping still.

I am thinking about going back to school too to get my BSc. I am pretty good at math and science, but have been out of it now for 5 years and a little nervous. I never got my top level math and science courses however in highschool, and even though I graduated, I am thinking about doing some correspondance courses at the highschool level to "refresh myself" before I go. I could take some courses at the university before I start for this purpose, however they cost big $$, and the highschool ones are nearly free!

I am assuming you are going back in September? Maybe you could talk it over with your Boyfriend about doing something similar with say, a Gr. 12 math through a virtual highschool? It would be good as a test run of your "system" and also too with math, the more practice you have going in, hopefully it will work as a launching pad going into the college math!

Talk to her supervisor and let him or her know about the counsellor who is unwilling to make reasonable accomodations for your disability. You could also use keywords like "lawyer," "Americans with Disabilities Act" and "lawsuit." If that doesn't help, I'm not sure what would (well you could actually talk to a lawyer if it sounds like you have a case).

Plenty of people going to that school with Aspergers though? It's got to be a huge school...

I actually start June 5th, lol-I'm very nervous, especially now that I know for sure I cannot get any help from the ld counsellor, but I think the teachers would probably be willing to listen as I'm sure they want people to know what they are teaching, lol.

It was really frustrating to see her views on the whole thing, I'm still disturbed by it really-she wouldn't listen. When I hung up I was really upset and she didn't understand why... why should she? after all, this all has nothing to do with my thought process right? lol.

Ah well, my boyfriend and his friend are going to pull me through it-he's explained the situation to his friend, and I used to help his friend on occasion with English (English, art, and music were always my strong points), so he's all for helping me out so that I can reach my goal After calming down some, it's better to have people I can call up for help at any time anyway, than to rely on the school. I don't know why, but I have this thing where I have a really hard time accepting something if it isn't told to me by a professional at times. Learning seems to be a bit like this for me, because I like to know exactly what the teacher is wanting me to learn and have difficulties accepting it from others. It's probably because I am so confused myself and have trouble remembering they aren't as lost as I am with it, lol.

I'm starting out with Dev Math I, so I should be fine for summer-I remember most of that stuff without much of a problem, as it seems to be just basics-a "refresher". So I'm not worried about that part so much as I am about later on when it gets more complicated. I just know I'm always gonna be the last one getting it, as it has never been an interest or obsession of mine it's always gone in one ear and out the other, lol. My teachers always let me slide by because they knew I could understand it if it was taught in a way I understood. Them letting me slide by caused a lot of problems later on, and up til now even.

I just still find it kind of sad that she compared me to Aspies who do well in math, lol-saying she doubted I have it as if "being good at math" is part of the criteria

It's hard to say when she says "plenty of people", because with her attitude I doubt many of them go to her, lol, and she seems to know VERY little if that many really do go there. So I think she's probably exaggerating it a bit... does it sound like it to you as well?

oh, until I go in (over the next week) my bf is also going to yank out his dev math book for me to look through and kind of help me out in refreshing as he knows I need a bit of repetition before grasping.

I still think it's awesome they are going to help me with notetaking and such in my weaker classes